Too much wine has been had, so my editing of this article is going to be suspect at best. I wish myself the best of luck, and wish you the same. Here goes:
- Debra is a real piece of work. It’s not really a surprise that Farrah turned out the way she did, being raised in that house. Debra is pissed because in response to her “Simon is domestically violent” claims from last season, Simon posted Debra’s mugshot on…twitter? Personally, I think that’s really funny and it makes me like Simon a whole lot more but Debra doesn’t agree with me and thinks it’s appropriate to pull him aside at her granddaughter’s 7th birthday party to hash it out. That’s some Ramona-level crazy right there. Time and place, Deb…
- Maci can barely enjoy being engaged because now she has to plan a wedding. Seems like a whole lot of hassle and money to me, but I was never the little girl who dreamed of her wedding and I have no real plans to ever get married. If Manfriend and I ever did, it would likely be for tax purposes. Because, you know, I’m a real romantic.
- I sort of understand now why Catelynn & Tyler’s house was only 74k. It needs a LOT of work. I will say though, that I appreciate how frugal Catelynn and Tyler seem to be with their TeenMom money. They’ve never lived in a big house or even moved out of their hometown. Is Catelynn getting paid by weight watchers? She name drops it in almost every scene. I’m fine with that, as I love weight watchers (PAY ME TOO) but it’s becoming very product-placementy.
- Gary needs to grow the (neck)beard back. His head looks like a talking ball sack. And I’m fascinated by his wife Kristina. Didn’t they meet at a Walmart? She seems like a nice and pretty girl. There’s no way she couldn’t have found someone better than Gare-Bear. But she also doesn’t seem thirsty enough for screen time to have been in this for the fame which confuses me. Speaking of thirsty, When Matt and his friend from out of town who looks just like Matt+50lbs go out for lunch, Matt says that he can’t let the rumors bring him down or it will fuck with his sobriety. Matt says this while he drinks a beer. It’s been a while since I darkened the doorway of an AA meeting, but I’m pretty sure you can’t claim sobriety if you’re having beers at lunch.
- Saddest thing ever? Sophia’s birthday party is all adults. At one point we see maybe two other kids, but she’s seven. Why aren’t their more kids there? Maybe the other parents won’t let their children anywhere near Farrah? That’s probably smart but makes me sad for Sophia. Also- Debra is LIT UP. She is hammered at her granddaughter’s birthday party. This family is sad and weird. Simon, on the other hand, is kinda awesome. Simon calling Debra out for her bullshit was great and I love how he stood up for Michael and walked away when Debra started spiraling. Also? Farrah hasn’t met Simon’s parents. For real though, these two aren’t actually dating, right? Simon is her pretend made-for-tv boyfriend, right? Whatever they are paying him, it isn’t enough. #GiveSimonARaise
- I love Ryan’s dad Larry. I love Ryan’s mom too, actually and I can’t help but wonder how such awesome people created a Ryan. Larry usually dispels his homespun wisdom from a folding chair with a beer in his hand, but this time he was spackling while Ryan pretended to play on his phone. Also, it’s not my business to tell someone how to parent, but I agree with Maci that Bentley doesn’t need to always meet Ryan’s girlfriends, especially if they aren’t serious ones.
- I grew up on Loveline and I adore Dr. Drew when he’s not letting the worst of the TeenMoms get away with murder (Leah, Farrah, Janelle) and I know he’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but I highly recommend listening to the WTF podcast episode that he was on. It was really good and only made me like him more. I’m concerned that Catelynn hasn’t been as honest with her own therapist as she is with Dr. Drew. Someone should have told Cate that smoking marijuana can counteract the effects of antidepressants and while I take no issue with pot smokers, and think it should be just as legal as alcohol, hearing that Catelynn smokes 2-3 times a day does concern me. Isn’t she Nova’s primary caretaker? And we see her smoking and then driving which isn’t safe. Not to mention, the munchies fucking with her dieting and being stoned is not great for a person’s motivation. Usually. I had a friend who used to get high and rollerblade for miles.
- It IS creepy and weird that Matt tweeted a bunch of other Teen Moms before hooking up with Amber. But mostly because I hate thirsty twitter fans. I stand by my statement that I think he’s good for Amber and he seems to be great with Leah, but the fact that he told Amber he didn’t really know much about Teen Mom OG when they first got together is concerning. Also, can I just say that the phone call between Farrah and Amber was the most likeable Farrah has ever been? She didn’t yell at Amber or scold her or talk down to her. Farrah just expressed concern and offered support. What…what just happened? This is not the Farrah I’m used to….
- I don’t trust Catelynn’s therapist. It concerns me that it took a call from Dr. Drew for her to find out that Catelynn has been self-medicating with marijuana. Therapist (I don’t remember her name) doesn’t seem to have a handle on this session at all and her waiving off Catelynn’s concerns with a “kids are resilient” is a red flag. Get a new therapist, Cate.
- Why is Maci trying to pretend like she gained weight all willy-nilly? My math could be wrong, but I think she’s 4-5 months pregnant during filming. It’s weird. The whole point of the OG show is to pull the curtain back and be more real than the other series, so this is dumb. I’ve heard that Macy was caught drinking while pregnant so she’s fudged the timeline to make it seem like she didn’t know she was knocked up while knockin ‘em back. This scene is reading so fake. Macy is not a first time mother who is clearly already showing. There is not a chance in hell she didn’t already know. This is stupid and it’s making me disinterested in Maci’s storyline. Every time one of these teen moms has another oops baby, it makes me whisper a quick prayer of thanks for the IUD I had put in 6 weeks after my own oops baby. #Paragard4TheWin
10thoughts written by Liz