I’m sorry I’ve taken so long to write this.  I’ve been working on a super-secret Below Deck project that will hopefully be coming to fruition soon, and also I sort of hate this show now so it’s difficult to get up the gumption to watch it.  But I force myself to do so for you, dear sweet readers.

We start things off at SkinnyGirlHQ, where Bethenny is trying to cram some last minute work in before her surgery; namely, a line of skinny girl chocolates.  She’s getting her makeup done by one of those gay guys who looks like a gorgeous alien while her marketing director Joanne goes over the details of the SG chocolates launch.  Carole will be attending and Bethenny tells Joanne how supportive the women have been, specifically Ramona.  You all know my feelings on Ramona, but I think like this only solidifies my theory that off camera she must be the nicest friend (which is why her birthday lunches always have 40+ women at them), but something happens to her on camera where she turns into a petulant troll.  The scene where Ramona says she doesn’t want Bethenny to be alone so she brought a book to read in the other room, warmed my cold dead heart ever so slightly.

Ramona and Sonja are taking a dance lesson from one of the SushiRox dancers (you know how ya do) and I’m finding it completely endearing.  For a moment there I thought to myself, is this the episode that turns me around on Ramona?  But then, HA- NOPE.  She starts shit talking Luann’s relationship and I’m right back to where I started.  Since Ramona has to have someone she is talking down to at all times, and she and Sonja have patched things up, it’s Lu’s turn to feel the full force of Ramona’s cattiness.

sonjaramona

Sonja proves yet again that she’s the most kind-hearted person on this show as she tries to remind Ramona that it’s important to be a good friend to Luann as well, and that the rest of the girls just need to give Lu time to come down off of her pink cloud.  Ramona’s annoyed that Sonja won’t join her in the shit talking and changes the subject.

At Bethenny’s chocolate launch, her hair looks awesome and now I’m contemplating getting that angular chop haircut but I’m scared of it looking more Kate Gosselin than Skinny Girl. I’m already a mother, the last thing I need is “I need to speak to the manager” hair.  Bethenny tells us that she doesn’t usually invite her friends to work events but she asked Carole to come.  This sounds so horrible to say, but I like SickBethenny.

skinnychocolate

I obviously don’t wish her health problems, but when she’s focused on something much more serious, it feels like she shrugs off the petty bullshit. Also- vulnerability on reality TV is like cat-nip to me.  So much of what we see on these shows feels like manufactured bullshit or shouting for the sake of shouting but when we get those moments of True Self, I can’t help but feel pulled in and invested. Bethenny is nervous about her surgery and she’s sad that she doesn’t have any family to call.  It’s interesting to me that you can be so strong and independent but when the walls start caving in around you, all you want is the love of family.

This is the third week or so where we’ve had to hear about Jules’ vagina injury.  I’m no prude and I generally love freaky medical shit, but enough already.  This is what happens when you don’t have a real storyline.  Also, Jules’ plastic surgeon has a very strong lisp and it’s distracting.

Bethenny is going to get a 2nd opinion (although she tells us she’s consulted with every Jewish doctor in New York, so I’m guessing it’s the 22,222nd opinion?) and thank god she brought Carole because Bethenny is looking for any excuse to not get her surgery.  Carole reminds her friend that doctor-shopping is never a good idea because you’ll eventually find one who will tell you what you want to hear, which isn’t necessary what you need to hear.

bethenny doctor

This latest doctor tells Bethenny that she needs to give her body time to heal itself and she recommends taking progesterone pills to try to fix the bleeding.  I know doctors will jump to surgery because they are worried about telling a patient to wait it out and getting slapped with a medical malpractice lawsuit if something goes wrong, but not getting the surgery feels just as risky to me considering that Bethenny wasn’t just bleeding, but hemorrhaging.  Medical stuff is so scary.

That said, it’s the next day and Bethenny seems to be feeling better on the progesterone, so maybe this doctor was right?  Bethenny canceled the surgery and is going to wait it out and see how the progesterone works for her bleeding.  I’m no doctor, but here’s what I do know:  It’s so important to self-advocate when it comes to your health, and you should always feel comfortable with the decisions your doctor makes so in that regard, I’m glad she seems less scared.  I’ve been hard on Bethenny this season (with good reason, I feel) but there is nothing a person can have that is more important than their health and while I’ve enjoyed the vulnerability from Bethenny during this time, I obviously don’t want anything bad to happen to her.

Dorinda, Ramona, and Carole come over to check in on Bethenny and the gossip talk turns to Luann.  With the exception of Dorinda (who talking heads that this whole conversation is so 2000 and late and that there really shouldn’t be amendments and addendums to an apology) the Bitches of UpperEastEndWick here have decided that Luann is self-absorbed and SHE CAN’T SIT WITH US!

carole ramona

Every time a person is in a new relationship, or a relationship that is progressing rapidly to the next stage, that person is going to be a little self-absorbed.  This whole conversation is so fucking catty.  Bethenny says that Luann has become “unlikeable” and I spit juice out onto my computer screen.  Not only has Bethenny been the most unlikeable cast member on the show this season, but it’s partly the way she’s treated Lu that’s made her so unlikeable.  UGH.  Bethenny’s feeling better and all of my sympathies are gone.  Dorinda says nothing because while Dorinda can’t relate to what the Bitches are saying, she knows better than to stand up for Lu, lest she become their next target.

Dorinda meets up with Luann to try and prep her for the cast dinner she’s hosting that evening.  Dorinda drops the bomb that the women have turned on Lu, who for the most part doesn’t care, but her ears perk up when she hears that Ramona has turned on her as well.  I wouldn’t care either if I were Luann.  Other than losing the bravo paycheck and exposure, why would she even want to be a part of this show?  Before she met Tom, I thought she had a real shot at a spinoff with Sonja, but they would have had to both be single for that AbFab scenario to really work.

luann dorinda

That said, I don’t think any of the girls are actually jealous of Luann, and I hate it when women jump to that.  When you say, “well, they must just be jealous”, you are dismissing yourself from any responsibility you may have in the demise of a relationship.  Luann doesn’t owe them any more apologies, but no one is jealous.  They’ve just decided that Lu is out and that’s all there is to it.  While I don’t think any of the women are jealous, I do agree that the other women don’t want to see that Luann has apologized enough.  The thing is, no amount of apologies are ever enough when you have no intention of forgiving someone.  Luann agrees to go for a drink as long as Dorinda promises to play referee and not let the women pick on her.  Also- Dorinda does a spot on impersonation of Ramona. I want to see the woman act out an episode from this season where they all play someone other than themselves.  Ramona can play Bethenny.

At the dinner, the Bitches are cordial and Carole even sits next to Luann and congratulates her on her impending engagement.  They have a pleasant conversation and Luann is happy to have someone finally ask her about Tom and seem even remotely interested.  I like Carole so much more when she isn’t acting like Bethenny’s bitchy right hand.  Sonja enters as well and I’d like to remind all of you that this is the FIRST TIME IN 14 EPISODES that all of the women have been in the same room.  Um, Andy?  This is bullshit.  Either the women are all on the show together or they aren’t.  It’s ridiculous that this is the first moment with all of them there.  No more icing people out.

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Ramona waltzes in and is furious that ladies only acknowledge her briefly before continuing with their conversation.  This upsets Ramona enough that she has to call the attention of the whole table and scold them.  Fuck off, Ramona.  Like me, Luann has had enough of this shit gets right into it with Ramona, letting her know that Dorinda spilled the beans on her.  Ramona, as per usual, goes into total denial mode.  Ramona is pissed that Dorinda is stirring the pot and upsetting the “good place” that Ramona and Luann are in.  I’d like to touch on that for a moment.  The relationship that Ramona has with Luann at this moment in time in the show is what Ramona would call “in a good place”.  Ramona, who spent the middle portion of this episode talking shit, is mad that Dorinda messed with her “good place” relationship with Luann.  You guys.  I hate Ramona so much.

Luann asks Ramona if she really believes her own bullshit.  Hearing drama at the other end of the table that she was left out of, Bethenny chimes in with her line about how small the dating pool seems to be for Luann, Ramona, and Sonja.  I don’t see the problem with that, but then I don’t slut shame or get overly concerned with other people’s sex lives.  Sonja, I honestly think in an effort to minimize her relationship with Tom, brings up the fact that they were friends with benefits for 10 years.  Luann gets upset, but not about anyone fucking Tom.  She’s frustrated and pissed off that no one in this group (save Dorinda) has been supportive or congratulatory about her relationship with Tom, and I don’t blame her.  I’m also glad that Luann makes a point to thank Carole for how nice she was.

Next week- Jules yells at Bethenny.  Looking forward to that.

As always you can find us on twitter and let us know in the comments section how you felt about the episode and how angry you are with me for taking my sweet time in getting this written.  (sorry again)

Recap written by Liz

10thoughtsblog@gmail.com

@10thoughtsblog

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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