Edit: We hear you, fans. We will change Bitchany to QueenB. See how easy it is to admit when you’re doing something wrong and to alter your behavior? – K

1. I have so many things to say about QueenB telling Luann about the cheating fiancé. I agree QueenB had to tell her; I also think it was kind of her to let Lu have the weekend and tell her at the end. What makes it cruel is that QueenB told her B-team gang of minions so they could gossip about it together all weekend. That’s the only thing I will say in favor of QueenB , because the rest of the episode she exhibited absolutely ridiculous behavior. Quite honestly, I don’t know where to begin. With the shaking as she’s drinking but literally no other time? When SHE is the one hurt by this? How about when she orders her B-team to bring her a drink so she can show her SG label to the world? Maybe when she then orders her B-team out of the room so it’s not a group thing – even though every action she’s taken before this moment has made it a group thing? I can’t process all the garbage behavior.


2. My husband does not watch the wives. I asked him to watch this episode with me so I could have fresh eyes. He asked me why QueenB gets to be in charge of every one and order them around. He then speculated she must be a producer. Finally, he noticed that there was SG stuff planted everywhere – her nightstand in the hotel room, her dresser next to the door, the entire 30 minute party…this is one SG commercial, the B-team gang are the actresses, and QueenB is the director. I would say Lu, Dorinda, Sonja, and Jules are extras, but they’re more like understudies for extras. Available when the director needs them. That all being said, it’s not like Dorinda doesn’t dip her toe into the B-team gang cesspool. She didn’t invite Sonja to her party because QueenB ordered her not to. (It’s that simple, and Dorinda claiming anything else is an insult to the viewers’ intelligence.) Dorinda also sat there and let QueenB call her a village idiot for being kind to Luann. Maybe Dorinda has Stockholm syndrome? To some degree, Sonja is following orders too because she’s not drinking anymore.


3. So I’ve already touched on how QueenB made the Tom-cheating-on-Luann thing entirely about her, so I’ll point out that Ramona did the same thing. She was crying about page six, page six, page six. Yes, we get it, Ramona, but this isn’t about you. However, someone telling Ramona that anything at any moment isn’t about her would be like trying to convince a brick wall to relocate. I just can’t with these women. I do appreciate that she looked like a hot mess though. I hate it when they pretend they’re in full make-up all the freaking time.


4. Everyone has issue with the fact that Lu was mad that Tom did this in such a public place rather than he did it at all. First of all, she DID care that he did it. That part wasn’t shown in the preview for the episode, but it was shown in the episode. Second, it DOES matter where he did it. He didn’t do it in a random, dark bar where no one could see. He did it at a place where Lu was EARLIER THAT NIGHT with him and in front of tons of people who know them. To be cheated on is one thing, but to be cheated on in that fashion is an entirely different level of humiliating. It’s like he was trying to prove how little he cared about Lu. He didn’t even bother to keep cheating on her private. However, Sonja put it best when she asked, “WHY is anyone surprised by this??” Word, Sonja.


5. I’m going to leave Miami behind and talk about how quickly Lu forgave Tom and turned on QueenB . First, I don’t care that she forgave Tom. If she wants to marry another Count, go for it. Whenever QueenB would judge Lu’s relationship, my husband would accurately state, “Says the woman who put her wedding and marriage on a television show.” Anyway, Lu may look like a fool for staying with him, but at least she’s bringing it on herself. I do have some issues with her killing the messenger, so to speak. It wasn’t QueenB that cheated on you, Lu, that was Tom. I will agree that QueenB was a little too invested in this love affair. I mean, really, 11:31 to 12:39? That’s awfully specific. She called the bar and claimed to be the girl? What? Did she watch the security footage that her co-workers (RHONY producers) pulled for her too? If anything, Lu should be mad that QueenB told her B-team hags so they could discuss it all weekend before Lu know. It made Lu look like a fool – and I’m of the opinion only Lu should be able to make Lu look foolish. Lu will achieve that goal if you just leave her to her own devices. Of course, Carole and Ramona were going to gossip about Lu all weekend anyway so I guess ultimately it doesn’t matter.


6. Tom and Lu trying to get Dorinda to cover for them was some low-base bullsh!t.


7. It was cringe-worthy to see Lu stomp up to the women and demand they stop speaking about her. Um, they weren’t. Also, on what planet is Lu that she thinks anyone will care if she leaves this party?


8. If there was a piñata with $10K worth of jewelry in it, you better believe I’d pull a Ramona to get it. She lost a shoe, people. Is she broke too? Does anyone else think that QueenB did this just to throw her money in her minions’ faces? Like, she’s up here and they’re down there. Look at QueenB , showering her minions with precious jewels. However, she’s not going to just hand it to them, no no. She’s going to make them go temporarily blind, swing a stick, and then fight each other for it. The jewelry cost mere pennies to QueenB . I imagine it’s like her sitting on the Iron Throne and throwing food at her starving subjects. Yes, they’re getting the food they need to survive, but let’s humiliate them for my amusement before they get to eat.


9. Adam looks better with his haircut, but that couple still skeeves me out. I have literally zero reason to justify this feeling. I just can’t help how I feel.

10. I have saved my last thought for the line that QueenB uttered that defined the season for me. She toasted to women as the final seconds were closing. She did this without any trace of irony. NO. You do NOT get to call Luann a slut (amongst many other things but that’s the worst anti-woman offense), totally ice out Sonja, call Dorinda a village idiot and insert your opinion about her boyfriend whenever you can, gossip about Jules’ eating disorder all season – mostly in front of her, make fun of Ramona constantly, and order Carole around all. the. time. and then TOAST to women. You want to talk about hypocrite-shaming, QueenB ? You are the biggest hypocrite of them all. You hate women. Well, you hate everyone, but you certainly hate women. You do not get to toast to us. Your actions are damaging to women. You must already know that, however, since you “know it all.” Thank God this season is nearly over and I don’t have to watch QueenB try to ruin things for any woman who dares cross her path for at least a few months.

#10thoughts written by Kerry