Ya’ll- I do not understand why Potomac has been renewed and Dallas hasn’t.  Dallas has had way more drama and I’m pretty sure we never heard the word “etiquette” all season.  We did, however, hear a lot about poop and Charity*.  Have I mentioned before that I heard this show was supposed to be all about the Charity circuit and then they reedited it to be a RealHousewives?  This makes SO MUCH SENSE because if it were a legit Real Housewives show, Leeanne and Tiffany never would have made the cut.  Let’s get started with my #10thoughts, shall we?

*as always, we capitalize the “C” in Charity, because she is the 6th housewife in this series

1. I want to make a public apology to Stephanie for the way I unfairly judged her relationship with Travis at the beginning. I felt like they were giving Travis the Jim Bellino edit and he came off as overbearing and controlling. But people are not as one dimensional as they can seem on tv, and as we grew to learn, Travis is a complicated man who loves furs and lists and definitely loves Stephanie- who, by the way, looks great all stripped down with no makeup.  I like it when we see the housewives without a metric ton of makeup on.  I think Stephanie has also evolved on the show.  She was initially portrayed as a ditsy dummy who needed Travis’s lists to get by as a homemaker, but I’ve grown to love and appreciate her strong communication style and utter grace.


2. I said this in my life-tweet, but could everyone stop referring to their gay friends as “my gays” or “the gays”? If you wouldn’t say “the blacks” or “my Asians”, (and I really hope you wouldn’t) then don’t say “my [the] gays”.  OH! I just remembered that I had this dream where I was hanging out with Cary and Mark (super embarrassing that that’s what I dream about) and they were showing me all of their different houses, including this old victorian/colonial-looking place in Tahoe that had been turned into a bed and breakfast.  And they told me I could visit there any time I wanted, which was really very nice of them.  Thanks, DreamCary & DreamMark! Also- was anyone else incredibly frustrated that Leeanne never called Cary a home-wrecker to her face?  That’s gotta come up at the reunion, right?  I need that showdown to happen.  Cowards say shit behind people’s backs.  I know this, because I too am a total coward.


3. Ya know what I really enjoyed about TeenMomOG? How they pulled the curtain back and you saw the girls interact with the crew and acknowledge that they were on a tv show. I’d love some more of that on these Bravo shows, because Tiffany’s suggestion for Leeanne to skip the Byron Nelson party makes complete and total sense.  In no real world scenario would Leeanne show up to that party after the nightmare that was the Austin trip.  So I just really wish when Tiffany had said that, Leeanne could have turned to her and said “I’d love to skip it, but I’m contractually obligated to be there.”  Because that’s the truth, right?  Another word about Leeanne- (and I feel like I’ve made my feelings pretty clear on her this season which are that I think she is a complete and total garbage person) but she’s the only thing giving this show a shot at a 2nd season.  Her bat-shit lunacy is ratings gold and I’d like to see her (and us!) get at least one more season where everyone calls her on her bullshit before she’s forcibly institutionalized and gets the help she needs.


4. Speaking of my feelings being no secret- I have maintained a steadfast love of all things Brandi Redmond all season. I love how she and her husband have been together since middle school; I love how deeply she cares about her family and her best friend; I love how open, honest, and vulnerable she allowed herself to be without ever seeming whiny or like it was just for attention.  She’s fun and playful and if I’m ever in Dallas, I’m going to make it my mission to get drunk with her.  I’m really glad to see that she was able to patch things up with Bryan.  COMMUNICATION IS KEY, people!  I also appreciate how Bryan tried to make-good after his horrible behavior at that BBQ by trying to plan a big family event for the 4th of July.  The gingersnap kids clearly adore him and I’m legitimately rooting for this family to make it.


5.I haven’t ripped on DietColaGenericBrandKeithUrban as much as I probably would if he were a remotely shitty person, but the dude just seems so genuine and nice that it’s hard for me to say much. I will say though, that staying in Dallas verses moving to Nashville is less of a sacrifice than it may have seemed on TV.  Nashville is an incredibly tough market to break into and even if you have good contacts, there is almost no money to be made as a musician in that town.  Clubs don’t have to pay the talent because the booker could just walk outside, grab some random dude off the street, and it’s a solid bet that guy plays guitar and sings. Musicians in Nashville play for exposure, not cash.  You can make money touring or doing studio work but those RealJobs are limited. I lived there for three years with a musician boyfriend at the time and a lot of my friends are still in the scene.  For Aaron, staying in Dallas means exposure from the show (even if it gets canceled) and all major cities have a decent enough music scene to accommodate someone at Aaron’s level.  I have my druthers with Tiffany, but Aaron is a good egg and I wish him the best.  That said, even if this show runs for another 7 years, the house they look at in this episode is way too expensive for their respective salaries.  Other than the show, Tiffany runs a fashion vlog, right? (Tiffany truly is the Katie Maloney of this show…) Maybe they have money saved from their almost-famous LA days, but it seems like that house is more of a keeping-up-with-the-Jones type of place than a reasonable buy.


6. I feel like it’s fair to say that there hasn’t been a truer representation of friendship in RealHousewives history than Stephanie and Brandi. So often these shows throw women together who are barely acquaintances and expect us to believe that they actually want to spend time together.   I’m trying to think of a stronger friendship in any other iteration of this show, but I’m drawing a blank.  Tiffany and Leeanne are the epitome of dysfunctional, enabling behavior and while they do seem thick as thieves, it’s a horror show to watch.  Stephanie and Brandi are easy breezy.  Their families are best friends, their kids are adorable together, and I feel like we’d all be too lucky to have a friendship like that in our lives.  That said, Stephanie really needs to up her poop-scooping game.  At our home, we have one of those small rake pooper-scooper contraptions and it works like a charm.  The paper towel-trash bag game she is running is so low rent.


7. Sometimes the women who come on Housewives are just bored chicks looking to come out of the shadow of their husbands and other times, the women have such a clear agenda. Leeanne had an agenda.  Leeanne wants to be on the speaker circuit so desperately, and while it’s obvious that she really did touch people with her Grace Project speech, she is so far and away from being a complete person that I’d caution anyone from hiring her until she has a confirmed several months in therapy.  Leeanne is bat-shit crazy and great for TV, but she needs serious help.  And just saying “I’m working on it” is not working on it.  She needs to be seeing a licensed therapist who specializes in childhood trauma and anger management**.  My heart truly does go out to her and everything she had to deal with as a child because that sounds like a nightmare, but the fact of the matter is- while a person’s past may explain their erratic and dangerous behavior as an adult, it does not excuse it.  Sure, Brandi was being a bit of a mean-girl when she told Leeanne to her face that she needed help, but Brandi was not wrong.  Leeanne seems to think that because she had a rough childhood, she does not need to be held accountable for her actions, and that’s not right.  Also- I find it the height of hypocrisy that Leeanne thinks she can say “glitter farts” at a business meeting after dogging the shit out of Brandi and Stephanie for joking around at a charity event.  Additionally, I find it incredibly laughable that Leeanne thinks she does not live “the life of a victim” when all she does is talk about her horrific past. And lastly, unless it’s a tell-all about Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining, “Designed to Shine” is a stupid name for a book.

**the end credits tell us that Leeanne is seeing someone for anger management, thank God


8. It’s almost a bummer that the last event of this series isn’t a Charity event, since that’s been the theme all season, but I’ve now decided that the Hollman’s Byron Nelson party has superseded Patricia’s Flamingo Party as the “Bravolebrity Party Liz Most Wants to Attend”. There are multiple bars (and a secret stash of Patron), people start drinking at 8am, and Stephanie already expects her rugs to get ruined. Perfect. Effing. Party.


9. I do not understand how Leeanne and Tiffany can be so lacking in self-awareness that they truly don’t understand why the rest of the girls sided with Marie. Had Leeanne handled the situation like a normal person, and spoke calmly about how hurt she was to be betrayed like that, and called Marie out on it in a rational way, we all might have sided with her.  But instead, Leeanne when on a vitriolic tirade and screamed death threats in the woman’s face.  This is not how you curry favor with a new group of friends and the girls were right to side with Marie because of it.  Also- have you guys heard the theory that Tiffany was the one who told the poop-bag story?  I’m not sure how much sense that makes after seeing Taylor (from the A-list Dallas!) say that he was told by Marie, but it’s a fun and interesting story.  Plus, after 4 years of #PumpRules, I’m not surprised anymore by ultimate friendship betrayals.


9. You know how they say bullies only respond to strength? And that when confronted by strength, they fall apart? Leeanne Locken is a cowardly bully and a perfect example of this.  Leeanne knows she’s outmatched with Cary.  Leeanne knows that Cary is a beautiful, intelligent, successful woman who could rip her to shreds in an instant if they ever truly went head-to-head, so instead, Leeanne goes around town gossiping about the only allegedly sordid thing from Cary’s past.   “You can’t be a victim if you’re a bully,” says Cary, and she’s right.  Also, during the Leeanne/Cary confrontation, Leeanne’s hilarious complaint with Cary is that: “When I say something, you immediately say something else!” Uh, yeah bitch…that’s called a conversation.  “There are no excuses for bad behavior as an adult” says Cary, as I stand up and cheer.  MILLIONS OF PEOPLE HAVE HAD HORRIBLE CHILDHOODS AND MANAGE TO COME OUT OF THEM STRONGER AND BETTER FOR IT.  Leeanne enduring the horrendous abuse she suffered does not excuse her for screaming in Marie’s face or talking shit about Cary’s marriage all over town.

I will let Bravo give us a bonus final thought on this season with everyone’s “where are they now” updates.


tiffclose…Aaron has only released one album?  


carycloseMe too, Mark.  Hopefully you’ll let me stay in those ones like DreamMark offered to let me stay at the Tahoe place


stephclose…….like on a post-it note?  Travis leaves sexual-favor post-it notes?  Between this and the furs, Travis is the most interesting man on Bravo…


leeannecoseIf Rich knows what’s good for him, he will never propose.  #TEAMRICH


BrandicloseBrandi and Stephanie are my Forever Couple and the greatest love story ever told on Bravo.


EXCITED. ABOUT. REUNION. And I really want this show to get a 2nd season @Andy- PLEASE! I promise to ignore my child and partner every Monday night to live-tweet and help build the fan base!

10thoughts written by Liz