1. I love Chris Laurita. I think he is sexy and sweet and while he has a little bit of the dead-eyed Beador thing going on, I think he’s in my Top Five Favorite HouseHusbands. When he asked Jacqueline if she felt like the weekend went the way she wanted it to, part of me thought he meant “did you forget that you’ve been cast as the villain and need to act accordingly?” but I think he was just being supportive. I also loved his analogy about “the watch”, and how Teresa is the type of person who doesn’t want to know how to build a watch, she just wants to know what time it is, whereas Jacqueline wants to know how to build it, who’s the manufacturer, and what company handles distribution. I think that accurately describes the central conflict in a lot of relationships.
2. I appreciate that Melissa is at her store all the time. So often these housewives start “businesses” and then rely solely on their partners or staff to make it happen. (Cough cough DOLORES cough cough) I don’t think this store is just an ego-stroker for Melissa; I think she really wants it to succeed. But Jackie is right when she says the majority of the country does not have Melissa’s body. “Tiny Clothes for Tiny Women” is a niche market and if Melissa wants the store to be even moderately successful, it needs to include some clothes that would look baggy if worn by children. I’m curious though, what it is about an actual store that appeals to Melissa. So much of shopping is done online these days, and many housewives have successful online or QVC brands. What is it about the brick and mortar that appealed to her? It seems like such a gamble. Melissa is stressed out. She’s juggling two full time jobs in her home life and the store and I thinks she needs an executive assistant. Call me, Melissa! (But seriously, so many of the other housewives have EA’s or PA’s, and I get she has a staff, but she needs to learn how to delegate more.)
3. Sometimes I wonder which housewife I’m the most like and that always sends me down a rabbit hole of introspection before I ultimately land on “oh shit, am I Juicy?” I’m scared for myself. I applaud Teresa for taking the few weeks before her time away at “camp” to make memories with her daughters and leave the right way. But like Juicy, I would probably be completely shmammered and depressed the entire time. Juicy is acting like a spoiled brat and needs a perspective jolt (or kick in the ass). I don’t think Teresa is being a doormat by not fighting it out with him though. I think she has a pretty good handle on the situation and is acting accordingly. (I know, I can hardly believe it myself).
4. I love that Siggy is a bad driver. I come from a long line of bad drivers but for years I prided myself on being better than all of them until one day when I was touting my driving skills at dinner, Manfriend got uncharacteristically quiet and uncomfortable. I badgered him until he said, “you’re so good at so many other things…” Maybe I’m a Siggy. Can I be a Siggy? That’s so much better than being a Juicy.
5. Rosie is now, and has been since her arrival, one of my favorite people on this show. She reminds me of my Aunt Judy who lives in Texas, and I can’t help but feel annoyed with Teresa for how she’s iced Rosie out. I don’t understand what went wrong there and why they can’t pull it back together. Kathy is the same way for me. I think ultimately, it comes down to embarrassment. Teresa was embarrassed to be around her family after everything that happened, and her pride is now getting in the way of making amends. It’s easier to make up with friends because they don’t know you and your life like family does. I do, however, feel like the reason Melissa and JoeGorga are getting along with Teresa so well is because they are busting their ass trying to keep that relationship afloat. But I get why Kathy and Rosie have faded more into the background. Come on, Tre. We need to get Juicy and Rosie back together. They are the 2nd greatest love story in this series*. Also, kudos to Rosie for getting some air, calming down, and coming back inside to play poker. Sometimes people just need a little time out.
*Milania and Juicy being the obvious first in this category.
6. Umm…Dolores? Your situation is nothing like “hiring a bookkeeper”. Nothing, nada, not even a little bit. You ex (EX!) husband is paying all of your bills! And I get how could have maybe been seen as more of a partnership back when her kids were young and she was a full time mom, but her kids are basically adults now. Personally, I think this arrangement was a way for Frank Sr. to keep tabs on and control his ex. I know D is a willing participant here, but this arrangement is bizarre and definitely has a ticking clock. What if Frank dies tomorrow? Is Dolores in his will? What if Frank falls in love with a woman who isn’t comfortable with him bankrolling his ex-wife’s lifestyle and he cuts Dolores off? Does she have savings? I get that Bravo is 40 parts story, 60 parts editing, but its making Dolores seem very naïve about her financial future. That said, I completely understand how paralyzing the comfortable can be. I want better for her. Boo wants better for her. RIP Boo (more on that later).
7. I love how heavily traditional Italian families so often give their children old-school sounding names. I think Antonia is a gorgeous name. The daddy-daughter dance thing was cute and I really loved Melissa’s talk about how she wants her daughter to feel proud and self-assured. I think a small boutique stocked only with Melissa-Gorga sized clothes is doomed to fail, but I truly do #WantABusinessToSucceed.
8. Teresa is her best self when she’s with her daughters or giving a talking head about them. But I think there’s a slight level of unease when she’s talking to Gia. Their dynamic has shifted in an irrevocable way. Gia had to step into a Head of Household roll far too young and she will have to do that again when Juicy leaves. That’s tough for any kid to bear, but to have to do it while your family is in the spotlight, and know that you can’t complain because cameras = money for the family is extra difficult. I got a chill up my spine when Gia said she felt like it would be good for Juicy to go away. But she’s absolutely right.
9. Did Dorinda know Teresa before coming on Housewives? Did John introduce them? Because you know John and Juicy just have to be related somehow back in the old country. Speaking of The Old Country, Juicy’s friend Chris is a delightful fellow, eh? Good lord. I’m not sure I understand why FriendChris spiraled into a rant about the mob and the government just because the club is enforcing their 21 and up policy. Let’s not bring Cosa Nostra into this just because you were given some bad intelligence about the bar’s age requirements. Also, um…Juicy? How’s about you not tell your lawyer to “shut the fuck up” when he’s doing his best to counsel you against getting your wife’s parole violated by bringing your ex con buddy around her. Juicy seems like a mostly affable lunkhead but the guy is a terror when he’s drunk. I hate that these are the last impressions he’s leaving with his family. Sidenote…can someone, once and for all, confirm to me whether it’s “Jew-dice” or “Jew-dee-chee”? I need clarity there.
10. I can’t even begin to express how thrilled I am that that soulless broken garden gnome Kim D is going to be making an appearance later this season. We need a villain that we can actually hate, and Kim D. brings that to the table. Jacqueline is bad at it and has too many important family things happening for me to ever actively root against her. As do all the main cast members, really. We need a ringer because Housewives shows thrive best when there’s someone to really hate on and we just don’t have that here. So bring on the Kim D!
Bonus Thought: RIP Boo. We’ve seen parental deaths, sick kids, the total destruction of friendships, and terrible wigs on this franchise, but nothing gets me like a dying dog. Toby-the-Wonder-Dog is 8 years old now, so I’d like to formally put in a request that Siggy come over to comfort me with white flowers and tequila whenever the eventual unthinkable has to happen. There’s that cheesy saying about how humans live longer than dogs because we need all that time to get it right and become good. Dog sare pure and good from the start so they have a shorter time with us. We should all strive to be as good a human as our dog thinks we are.
And lastly just in case you missed it….
10thoughts written by Liz