1. We pick back up where we left off with Hannah making a hot mess of the dinner service. I said this last week, but what this all boils down to is pride. Hannah is 100% the one who fucked up and really, it wasn’t that big of a mistake, but by not copping up to it and apologizing to Ben for the misunderstanding, it got blown out of proportion. Basically, Hannah is in the wrong up until the moment that Ben puts on his fancy jacket to go to talk to the Captain. I will give Captain Mark props for quickly recognizing this issue is below his pay grade. Capt. Mark doesn’t need to be involved in petty bullshit amongst the crew. I’m not sure that I agree with Hannah in that this is the “greatest betrayal of all time” or whatever hyperbolic nonsense she was saying in her talking head, but Ben going to the Captain over a bunked up dinner service is bananas.
2. Danny talking about how Hannah fucked up really burns my biscuits. He’s the last person who should talk shit about anyone. #FIREDANNY. I’d also like to say that the tip being low is probably more of a reflection of those charter guests being dipshits, rather than Hannah’s screw up. I feel like I remember them leaving a not-so-awesome tip last season, but that one would have been well-deserved since Rocky served them grenadine oysters.
3. I said earlier in the season that I didn’t feel like Julia was doing anything wrong with Bobby. I’m now rescinding that opinion. Before, it was just harmless flirting, but Bobby has made it very clear how he feels about her and what his intentions are, and if Julia doesn’t feel the same way, she needs to shut that shit down. I get that it would be a bummer to lose the relationship you have with your pal-around crew friend, but if Matty is her priority, she needs to start acting like it. If the situation were reversed, how would she want Matty to react? Sidenote- Second only to Kristina Kelly from #PumpRules, Julia has the best ass on Bravo.
4. Bryan’s beach lesson was like the worst episode of Drunk History ever.
5. Hannah and Ben hash it out and I appreciate their dynamic. They clearly respect each other and I appreciate Ben’s ability to shoulder some of the blame. Even my boyfriend who never watches these shows said “that was a really good talk. It’s nice to see grownups having productive conversations on your shows”. (The kitchen in our old house was right next to the tv room so he would overhear a lot of Housewives fighting.)
6. Danny’s got a real Daniel-san thing going on with the bandana, which I would normally find endearing, but Danny sucks. My issue with Danny is that he has zero respect for authority. I’m not saying Bryan is the best boss but on a boat there is a strict hierarchy and Bryan’s order that Danny not take sides in arguments among upper-level crew is solid. But Bryan’s delivery was, as per usual, totally wack. The trouble is, we’ve all had bosses we don’t like but you either quit or you suck it up. Or you talk back like Danny does and you get fired. Usually. Usually people get fired when they talk to their bosses like Danny does. WHY IS DANNY NOT FIRED?! #FIREDANNY.
7. I’m really proud of Julia for building a time machine, reading my 3rd thought, and taking my advice. She made it clear to Bobby that regardless of her flirty behavior, she has no intention of messing up her relationship with Matty. Bobby holds her feet to the fire a bit, telling her that she’s definitely been flirting too which was right of him to do. Julia was absolutely culpable in Bobby developing feelings for her. And in case you were wondering, no, I am not going to comment on Bobby’s mangina. I’m just not and you can’t make me do it.
8. I completely understand Jen and Danny buddying up because the enemy of your enemy is your friend, but it also make Jen guilty by association to me. Also, Danny says the word “bully” when talking about Bryan which makes me roll my eyes as far back into my head as possible because that word is so overplayed on Bravo shows. Frankly both Bryan and Danny are dipshits. Bryan acts like a less-evolved frat boy on a power trip sometimes, but ultimately he is Danny’s boss and Danny needs to at least attempt to respect him. Or take a page from Jen’s book and just keep his head down and stop talking back. Sidenote- Bryan says “ex-pecially”, which is a personal pet peeve of mine. I want Eddie back. I want Eddie and basically any deck hand from any other season to replace Danny, but preferably David.
9. I get what Danny is trying to do with the guests, and so far I actually think they’ve enjoyed it, but he really ought to be a bartender at a sports bar, not a deckhand on a luxury super yacht. I will say though that Danny is killing it with the bachelor charter guests. He’s giving them exactly what they want and Bobby is just hanging out on the sidelines. Guys like Bobby often have less game because they are so attractive and women usually just come to them. Some of the worst sex I’ve ever had has been with ridiculously hot guys because oftentimes they don’t feel like they have to work hard to get their way. Danny is short and cute, but not sexy. He has to play up his personality and “make moments” to get women. This works out in his favor in a party setting and the guests clearly appreciated it. Did I just compliment Danny? I need a shot of tequila.
10. So the next episode looks like it’s going to be baller, but I feel like this show has tricked us a few times with that. And so help me God, if Danny doesn’t get fired for telling the chief stew that she has an ugly personality…I’ll…I’ll…I’ll do nothing, because what can I really do? Stop watching the show? My best friend Tiffany is on that show, and I’m a very loyal friend. Speaking of Tiffany, there was almost none of her in this episode and that’s always a mistake on the part of the editors.
10thoughts written by Liz