- I have to say something controversial. I think I like Jimmy. I know, I KNOW! I can’t even give you a good reason why. I know he’s acted like a total douche on this show but there’s something about the guy that I’m kinda into. He is just so bad on camera and I genuinely think he had no idea what he was signing up for when Meghan got on the show. There’s no clearer evidence of this than when he walks up to the fighting women at the candle store opening and asks them to take it outside. This request is promptly ignored and the women keep bickering while Jimmy walks away sheepishly. I think I find it endearing? (Please don’t stop reading the blog)
- Something I do not find endearing is Shannon’s pissy attitude about Vicki not returning her call or even sending a text. Let’s break this down: Vicki claimed to have wanted to be friends with Shannon again. Shannon made it clear that that was not going to happen. Vicki ends up in the hospital, Shannon doesn’t visit because they are not friends. Shannon calls Vicki to check in and Vicki doesn’t return the call because they are not friends. Neither of these women are going to give an inch of kindness to the other because they are not friends. And if anything, Shannon getting all high and mighty about it is obnoxious Vicki-like behavior. Sometimes I think these women are far too alike than they realize. “That which is not familiar, does not disturb us.” Vicki threatening to expose any secrets Shannon may have told her during their friendship puts me squarely back in Shannon’s corner though. God, Vicki. You are The Worst. (I LOVED the video reel of Vicki getting into everyone else’s relationship business while bitching about them intruding into hers).
- Shannon’s daughter needs a new organic mattress that’s free of toxins because it’s important to not breathe in chemicals and flame-retardant spray while your body is trying to repair itself over night. Meanwhile, over at my house, my 11 month old son keeps making out with the dog while Manfriend and I laugh and take pictures. Something that doesn’t make me laugh? Vicki threatening to out Shannon’s secret while admitting it would be hurtful to Shannon’s family. What. The. Fuck. This is a woman who once claimed to be “Jesus, nailed to the cross”, and now she’s threatening the happiness of a family that has been in disarray for the last few years? Fuck off, Vicki Gunvulson. You’re a terrible person.
- So what do we think is the deal with Kelly’s marriage? On the one hand, they seem to party really well together and other than that little spat in the garage about whose divorce attorney was better (best argument in a long time on this show), we haven’t really seen any of the behaviors in Michael that Kelly claims he has. We have, on the other hand, seen Kelly lose her shit regularly. She also seems to relish in throwing him under the bus to the other women and has openly talked about wanting to leave him. Whereas he seems to be committed to making it work though. But I can’t tell if that’s at all genuine or if it’s a “Sleeping with the Enemy” type of thing. Ultimately, I think Kelly doesn’t want to be with him (clearly, my god) but the divorce was so difficult last time that she’s hoping that her behavior on the show will push him into being the one to file. I’m guessing this plan will catastrophically backfire. I have spent way too much of my own life thinking about this…
- Meghan needs to fire her doctor. Any doctor who tells a pregnant woman that it’s weird for her to not be a glowing vessel of light can fuck right off a cliff as far as I’m concerned. I was MISERABLE from almost the moment I found out until the day of extraction. I was pissed off, moody, I cried constantly, I was sick and mean, I felt zero connection to my baby, and I will tell you right now- I would have clawed the eyes out of anyone (ESPECIALLY any man) who tried to tell me that I shouldn’t be feeling what I was feeling. I also never got that burst of energy Jimmy talks about. It’s supposed to come in the 2nd trimester. It did not for me.
- Oh, Vicki. Selling insurance to people so that they’ll be covered if they get cancer is not “charity”. I don’t know why she seems to think that it is. I also don’t understand why she thinks her involvement with “Kill All Cancer” is going to prove anything to the other women. But most of all, I do not, cannot, and will not ever understand why anyone involved in any cancer charity would want Vicki to be their spokesperson. The wackos over at KAC are cuckoo bananas for thinking this was a good idea. So much so, that they’ve put me squarely on the side of their opposition. I’m officially #TeamCancer
- Shannon 100% has unresolved issues and Heather was right to push her on it even though Heather has quickly become that cast member who has no storyline of her own and so she’s meddling into everyone else’s. Could someone please steal a bow off of her cake so she’ll have something to talk about? I don’t care about the Dubrow’s book. It’s a stupid title and I don’t care if it made me drop 30lbs and look 16 again- I will never voluntarily put leeches on my body. Heather looks great in her red party dress though.
- Props to Shannon for showing every single other housewife in the history of forever how to behave at a party with someone you don’t like but feel you must get along with for the sake of your friend group. If anything though, this solidifies to me that Shannon genuinely has no interest in being friends with Vicki. If this was just an argument for the sake of the cameras, she’d take every opportunity to fight. This shows she’s behaving as a normal person would and is choosing to make the best of a bad situation. Also- I like what little we know of Vicki’s boyfriend so far. Yeah, he has some dismissed assault charges, but they seem to be all from the early 90s. And the 2012 incident was with a man who admitted to sleeping with Vicki’s BF’s wife at the time. Which I think sort of excuses crazy behavior. If there’s more I don’t know, feel free to enlighten me in the comments. I’ll welcome the chance to rip on another one of Vicki’s life choices.
- Thank you Tamra for ruining homemade ice cream for me by saying it “looks like a yeast infection”. And thank you Meghan for coming up with some cockamamie excuse for the gals to go to Ireland. With the exception of Dubai, this is the first legitimate Housewives Trip we’ve had in ages.
- The more shit Kelly Dodd talks about her husband, the more I’m becoming #TeamMichael. Kelly bitching about anyone being shitfaced is laughable. That said, Michael is completely shmammered. And that was Kelly’s brother who was there with them, right? I’m telling you, something really weird is going on with that family. I look forward to next week when everyone turns on Kelly and Tamra hyperventilates.
#10thoughts written by Liz