- I just finished writing my #10thoughts for Jersey and I feel emotionally spent. That show is so dark, so heavy, and the one cast member who usually keeps things light and fun took us to the Holocaust Museum this week, so that’s the mental state I’m walking into this with. Because of that, I ended up laughing out loud when Vicki got her hand stuck and was shouting for help, not so much because I think it was that funny, but because I’m desperate for anything frothy and amusing. Is anyone else bummed that we missed the drunken Vicki/Shannon bonding time? Why can’t Bravo hire a graveyard shift film crew to take over for the evenings?
- Okay so here’s my problem with this cow farm shenanigans. Personally? I think it’s awesome. I grew up in the country, my high school had a 4H program and there was a cow-field next to our football stadium. I also love Baileys in my coffee, so this is the sort of activity I’d be completely on board with for my own family vacation. Which is exactly why I do not want to see it on Housewives. A major part of this show’s original concept had to do with wish-fulfillment; i.e. we got to see these women live lives that we could only dream of, and this was more in line with a 4th grade class trip. It’s also the sort of thing that makes me cringe a little. “Rich white women visit the farm and freak out when they get dirty” is a used up concept. Besides, #ParisAndNicoleDidItBetter. There is something I did love about this scene, though- Heather Dubrow. That woman is always game to do whatever and she only talks shit about it during her talking heads. I think that’s why I look at Heather as the “mom” of the group. It’s like Heather is stuck with these little girls who are whiney and awful but she’s got to keep the ball rolling so she stays positive and slaps on a happy face on in public. It makes me want to get wasted with her.
- I love how MKE took the genealogist seriously and has decided to ditch her previously scheduled events to go tap on stranger’s shoulders and see if she’s related to them. Tamra’s right- “that’s weird.” But I do see the wisdom in keeping Kelly away from the rest of the women. I hope that Francis women whose mother was an O’Toole knew what she was signing up for by admitting that she could be related to MKE. She really did look a lot like Meggo’s mom though. I also hope Meghan sends her a candle.
- Is anyone else sexually attracted to Joe the Irish farmer? And more importantly, is anyone else uncomfortable with Heather calling her husband on facetime to inspect Vicki’s nipples?! Look, I get that he’s a plastic surgeon who sees a million boobs a day. And I get that Heather is completely secure and has no reason to feel weird about it which I applaud her for. But there is something icky about it to me. For example, a friend of mine back in high school had just started seeing this guy and she was invited over for dinner with his family. When she got there, she realized that the guy’s father was her gynecologist. And that was the end of that romance. Because once you realize your boyfriend’s father has seen your vagina before your boyfriend has, then that’s all you can think about. I get that these two stories don’t totally relate, but the way my stomach feels when I hear them is exactly the same.
- Anyone who follows this blog knows that I’m a big fan of the sincere apology. The best example of how it should be done is the public apology Shep from Southern Charm posted on social media when he called his friend Bailey “DTF” in an episode halfway through last season. It was thoughtful, eloquent, and kind. Shep realized that he said something gross and demeaning about a woman and he made it nice. But the strength of an apology begins to crumble away when it becomes a pattern. Kelly says something heinous, apologizes through tears, promises to be better, and then repeats the process. How can you take an apology seriously if it’s the 5th times you’ve heard it? Apologizing is only the first step down the long road of Making It Right. Ramona is a serial offender of this as well and it’s one of many reasons why she was deemed The Worst this season, even after Bethenny Frankel’s disgusting behavior. Also? The second step to Making It Right is giving the person you’ve wronged the time and space to forgive you. Saying “I’m Sorry” does not automatically grant you forgiveness. Kelly hugging up to Tamra and thanking her for forgiving her 10 minutes after the apology is completely wack. Kelly has no concept of social norms. None. Not One. Zero. Zero. Zero. (She looks stunning during her confessionals this episode though. I hate purple but it looks so good on people with Kelly’s complexion.)
See Shep’s apology to fellow SouthernCharmer Bailey below:
- Meghan’s distant relatives were apparently in some sort of Hatfield and McCoy’s situation back in the day and Meghan’s side trapped 60 people in a room and killed them all. Bad. Ass. (I mean, that’s horrible, but seeing Meghan’s face when she got the news was pretty magical.) Did you guys watch that Hatfield & McCoy’s miniseries on the History Channel? It was so great; almost as great as Vicki being completely incompetent on that bicycle. I want to judge her more for it, but I’ll remind you all that the last time I was on a bike, I was drunk and slammed into a pole roughly 15 seconds after I got on and sprained my ankle so I’m not really one to talk.
- I’m trying to understand why the women are pushing drinks on Kelly. I want to believe that it’s innocent and that they are just trying to keep the ball rolling on vacation fun, but anyone with two eyes and a brain can see that Kelly flies off the handle when she’s drunk and if you’re trying to keep the peace, or not have any other blow ups, wouldn’t you encourage Kelly to stay moderately sober? On the other hand, everyone on this show knows why they are there and what they are getting paid for, so I can understand the motivation to provoke Kelly into another meltdown. I like it from a viewer’s perspective, but as a human being, it makes me……uncomfortable at best.
- I need to rephrase that because I’m no longer uncomfortable. I was uncomfortable watching the picnic, but I’ve moved on to horrified at seeing Shannon push so hard to get Kelly drunk on tequila. This is so fucked up. I felt at the beginning of the season that Shannon did in fact set Kelly up at her 70s party, but Kelly’s been such a nutcase since then that I was moved squarely back in Shannon’s corner until now. Kelly repeatedly said that she didn’t want to drink at dinner and Shannon all but ignored her. Sure, Kelly was the one to ultimately take the first sip, but if you keep handing an alcoholic cocktails, then you absolutely share a role in getting said alcoholic drunk. This is fucking shady. Everyone can see what’s happening here. Even Kelly can tell what Shannon’s endgame is. But Kelly is an alcoholic (with probably a myriad of other issues), so Kelly is not equipped with the kind of willpower she needs to stay sober in this situation. And every single one of those bitches knows it. Horrified. Completely horrified.
- It takes a whole hell of a lot to get me on Kelly’s side these days, and I’m sure she’s going to say something any minute now to get me off of it, but holy shit, you guys. I completely understand not wanting to hang out with Kelly. She’s a loose cannon and says pretty vile stuff when she’s wasted. I also (sort of) understand why Heather filmed the hallway scene because as a viewer I’m so tired of Bravo cameras not catching things. But……What. The. Fuck, Tamra?! She knew exactly what she was doing when she sent that selfie and text. And…….What. The. Fuck, Vicki? SHE knew exactly what SHE was doing when she stirred the Tamra/Kelly shit pot. I think I’m actually angriest with Vicki. Vicki is supposed to be Kelly’s “friend” but now that she’s back in the good graces of the other women, Vicki just drop kicks Kelly like that? THIS IS WHY NO ONE BRINGS YOU CASSEROLES, VICKI.
- As far as I’m concerned, these women are reaping what they sow from Kelly on the bus ride to the airport. They participated in getting her wasted, they poked at her, they sent her middle of the night aggressive text messages to get her riled up, and now they think they can sit back and be offended when she goes off on them? Nope. Should Kelly have said what she said about Shannon’s chin hair? No, of course not. (Chin hair is coming for us all eventually.) Kelly is a fucked up, severely damaged, rage-filled loon. But every single one of those women is fully aware of that and instead of just ignoring her or trying to encourage her positive intention to not drink, they dumped a bucket of lighter fluid onto an already burning flame. And what Heather said about Kelly’s kid was fucked up. True, but fucked up. I feel sorry for Jolie as well. Not necessarily because Kelly is her mother, but because she’s going to see this eventually and this season has been a pretty deep poop bucket of shame for a kid to wade through.
I need Atlanta and Vanderpump Rules back in my life, ASAP.
10thoughts written by Liz