Will this be the week they fire Danny?  Are they ever going to fire Danny?  Will Tiffany and Bryan continue on their path to bone-town?  Is Chef Ben going to succumb to Hannah’s advances? Have you guys been watching Danny and Bobby’s super mature twitter war?  Did you guys know that after a few meme shares, Tiffany and I are now best friends?  These are all the important questions that need to be answered, so let’s get started, shall we?

We pick back up right where we left off with Danny demanding to be recognized for all the good he’s been doing.  I really want someone to slap Danny.  Drinks for everyone if that eventually happens.  Bryan reminds Danny that he is at the bottom of the totem pole, which I guess means Jen has moved up (closer to her rightful place) in his mind!  Good for Jen.  Danny is the one who initiated this conversation but just wants to get out of it now that Bryan refuses to recognize all of his achievements.

Back in the club, everyone is dancing and having a good time.  Bobby is all over Julia and says that her flirting is making it seem like she doesn’t have a boyfriend, but it looks pretty harmless to me.  Ben pulls Hannah outside to apologize for not having her back with Danny the night before.  Hannah is in the right on this one up until she calls Ben “abusive”, which he really wasn’t.  But Hannah is an emotional drunk, so I’m not sure she actually meant it.

bryantiffhow to prove you’re still a frat boy in 6 words or less…

Bryan and my BFF Tiffany are shmammered back at the boat and even the subtitles don’t know what Bryan is saying.  Things start off hot and heavy with a little bit of making out in the hot tub, but Bryan’s game is all over the place.  He loses that filter that usually stops us from saying everything that we are thinking and after telling Tiffany that he’s “thinking about fucking [her]” and asking her to “sit on [his] thumb”, Tiffany sobers up enough to realize that this is not something she wants to do.  Bryan, realizing that he is not going to be banging Tiffany like he thought (and proclaimed loudly to the other guys), turns into a total prick, calling Tiff a “hood rat”.  It’s a bad look and doesn’t help Bryan shed his “frat boy” persona.

The next morning, Bryan tells Bobby that he has no idea what happened in the hot tub, but then he makes up some story about how Tiffany wanted him but he rejected her for being too boring.  WAT.  He also tells Bobby that he’s “over it”.  Mmmkay.  Tiffany shares her (accurate) version of the story with the stews who laugh at Bryan’s frat boy behavior.  Later, Bryan snaps at Danny for not telling him that he was cleaning windows or something and Danny tries to make an ally in Jen since Bryan has been such a dick to her all season.  Jen for the most part has no interest in any of it and just wants to go home to her dogs and Starbucks.

The Captain calls Hannah, Ben, and Bryan up to discuss the next charter guests who are a father and son team (both named Allen) and their respective wife and girlfriend of 7 months.  Do you remember how when you were in middle school or high school you would celebrate monthly anniversaries with your BF or GF?  AllenSon and his GF Pamela want the crew to do something special for their 7th month anniversary.  It’s unspeakably lame.  Ben looks over the guest’s photos and likes Pamela’s “evil” look.

hannahbenSee Bobby? THIS is what sexual chemistry looks like…

Later downstairs, Ben asks Hannah out for “a few beers and appetizers”.  Hannah’s giddiness is written all over her face, but she has enough sense to wonder how Ben can go from screaming at her (eh, not really) to asking her on a date.  Hannah wants Ben to think about what he’s doing, but ultimately accepts his invitation.

The rest of the crew notes how dressed up Ben and Hannah are for “shopping” which I guess is what they told them was happening.  Ben and Hannah have, what I would describe as, the Perfect Dinner Date.  They are laughing, Hannah is flirting enough with the waiter for Ben to notice and jokingly comment on it, conversation isn’t at all stunted but flows with ease, no one gets too drunk (which has always been a personal problem of mine), and they both look really happy.  I don’t know that this was a fireworks-ZsaZsaZu-love connection thing, but it was a very sweet little outing.

The charter guests arrive and we see that they are the same guests from last season who Rocky served grenadine oysters too.  I’d say anything Ben makes will be miles better than that.  You guys- I’m so glad Rocky isn’t on this show.  Danny sucks balls but at least he doesn’t sing during his talking heads.  Hannah gives PapaAllen, WifeDanyelle, AllenSon, and PamEvil a tour of the boat.

Ben makes the guests a delicious tuna sushi roll that the PapaAllen can’t eat because of the mercury that’s in tuna.  This is the sort of thing that the guests usually put on their charts and since it’s such a big deal, you’d think the guy would have remembered or perhaps they are purposefully being dicks.  Hannah is used to being the bearer of bad news to chefs and while Ben is annoyed, he handles it well.  Just serve ‘em beef cheeks!

guesttunaPsshh…they should have just known. True 5-star service = medical history mind reading

PamEvil asks Hannah about her request for an anniversary/Valentine’s day dinner for herself and AllenSon.  Hannah relays the message to Ben, asking for a red themed dessert.  Hannah runs through her list of Valentine’s Day decorations that she needs to remember, including a bucket to puke in during service.  HA.

The guests play around with the sea-bobs (WANT) and jet skis before enjoying some cliff diving.  Jen and Danny are pissed that Bobby and Bryan are cliff jumping with the guests since Danny always gets chewed out for being too friendly and crossing boundaries.  Bobby and Bryan claim that they are just making sure the jump is safe by jumping first.  Which is a really unsafe way to test for safety… The guests head back to the boat where Tiffany has put her talents to work making delicious shots.  Hannah feels like Tiffany has really grown as a stew and takes credit for molding her into the bad-ass shot maker that she is.

Captain Mark hears a distress call from a 50ft vessel named “the Moonwalk” that is sinking fast on their starboard side.  The Ionian Princess gets in close and after the deckhands realize that their water pumps aren’t working, Capt. Mark calls for the coast guard to come out and “beach” the ship, which I think means dragged into shallow water?  Someone tweet at me the real meaning if this isn’t it…  #TooLazy2Google.  Bryan and Bobby are shocked by the hustle Danny had during the boat sinking, but I think that Danny was just trying to make a moment.

hannahmartiniHere we see Hannah who wishes it were PapaAllen’s head that she was violently shaking

Later that evening, PapaAllen orders an eSpresso martini, but he calls it an eXpresso martini.  Hannah makes it and asks Julia to find out if it’s to his liking upon delivery.  It is NOT.  PapaAllen won’t tell Julia what’s wrong with it, but insists on coming down to the galley to teach Hannah how to make a proper one. What. A. Prick. Are your jimmies rustled, or just mine?  PapaAllen heads down and watches Hannah’s second attempt. As it turns out, all he wanted was a second shot of eXpresso, which as Hannah reminds us could have been solved with a simple “can you make my martini a bit stronger, please”.

Stassi? Any thoughts?

rich people gifMe too, girl…me too.

The guests are in the Jacuzzi and can sense the sexual tension between Bobby & Julia.  They try to get Jules to kiss Bobby on the cheek but she runs off with the primary’s drink, promising to make him another one.  Later, Julia calls her boyfriend Matty to let him know what’s going on with Bobby.  It’s a tough spot to be in because she hasn’t done anything really wrong, but probably wants to give Matty a heads up so he isn’t blindsided when he sees the show.  Long distance sucks and it takes a strong couple to truly get through it.

There seems to be some confusion regarding the dinner service.  Ben refuses to make up menus for the meals, which is his prerogative, but that leaves Hannah with some confusion as to how many courses are being served and when.  Ben was planning on serving kebabs as canapés, but Hannah feels like they aren’t dainty enough for the violinist cocktail hour she’s planned.  Ben is frustrated but keeps his cool and offers salmon crostini’s instead.

The guests are very charmed by the musicians and PamEvil weeps at the sight of the love-themed table.  Ben sends up the buttered prawns dish, which I thought was the main entrée but it is being served like appetizers; which is obviously going to be a problem down the line.  Hannah referred to the buttered prawns as the “first course” which led the guests to believe there would be more coming so they didn’t even finish the course in order to save room.

bentwocourseswhen people keep calling the “main course” an “entrée”

Ben reminds Hannah that she changed the canapés from kebabs to crostini’s and asks if something’s wrong now, offering to fire the kebabs as a make-shift main course.  Hannah seems completely confused and all over the place when she tells him no, and that it’s fine.  Huh?  This seems like a really easy save if Hannah just owns up to not understanding what Ben said and letting him make the kebabs.  Hannah decides to let the guests decide, and they all agree that they would like some kebabs, so she radios down to the kitchen asking Ben to put them on the grill (that I believe he just cleaned).

Ben is pissed.  Ultimately, Hannah screwed up and is letting her pride get in the way of a smooth fix.  I think Ben is a pretty forgiving helpful guy but Hannah is refuses to take the blame on this one and also makes the mistake of saying “entrée” instead of “main” which sets Ben off for some reason.  And then the episode ends.  Huh. Seems like an odd place to stop things since it isn’t much of a cliff hanger.  WILL BEN MAKE THE KABABS?!  Yes.  Yes, of course he will and they will be great and the guests will be fine.

Looks like my recap loses about 500 words when Danny isn’t acting a fool so this was a much shorter one than the last few weeks.  Anyhow, don’t forget to follow us on twitter and tune in for Kerry’s live-tweets.  As always, we’d love to hear your comments in the twitterverse or below!

Recap written by Liz