I decided to do a regular recap this week because I’ve been struggling to come up with a full 10thoughts on this show.  By hour three of writing, I remembered why I stopped writing full recaps. The time commitment is bananas.  This was a good episode though, and I feel like this season is just starting to heat up.


We pick things back up on Scrub Island where Kate and Ro are in full-on PDA mode and Kelley keeps trying to win Emily over by not taking any hints and rubbing her down with sunscreen.  So this is a pattern with Kelley, right?  Back in Season 2, when Jennice had a boyfriend and kept trying to spurn his advances, he just upped the pressure.  It sort of feels like the conquest is more important to Kelley than the girl.  Wait, scratch “sort of”.


Ben is feeling bummed out because he’s lost his main playmate Kate to her heavy petting girlfriend and he is seeing everyone else on the boat pair off without him.  Lauren is also feeling frustrated to remain a full time resident of the Friend Zone when it comes to Nico.  Emily isn’t blind, so she can see how hot Kelley is, but ultimately she’s not attracted to him in that way.  Girl, I feel you.  Kyle tries to explain to Kelley that not only is Emily from London, but she from Northwest London which according to Kyle means she’s “very fucking posh”.  We already knew that though because of the “what boarding school did you go to” conversation that she had with Ben in the first or second episode.


The crew heads back to the boat and Kate and Ro get to stay in a guest room, which I didn’t realize was a thing that was allowed.  I’m guessing Kate has enough good credit with Captain Lee that he bent the rules.  Speaking of Captain Lee, the next morning he calls Kelley upstairs to remind him to be a little more proactive.  I have mixed feelings on this whole thing because I think that everything is going really well on this boat.  They got rid of the one person who sucked and for the most part the crew is mixing well together.  When things are going smoothly, people can become complacent and so I see Captain Lee’s point about needing to stay on top of the small stuff and not wasting time lounging about.  But I also think that because everything is going so well, Captain Lee is a little bored and may be looking for something to harp on.  And my last theory is similar to the “Ben & Kate Fake Fights 4 Drama”, which is to say that nothing dramatic is happening right now and perhaps the production crew is nudging cast members to up the ante a bit.


I’m attracted to Ro.  When I do occasionally dip my toe in the lady pond, she’s the type I’m usually in to.  I know I say this every week but I hate how this story ends.  I like Kate when she’s in love.  I adore Kate when she’s brash and mean, but it’s been really nice to see this softer side of her.  She’s all doe-eyed and smiley when saying her goodbyes to Ro and its sweet.  BAH.  I hate knowing the future.


We see the Return of the Slide this season and according to Captain Lee via twitter, the slide is much easier to manage than it was in season 2 because it’s been redesigned.  It still looks like a beast though.  Kelley is getting frustrated and feels like he’s being micromanaged.  I understand where he is coming from with that, I really do.  But I think Capt. Lee is just trying to bring out the best in him and hold him to a high level of standards.  My dad always taught me that it’s best to learn how to do something right the first time and then you won’t develop any bad habits that will be hard to lose later.  As per usual, I’m on Captain Lee’s side, but I can see why Kelley is getting frustrated.  I will say though, that I respect how Kelley always replies with a “you got it” or “yes Capt.” because respect for authority is a big deal in this show and a big deal to me personally.


Kyle finally makes his move and asks Sierra out on a date (fishing and then dinner).  She doesn’t seem particularly into it, but Sierra doesn’t seem particularly into anything so it’s hard to really tell.  Kyle confesses to us in a talking head that he falls in love too easily (which is an excellent Miles Davis song) and his relationships have a tendency to move quickly.  Sierra is not great at flirting.  My guess is that she’s never had to be good at it. She smiles a lot, but she’s not great at witty banter.  There’s a reason for that.


Kyle asks Sierra to walk down with him to the local money gram to send money home to his daughter Florence (which is an adorbs name for a little British girl) and we learn that Floey (as I’m now calling her) was conceived on the night of the first date that Kyle had with Floey’s mom.  Sierra is a bit taken aback to learn that Kyle has a child at all because as she later tells Emily, “it’s a lot of pressure”.  Meh.  It’s just a date.  He’s not asking you to be Floey’s stepmum.  What’s more interesting to me is that we learn Kyle financially supports the mother of his child which is a total Frank Sr. from RHONJ move.  For those playing the Below Deck Trivia game at home, Floey is “two and a bit” years old.


When people are in love they tend to want everyone else around them to share in that feeling, so Kate’s decided to play matchmaker with Ben and Emily who she’s decided “could be cute”.  Spoiler alert- they are. I heart happy Kate.


Ben, Kelley, and Kate meet up with Captain Lee to go over the info sheets on the newest charter guests.  The primaries are this financial planner guy named Steve, his girlfriend Rachel, their best friend, another business partner, the business partner’s daughter and I think some other rando.  Steve plans on proposing to Rachel the first night which concerns Ben because the whole trip might get soured if she says no.  Word to the wise: if you haven’t already had a conversation about marriage, do not propose.  If you think there’s a chance she will say no, do not propose.  If you are taking marriage seriously, you should already have no doubts about the outcome of the proposal.  Kate asks Capt. Lee how he proposed to his wife, but he refuses to dish and shrugs Kate’s question off with an “I just asked her.  Moving on.”


The crew has a sushi dinner the night before the guests arrive and nobody bothers to clean up the togo boxes.  That’s gross.  Don’t leave raw fish out all night, people.  Capt. Lee is none too pleased to see the mess the next morning and puts the blame on Kelley which isn’t exactly fair.  Everyone should be responsible for cleaning up their own mess, but ultimately a mess in the interior should fall on Kate’s shoulders.


Kelley is having a rough morning in general because he can’t see that Emily is not into it.  And by “it” I mean Kelley.  Emily feels like she’s dropping enough hints to get Kelley to back off, but I think she’s being a tad too subtle.  “Hints” aren’t going to cut it here.  Going out on a date with an entirely other guy should work though….


Speaking of, Kate learns that Emily has never received a bouquet of flowers from anyone other than her dad.  This dials up Kate’s matchmaking spidey senses and she runs off to Ben, asking him if he wants to add something for Emily to the flower order Kate’s making.  Ben bashfully says he’d like that.  SQUEEE!  The flowers are later delivered and they are…..blue?  What?  I appreciate the sentiment but those flowers are not cute.  Emily’s face when she receives them, however, is fucking adorable.  Also adorable? Ben’s definition of “rock and roll” is giving a girl her first bouquet.   Apparently these two aren’t currently dating, which is a bummer, but I’m enjoying this courtship while it lasts.


The Primary Steve (who bears an uncanny resemblance to Connor from AYTO’s Season 3) asks the stews to set up a romantic dinner and to retrieve the engagement ring that he has stashed in a sock in his backpack.  Sierra and Kate inspect the ring in the kitchen and it is massive.  I’m fully in the “diamonds are the devil” camp, but even I’ll admit that thing is a knockout.


*not the same person


Kelley decides to take Captain Lee’s advice to be proactive and takes the initiative to set up all of the water toys, including the giant pool thing that’s a huge pain in the ass to set up but that I would absolutely want if I were on a yacht because I’m terrified of the ocean.  The guests have no interest in the pool however, and want to go snorkeling.  Unfortunately, in order to get the guests on the smaller boat to go snorkeling, they have to move the pool out of the way and the current is not cooperating. It seems as though all of Kelley’s proactive hard work is for not and Captain Lee is none too pleased.  Once again, Kelley feels micromanaged when Ct. Lee comes down and orders the crew around.  The Primary is watching this mess go down and while the debacle with the boat definitely looks bad, one could argue that the Captain snapping at his crew isn’t a good look either.  After Kelley and Kyle get what they think are all the guests on the boat, we see that the Primary’s girlfriend (soon to be fiancé) Rachel has been left behind so they have to start all over again.  It’s a bit of a clusterfuck.


Kelley tries to make his move on Emily when he hears that Kyle and Sierra are going on their fishing/dinner date that evening.  Instead of asking Kyle first if he doesn’t mind turning his one-on-one into a group date, Kelley tells Emily that they will be joining as well.  Emily is uncomfortable.  She knows Kelley is interested in her, but those feelings are not reciprocated and she doesn’t want to mess up their friendship.  Plus she likes Ben now.  Yikes.  Em’s found herself in a bit of a sticky wicket here.


Emily asks Sierra about her fishing date with Kyle (who she accidently calls “Ryan”, which is fair since both names have 4 letters with second letter as a “y”- or maybe I’m just giving Emily a pass because I like her) and as far as Sierra is concerned, this is not a date because KyleRyan barely knows her. “I could have two heads, for all he knows”, she says.  Nope.  Even metaphorically, that’s not a thing.  Emily just thinks it’s nice that Sierra was asked on a date instead of being told that she’s going on a date.


I’ve said this before on the blog, but I am no fan of marriage. If it works for you, that’s great but it’s just not my thing.  Manfriend and I at some point plan to have a second child but have no interest in ever getting married.  Both of our parents are divorced, twice, and the whole concept makes us itchy.  That said, I DVR Say Yes to the Dress and have seen ever viral proposal video on youtube.  I don’t care for diamonds or marriage but I love mocking people for spending thousands on dresses they will wear only once and I love proposals.


Primary Steve looks sweaty and nervous before he stands to give a toast and he can barely get through popping the question before he starts to cry.  And then Rachel cries.  And then I cry.  Because I’m a fucking softie.  I’m horrified by Rachel’s neon yellow nail polish though.


Emily is relaying Kelly’s suggestion to tag along on the fishing date to Sierra and she’s all for it.  She tells us in a talking head that she’s not nervous to go on a one-on-one but she thinks with Emily and Kelley there, it will alleviate some of the pressure.  Meanwhile, Kelley, Nico, and Lauren are listening on the other side of the bathroom door.  Eventually everyone’s laughter and conversation reaches the ears of Kyle who is super salty about his date turning into a crew outing.  He gets really snarky about it but I completely see his point.  If Sierra wanted this to be a group date, she should have come to him first before adding several plus ones to the guest list.  Nico is also pissed about two deckies leaving the boat for an evening and piling extra work onto Lauren and himself.  Or he’s pissed because he thinks Kelley “won” in the race for Emily.  Silly boys.  Much like Princess Jasmine, Emily is not a prize to be won.


Most of the guests and crew head to bed and we watch the Primaries make out in their room for a minute which always makes me uncomfortable.  Sierra apologizes to Kyle but she’s weirded out that he wants their date to be a date.  Or something.  Meanwhile, outside cleaning some windows, Nico continues to be a Bitter Betty about the situation.


For no discernable reason, Kate asks Ben if he were one of the dwarves from Snow White, which one would he be and Ben replies “Bashful” due to the Emily Situation. #BashfulBen is probably my favorite.  Kate is in full on Cupid mode and “pressurizes” Ben to ask Emily out to dinner that night.  Ben gets huffy and insists this is something he needs to do on his own, but then he completely panics when he sees Emily walking around and chases Kate down for a pep talk.

After scolding her for talking too loud, Kate jumps around Ben like a boxing coach and pumps her fists in the air shouting “YOU CAN DO THIS! YOU’RE A MAN! YOU’RE A HOT MAN!” while Ben pounds his chest and bounces up and down.  You guys?  In a word, it’s delightful.  I couldn’t get a good screenshot because there’s so much movement, but you get the idea.

katepumpsupbenKate is the ultimate HypeMan

Kate wipes Ben’s brow, calls him a champ, and sends him into the kitchen where Emily is patiently washing dishes while whistling “Some Day My Prince Will Come” (not really, but let’s pretend).  Ben nervously gets right to the point, and after giving his best Hugh Grant impression, Emily accepts his invitation to dinner.  It’s fucking adorable.  Ben retreats back to Kate and thanks her for pushing him into asking.  This whole scene is my new happy place.


Tune in next week when Kate continues to play Cupid, a bit less successfully this time, with Sierra and Kyle!

Full recap written by Liz