- I think it’s amazing when people act like complete garbage around their children and then wonder why those same kids end up as total monsters. But Farrah is too far removed from any semblance of self-awareness to ever realize that Sophia is just a product of her shitty environment. Already, all the good will I sort of felt for Farrah (for once in my life!) is gone and it’s only been 2 minutes. Sophia was sick and Farrah just kept screaming at her to get dressed. I know it’s wrong for parents to shame other parents, but damn. She’s The Worst.
- Okay, I recognize that I am not the audience for wedding talk. I was never the little girl who dreamed of her wedding and I have no interest in ever getting married now. But I cannot imagine how it is worth it to spend $20k on a venue for one day of your life when that money could be spent on a down payment for a house, or the most bomb-ass month long honeymoon ever. Now, obviously, if you have the money to spend, go ahead and do you. But Maci is a reality tv “star” whose husband “owns” a t-shirt line that as far as I can tell are just fruit-of-the-loom T’s with a colored pocket. Maybe that $20k could be better spent elsewhere? Like….a college savings fund? Or an IUD?
- Matt says Amber’s been getting sick “a lot lately” and he tells his friend who looks like a fatter Matt (aka FatMatt from now on), that they should pick her up some Pedialyte. You know what Pedialyte is great for? Hangovers. Just sayin’. It DOES suck that Amber got sick on a Wednesday. But Applebee’s has karaoke on Tuesday nights, so what are ya gonna do.
- Oh for FUCK SAKE. A $3000 micro mini pig? REALLY CATELYNN?! Literally just a recap or two ago, I applauded you and Tyler for spending your money wisely. And now you’ve decided to get a fucking micro pig? I….I have no words. I really don’t. And don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against pigs. In fact, I want one. I totally want one. Like most children of the 80s, I’ve wanted my own pig since Charlotte’s Web. But I’m a god damn adult now, with a child and a budget. And that means I don’t get to spend $3,000 on a mother flippin micro pig. My friend Victoria was right. I am NOT happy about this. I am, however, thrilled by Butch putting the Easter Bunny costume on backwards. I’m also ultimately thrilled by that pig because it’s cute as fuck. A terrible, financially dangerous mistake, but cute as a button.
- It’s so nice that Catelynn and April can spend some quality mother daughter time going to go pick up the pig, laughing together, fielding a call from Tyler asking where the roaches are, and hot boxing the car. Wait, what? So this is how it is, huh? Tyler and Catelynn have been the darlings of this franchise since their first appearance on 16 & Pregnant. I guess Harvey Dent was right…you either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.
- This episode is irritating the living fuck out of me. People need to stop buy pets they can’t take care of. Domesticated animals are a decade+ long responsibility. Amber’s animals shit all over the place as it is. She has a million dogs. Why is she adopting a scared street cat and making it live in a house full of shitty little dogs? Seriously, between Maci’s fake “surprise” pregnancy, Catelynn’s god damn mini pig, Farrah’s Farrahness, and now this shenanigans, all of these girls are dead to me. They are making me long for Chelsea’s baby talk and Leah’s god awful parenting of her girlses.
- You guys, let’s be real. Simon and Farrah are not dating. They just aren’t. They barely looked at each other when he got in the car at the airport. How much is he getting paid? Would Farrah be a tolerable person to hang out around if you were getting paid? These are the important questions. Also- why the fuck did Farrah beat the shit out of the children’s piñata? She’s an adult. Well, sort of. Okay, not really. DO NOT WALK ON HER CARPET WITH YOUR SHOES SIMON, GOD DAMN IT SHE’S TOLD YOU “PROBABLY 1000 TIMES”. AND FOR THE RECORD- HOW DARE YOU ENJOY YOURSELF AT A BORING AS FUCK KID ACTIVITY. You guys? I love Simon so much. #TeamSimon
- Oh lord. Leah is the most manipulative child. But like Sophia, she’s just a product of her environment, so I can’t blame her. Is MTV setting aside money for all of the therapy these kids are gonna need later on? Also, for the record, I think Gary told Leah that Amber was at the hospital. I think Gary hates Amber, and for good reason, but he’s a good dad who wants the best for Leah and he wouldn’t want Leah to think Amber abandoned her. I think Amber is in a rough position here because she has a lot of time to make up as a mom and doesn’t have the confidence of a full time parent. Meaning, a full time parent knows when their kid is playing them, or at least they have a better chance at recognizing it. UGH. These poor kids.
- As expressed earlier, I’m not a wedding girl. Never have been. But when she’s gown shopping, Maci is the grumpiest grump who ever grumped. I also want to say that I immediately judge every reality star who goes shopping for wedding dresses somewhere other than Kleinfeld’s. Why would you not film a crossover episode with Say Yes To The Dress? As my dear friends in a certain secret facebook group know, I HATED Katie Maloney’s dress, but at least she had the good sense to make a trip to NYC and do it right.
- “We can’t just keep waiting for this thing to go away”. YES. Yes. Unlike circumstantial sadness, clinical depression is not one of those things that time can magically heal. I really applaud him for being as supportive as he has been. I also applaud Catelynn for admitting that she needs to stop smoking pot. I applaud her for realizing that she needs to get help. I talk a lot of shit on this blog, but I will always stand by a person who admits they are struggling and actively seeks out help. It’s like the hard-on I get for a legit apology. Acknowledge and then make steps to fix your shit, people! The audience will stand by you. We hope you got the help you need, Catelynn. And we also hope Catelynn’s sister watched a lot of youtube videos on micro pig care. Because all of these girls pet’s deserve better.
10thoughts written by Liz