When last we left the Charmers, Landon had just revealed that Kathryn failed the drug test that was ordered in her custody battle with T-Rav (although we already knew that) and Kathryn stormed off the stage.  The rest of the Charmers are pissed that Kathryn is delaying what I would imagine is a long and stressful day.  That said, people storm off on reunion shows all the time, so this is nothing new for us.  Landon is particularly peeved, but Landon is The Worst so that bitch can wait.

Andy asks about the failed drug test and two seconds after telling us that she won’t comment on it, Kathryn announces that Thomas did not take the same test that Kathryn took.  Kathryn accuses Thomas of shaving his whole body (body hair usually is better for hair follicle drug testing) and Andy give Kathryn the opportunity to set the record straight on anything she feels hasn’t been presented correctly this season. Kathryn tries to make it clear that ultimately she does want a custody settlement and that she does want peace.

kat peace

Kathrn feels like the amount that T-Rav was offering (somewhere between $2-3k a month, if I recall correctly) wasn’t acceptable when it comes to raising two children.  I can’t speak to this.  I guess I feel like if Kathryn had a job or was financially independent, this would be more than enough, but as she’s stated repeatedly, and as we’ve seen multiple times over the course of this show, Thomas promised to take care of her financially.  Now you may call her a fool, or a gold digger, but the fact of the matter is that promises were made.  Thomas is twice Kathryn’s age and that’s why we hold him to a higher standard.  HE should be the one to know better.  Did Thomas only say what he said to get into Kathryn’s pants?  Oh, most definitely.  But now he has to deal with the consequences of his actions, just like Kathryn does.

A viewer also asks Kathryn why she doesn’t work, but Kathryn feels like taking care of the children is her full time job and Thomas should provide for them.  Like I said last week- reunions are harder for Kathryn fans, because I really like her and want the best for her, but if taking care of the kids is her job, then why the nanny? I’m sure my son’s stay-at-home-father would love to have a nanny helping out, but he’d likely feel the need to go back to work if that were the case. I think those of us who were raised by single mothers, or stay-at-home parents bristle a little bit when Kathryn talks like that.

landonlaugh

Speaking of bristling, when Kathryn tells us about her vintage antique jewelry line, the camera pans over to Landon laughing.  Fuck off, Landon.  You made a “website” out of paper and then applauded yourself for “going for it”.  Cameran also makes a shitty face and suddenly Kathryn has the viewer’s back on her side.  I do not understand how Cameran can’t see that this is a bad look for her.  She’s smart enough to hide her personal life on this show, why can’t she figure out that an inch of kindness towards Kathryn would go a mile with the viewers?

Another viewer asks about Kathryn lying about being pregnant on WWHL.  As someone who had part of her pregnancy announced to some family members before I wanted it to be, I’d say that it’s 100% the decision of the pregnant person as to when she does or does not say that she’s pregnant.  Kathryn also sort of implies that due to her rocky relationship with Thomas, there was some consideration of ending the pregnancy, which is again- completely her business and hers alone.  Don’t tweet at me on this one, it’s an insta-block.

trav porn

Andy asks why Kathryn freaked out so much the day of the polo match and aside from Kathryn being uncomfortable with Elizabeth and JD, she saw that that emaciated, poor-man’s Johnny Depp-looking creepo was there and apparently, that guy is a porn star who Thomas has done drugs with so she didn’t want her daughter around that.  Thomas has no response to this other than to say Kat was “hormonal”.  To clarify, he doesn’t say this in a cruel way and almost seems to be sticking up for her which is always nice to see.

Also nice to see- Thomas walks back the accusations that Kathryn faked a pregnancy complication to manipulate him into cosigning on her house.  How exactly do you fake a 3 day stay in the hospital with vaginal bleeding? Andy rolls the clip of Landon in the car with Craig where she bitches about Kat using her baby to control everyone, and after it’s over Landon says that she still believes in what she said.  Can someone see if Landon can borrow RHOBH’s Erika Jayne’s “cunty” necklace?

Landon refuses to admit that calling Kathryn manipulative and “psycho”, when she was bleeding in the hospital was fucked up.  Kathryn is glad that Landon won’t apologize because she feels like that only proves what a shitty person Landon is.  Look- Kathryn is no angel, but Landon has been a royal twat all season and to not even attempt to apologize and insist on standing by her despicable comments is…well…completely cunty.  And gross.  Craig tries to clarify that Landon was upset that Jennifer Snowden called Craig to complain about Thomas when she knew Landon would be there or something.  EXCEPT THAT’S NOT WHAT LANDON FUCKING SAID.

landon smug

Speaking of #FriendJen, Thomas has decided that she is no longer a snake or a spy or a meddler or any number of awful things he called her all season because Jennifer decided to carry her pregnancy to term, despite her baby’s health complications.  Thomas has a brother with Downs Syndrome and I guess because Jen decided not to have an abortion, Thomas is cool with her now.  First of all- I’m glad Thomas changed his opinion on #FriendJen, but I’m highly dissatisfied with his reasoning, because he’s basically saying that if Jen had never become pregnant and made the choice (keyword: CHOICE) to carry to term, then he would still consider her to be a bad person.  I wish that Thomas had said, “I watched Jennifer over the course of the season and realized that she really did have Kathryn’s best interests at heart.  I regret what I said about her”, then I’d be singing a different tune.  It’s like when Leeanne Locken suddenly stopped having a problem with Brandi Redmond because her veteran brother attempted suicide.  That felt gross, and this feels gross, but like I said, I’d rather have Thomas be kind to Jen than to continue to be a raging prick, so I’m grateful for that.

#FriendJen finally comes out and I must say that Miss Jennifer Snowden looks beautiful.  Her dress is gorgeous, her hair is on point and I’d say she’s handling Andy’s questions like a boss.  Andy asks about the father of her child and instead of giving his name, Jen just replies that the father is “excited”.  Andy also tries to nail down exactly what happened between Jen & Thomas only for her to say “I’ll never answer that question about anybody” when he point blank asks her if they slept together.  Jennifer says she has no guilt about hooking up with Thomas, because it was casual and she didn’t know Kathryn was involved at the time.

jen smile

Andy asks the group if they are surprised by Jen & Kat becoming friends and Shep calls it “improbable”.  I know that the point he’s trying to make is that Kathryn has this issue with Landon who may or may not have slept with Thomas, whereas she’s friendly with Jen who most certainly did.  To that I say, maybe, just maybe, Kathryn’s issues with Landon have much more to do with how she’s treated her in general and much less to do with possibly having slept with Thomas?  Also- I’d like to bring something up that’s been frustrating me with Bravo shows this season, which is the general conception that women who have a shared sexual history can’t be friends, or that they should be some a constant state of competition.  This is unspeakably insulting and utter bullshit.  I applaud Countess Luann’s behavior right now on RHONY for not giving a shit if Sonja or Ramona have a history with her fiancé Tom.  Like she says- “anything before Lu is of no consequence”.

I know you’re here for the recap, but here’s a quick history lesson on how fellow recapper and cofounder of this blog, Kerry & I met, because it’s relevant to this situation.  Skip ahead 3 paragraphs if you have no interest.  Here goes: Kerry and I know each other because she is married to my ex.  WHAT. OMG. I KNOW. Go with me here, because if current Bravo attitudes are to be believed, I’m surely blowing your mind.  I was with my ex (we’ll call him Daniel) for roughly 5 years.  Quick stats- it was serious, we talked about marriage, we lived together, and I’ve known him since I was 11. Five or six years ago, we broke up.  It was a rocky breakup initially, but we managed to regain a friendship over the course of the next year.  At that point, I was already living in San Francisco while he was still back in Florida and there were a brief few weeks where we considered getting back together, but we ultimately decided that we were better as friends and weren’t right for each other as romantic partners.

Roughly six months later, Daniel met Kerry and he texted me the next day to say he went on a date with a “really cool dentist”.  Like I said, Daniel and I somehow managed to transition into “just friends” quite easily and I was genuinely happy for my friend of 15 years.  As his relationship with Kerry developed, even though I was across the country, it was very clear to me that she was the right person for him.  I was also seeing someone at the time (who later became my partner and father of my child), but I think even if I had been single, I would have been happy for him- we were at a really great place as friends by then and neither of us had lingering feelings.  Kerry and I eventually met when I came back to Florida to visit family, and we clicked immediately.  I thought she was really funny and cool.  She was also, by the way, not threatened by Daniel having female friends or being friends with his ex in the slightest which made it easy for Daniel and me to continue our friendship while he and Kerry were beginning their romantic relationship.  Kerry has close male friends and she understands that contrary to what When Harry Met Sally may have taught us, men and women truly CAN be just friends.  Since then, Kerry and I became closer via facebook and texting and when I became pregnant with my son, she was one of the first people I told. Kerry and Daniel are married with a son who is 6 months older than mine and I was one of the first people who knew about that as well. Later, when I was on maternity leave, I started leaving Kerry my “10 thoughts” on the latest Vanderpump Rules episode on her facebook page, and she would reply with hers, and that’s how this blog got started.

Did-we-just-become-best-friends

All of this is to say that we find it personally very insulting when people assume that just because two women have slept with the same person that they could never be friends.  I’m friends with Kerry because she’s a hilariously cool person who has a ton of similar interests as me and she’s this awesomely brilliant doctor who knows how to calm me down when I’m being a hypochondriac.  The fact that she is married to my ex is only relevant to our relationship in that that’s how we met.  So it’s frustrating for us to see that so much of the Jen/Kathryn relationship is told through the context of Thomas.  There is more to these women than that.  Much more to their friendship, and I really hope Kathryn sees how much Jennifer has tried to be there for her and that those bizarre tweets over the weekend were a momentary lapse in sanity.

Anyhow, so Shep doesn’t understand why Kathryn has an issue with Landon when she’s fine with Jen, but like I said, Jen’s made a point to be friendly with Kathryn and Landon has not.  The bottom line is that with the exception of Shep, Craig, Jen & Cooper, the rest of the charmers have sided completely with Thomas.  They seemingly do not hold Thomas to the same standards as Kathryn and it’s so. fucking. irritating.

Jennifer tries to explain that there are certain things that are hairpin triggers for Kathryn, specifically all of the pictures that Landon will post of herself and Thomas, and these triggers are not a secret; Landon knows that posting this stuff makes Kat crazy.  I agree that Landon should be able to post what she wants about her life, but you’d think out of respect for her friendship with Thomas, she’d lay off those kinds of posts since it just gets him in trouble with Kathryn.  And in that way, it does seem intentional and like Landon gets a kick out of it.  (She clearly does and you can’t tell me otherwise.)

jencry

We revisit Thomas’s repeatedly god-awful behavior towards Jennifer over the course of the season, including his ultimatum after the birth of St.J, where he made Kathryn choose sides.  This is a perfect example of why Thomas pisses me off and I give Kathryn a lot more leeway.  This was the height of manipulation from Thomas in that he knew damn well that Kathryn wanted, above all else, to be a family unit with him.  He knew that he could make Kathryn drop anyone if it seemed like they could be together.  And he also knew that Jennifer was able to see through his bullshit.  Kathryn, on the other hand, for all her strong will, leads with her emotions.  You can manipulate a pregnant or recently pregnant women into just about anything if you play on her emotions.  It was despicable.

#FriendJen is completely killing this reunion.  When Andy asks Jen if she was hurt to see Kathryn push her aside for Thomas, she admits that yes- it hurt but that if being out of Kat & Thomas’s lives would make their family unit better, she would do it.  Because she’s that good of a person.  I’m not sure she’d make a great full-time cast member, because truly decent people so rarely do (Shep being the obvious exception), but if this reunion segment has taught us anything it’s that we need more Snowden.

Before Andy finishes up Jen’s segment, she gets a chance to thank people for their current support while acknowledging that she was very much hung out to dry all season.  She had been vilified and shit-talked without cause for way too long.  Because #FriendJen is basically the best person on this show, she acknowledges that being pregnant has given her greater perspective into why Thomas was angry with her (he was worried about the health of his baby).  I think that’s a bit of a stretch and Thomas was just being a prick, but I’m no Snowden.

whitneyreunion

Andy turns our attention to Whitney for about 5 seconds before moving on to Thomas.  Here’s the thing- I don’t hate Whitney like I hate Landon.  I think Whitney created this show and it got away from him and now he’s less interested in it.  He was barely around this season and even his relationship with Larissa seems to have fizzled.  I think Whitney is over it.  But MamaPat is in deep so that Whitney has to hang around and pretend like he still cares about this show or this part of his life.  And that’s the end of the Whitney segment.  I’m surprised Andy didn’t mention Patricia comparing Whitney’s loft to an Isis prison camp, as that was easily one of the most offensive comments of the season, but I guess Patticakes wasn’t there to defend herself so he didn’t bother.

Thomas has to stop calling his dinner rants “words of wisdom”.  He just has to stop.  A viewer asks why Thomas extended an invitation to Landon and not Whitney and of course we get a repeat viewing of Thomas trying to climb out of a window.  Landon gets all pissy with Kathryn and snots at her that she “locked him in the room” which is why he had to climb out the window.  Yeah, that’s not how that happened at all.  Kat was clearly trying to understand why Thomas wanted to invite Landon in the first place and then when he flipped out she just wanted him to talk to her about it.  And she didn’t lock shit.  She stood in front of the door.  Kathryn is 100 pounds soaking wet, so spare me if you think Thomas was actually trapped in that room.  Fucking Christ, I hate Landon.  She bugs me so much more than any other person on tv.

Andy asks why Cameran even attended Thomas’s party, considering she’s worked so hard to avoid TomKat all season.  Cameran says that she was contractually obligated wanted T-Rav and Kat to prove how much better they had become.  I will absolutely give Cameran credit for admitting that she can, in fact, be sanctimonious (a word that Craig, who wants to be a lawyer, was previously unaware of).  She recognizes that because of the standards she has for herself and those in her life, she can definitely come off as judgmental.  I will applaud anyone who can recognize their faults and admit they need to work on them, so well done Cam.

cam self rightous

Landon, however,  did not see any truth in what Thomas said at the dinner party and feels she has never been catty to Kathryn.  Of course you haven’t been, Lando!  Repeatedly shit talking Kat all season and intentionally leaving her off of Shep’s bday guest list is just how Landon shows she cares.  A viewer (who I swear was not me) asks how Landon can feel as though she’s done nothing when we’ve seen her bad mouth Kathryn all season.  Landon defends herself saying that she was having a “private conversation” with her sister.  Forgive me for shouting here, but A PRIVATE CONVERSATION IS NOT PRIVATE IF THERE IS A CAMERA CREW AND IT IS LATER BROADCAST ON NATIONAL TELEVISION.  Also, as an unwed mother, Landon can fuck right off for saying that she and her sister “don’t know girls like that”.  Kathryn, of course, actually wants to be married whereas you’d have to force me down the aisle with a hot poker, but Landon’s judge-y bullshit is exhausting all the same.

So I don’t know if I stumbled down the rabbit hole and ended up in wonderland, but Thomas says the best piece of advice I’ve ever heard and I’m having trouble coping with that fact.  T-Rav says that when he flips out at these events, he’s coming from an emotional place which is dangerous and that feelings are to be felt, not acted upon.  Holy shit, right?  I mean what incredibly solid advice is that!  Now, I hope no one on Bravo heard that advice because all of our favorite shows would become boring as fuck, but I gotta give it to Thomas for delivering ACTUAL WORDS OF WISDOM.  Can you imagine how differently that dinner would have gone had he said that instead?

Andy asks Cameran how she can be so judgmental of Craig when she was on the Real World when she was 19 and hosted Girls Gone Wild in her early 20s.  Eh, I don’t care.  I believe Cam when she says that she didn’t know what she was getting into with the GGW thing and I can completely see her crying and begging the girls to put their clothes on.  Also, how she’s been with Craig doesn’t bother me either.  I think that while the nagging yet supportive behavior she shows with Shep and Craig is annoying to the viewer, she has their best interests at heart and they both seem to love and appreciate her.  I just wish she’d extend that same support to Kathryn.  I think Cameran holds women to higher standards of behavior and that’s what bothers me about her.

landon crazed

We revisit the Kathryn/Landon conflict, because literally nothing else happened this season.  Kathryn tells Landon that the things she said weighed heavy on Kathryn because she’s a mother.  Landon says (and if you sneezed, you’d miss it) that Kathryn “used [her] womb to get on television”.  I’ve heard this position from a few other Southern Charm insiders, and the truth is this- Kathryn Dennis (love her or hate her) IS this show.  If she and Thomas had not had Kensie, she still would have been on the show because she brought the most action and drama to the first season.  In fact, she’s The Show so much that the major storyline this season was “we don’t want to film with Kathryn”, and the majority of the reunion has revolved around her.  During the season proper, she got more than equal screen time and that’s with most of the cast refusing to film with her.  I think she had those kids because she (wrongly) believes that Thomas is who she should be with and she (terribly misguidedly) loves him.

Landon and Kathryn get into a pissing match about Jekyll Island, but Andy has no interest in rehashing shit that happened two seasons ago.  Landon won’t give it up and Andy claims that he is going to murder himself if she doesn’t stop.  Seriously.  He repeats “I’m going to murder myself” at least three times.  I know that both Landon and Kathryn are having this fight, but Andy looks straight at Landon when he says that, which warms my heart.  Jekyll Island feuds are so 2000 and late…

murder myself

Kathryn still believes that Landon and Thomas hooked up and nothing anyone says will convince her otherwise.  Let’s go for a minute on the theory that there was never any sex in London or after.  If that’s the case, then here’s what I think happened.  Thomas propositioned Landon (there’s no way that horn dog didn’t start this), and when Landon turned him down, he got butt hurt.  Thomas likes drama and gossip more than most Real Housewives, so when he got back, he made up a story about Landon to…I dunno…  Rile Kathryn up?  Have something to talk about?  Who knows? Kathryn, upon hearing this story, knows that Thomas has no willpower and if Landon propositioned him, then Thomas would have definitely taken her up on it.  So from Kathryn’s perspective, based on what’s been told her, what she thinks Thomas is lying about is rejecting Landon, when in fact what he’s lying about is Landon hitting on him, when it would have clearly been the other way around.

Now, as to the theory that Landon and Thomas DID sleep together- the only person who actually cares about that is Kathryn.  The rest of the cast doesn’t care.  I don’t care. And if you actually care, I highly recommend joining a book club or getting a puppy because whether or not two single people on TV slept together is really of no consequence to any of us.  I’d argue that Kathryn wouldn’t even care by now, but the lie has gone on so long that now they can’t ever admit it.  Kathryn’s the “crazy” one, right?  There’s no way Landon would lose what she thinks is the moral high ground.  Same with Thomas.  The editing of the show this season (Thomas’s innuendos, etc), Shep & Craig’s comments on it during WWHL, and most certainly Robyn’s final comment would lead us to believe that they actually did, but I’m pretty sure that secret is going to get taken to their graves.  Speaking of Robyn, other than to say the Landon-Thomas hookup rumor is all over town, they barely speak of Robyn and it’s annoying.

Anyhow, this whole thing gets beaten into the ground endlessly.  Kathryn thinks they did, Landon and Thomas say they didn’t, and I don’t care.  What I DO care about is the fact that over the commercial break, Kathryn thanked Whitney for being “decent” and he gave her a hug.  I’m telling you guys…I don’t hate Whitney.  In fact, aside from the creepy smiles and pinky rings, I’ve been a fan of his from the start.  I was frustrated with Whitney this season for being so closed off to the audience, but like I said, I think he’s over being on this show.  Kathryn’s right to say that at this point they really don’t have any reason to hate each other and I appreciate Whitney saying that he just wants everything to be okay with her and Thomas since there are children involved.  See what can happen, Cam and Landon when people put aside their differences and make even the smallest effort to be kind?

Some staffer brings out a round of bourbon (no Gentry Bourbon plug?) and that ends the season.

cheers

EXCEPT- Landon doesn’t drink and she doesn’t cheers after Shep’s toast.  Some crazies on twitter have speculated that she’s pregnant, some even craziers have said that Landon is pregnant with Thomas’s baby, but I think she was just still so pissed at the end that instead of just going with the flow, she wanted to make some twaty statement of disapproval.  I don’t think she’s pregnant because if you wanted to hide a pregnancy, you’d accept the drink, raise it, but decline to drink it.  She refused to have the glass in her hand, which strikes me as flat out bad manners.

Thanks for hanging in there with this recap, I know it’s a doozy but there was a lot to say.  And I want to thank you for reading and tweeting along with us this season.  We’d like to give a shout-out to #KingCoop and #FriendJen for being supportive Southern Charm cast members on twitter as well as all of our readers who have retweeted the recaps & 10thoughts and given us their comments.  You guys are the best.

As always you can find us on twitter and please sound off in the comments below to let us know what your thoughts were on the second part of this finale as well as the season in general.  I’m down for a MAJOR recast, aren’t you?  Seems like Cam might be on the way out, if her twitter is to be believed.  Wish her the best and I hope she comes back in a friend capacity.  I don’t care when the “friends” don’t share their lives with us so that might suit her better.

Recap written by Liz

10thoughtsblog@gmail.com

@10thoughtsblog

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