We start off this week at the house of Craig’s former boss, Akim. I am in a committed loving relationship with the father of my son but I’d throw it all away to live in Akim’s house because I am a whore for real estate. Craig is the Boy-Who-Cried-Lawyer and Akim sees right through him when Craig says he is ready and willing to do what it takes to become a lawyer; except, you know, take the bar. Akim reminds Craig that it’s been three years since he graduated law school and employers are going to see this series of “gap years” and wonder how serious Craig was in the first place.
Like Akim, I don’t believe Craig has any real interest in becoming a lawyer. lLast time I checked, he still hasn’t taken the bar. I know he has been saying that this show is his job right now, but that’s the attitude of a Teen Mom cast member, not a grown man with an education. Maybe Craig should go back to school? I think ultimately, Craig’s dream job is Being Shep. And there isn’t a degree you can get for that, except maybe a “pe-degree” HA! I’M HILARIOUS.
Shep meets up with current squeeze Bailey at an adorable downtown café (I’m very serious about the 10Thoughts recappers/readers field trip to Charleston, btw. Everyone check with your parents and get your permission slips signed because I want to make this happen). Shep notices a cold breeze coming from Bailey’s side of the table and asks why she isn’t flirting with him. Seriously, he asks this. And coming from anyone else it would seem so icky, but Shep is a golden retriever who can do no wrong.
Bailey basically explains that what she wants is a committed relationship, and since that’s not Shep’s bag, she’s essentially breaking up with him. Shep is bummed to lose his hookup buddy, but understands since this isn’t the first time. I appreciate that Bailey didn’t walk into this situation and give Shep an ultimatum. She knows him well enough to know that what she wants, he can’t give her, and instead of pressuring Shep to be someone he is not, Bailey plans to just take herself out of the equation and move on to greener pastures. It’s exactly how a mature and confident woman would handle the situation. I love it when we get solidly good people on reality tv shows. Only as tertiary characters though…you need the crazies as your stars.
Cameran goes to meet up with her mom Bonnie who pours her a tiny, sophisticated glass of brandy (because it’s fancy and should not be served in a paper cup). Bonnie is awesome and basically tells Cam what we’ve been telling her all season- that it’s perfectly acceptable and normal to not want children. Bonnie reminds her that any fool can have a baby (true) and that no one can make up her mind for her. On twitter last night, I retweeted someone who said that this was a conversation Cam should have had with her husband (preferably before her wedding), and she replied saying that of course it was something they had talked about. She told Jason that if having a child was a non-negotiable, then she was not the right woman for him.
How does everyone else feel about social media allowing us to see the man behind the curtain with these shows now? Last week Craig tweeted that of course he had asked JD about going to LA and that JD told him to go and have a good time. Would that storyline have really suffered if we had known that? Would a line from Cameran about how she had definitely spoken with Jason about this really hurt our perception or understanding of her? Just a thought*. By the way? #TeamBonnie. That lady rocked and I wish we saw more of her.
*One of our twitter followers @bckhmlc1 pointed out that Cam DID mention this at the beginning of the season and I’m sure she’s right, I just don’t remember it and considering what a big storyline this is, you’d think it would get brought up more than once.
It’s been a rough start to this episode for Ole Sheppie. We see him completely bumble through a tour of the house he and Cam were co-listing, and while I actually think this “smart real estate agent/dumb real estate agent” bit they’ve got going is charming, Cameran is disappointed in Shep for making no real effort to study up on the house and be prepared. Shep promises to do better next time, but there will be no next time according to Cam. She ends their business relationship with a hand shake.
We all appreciate the effort Cameran, but Shepards don’t change their spots. Also, why would a guy who has mailbox money ever buckle down and get a Real Job? I think investing in a bar makes total sense and is as close to a commitment as Shep may ever get. Did you guys hear that the Palace Hotel burnt down back in January? It’s a bummer because that was going to be stop number 1 on our Southern Charm field trip.
Thomas and Kathryn head home with baby St. Julien (who will just be referred to as Julien from now on). Well, they head to Kathryn’s home where NannyDawn has been watching Kensie while her parents were in the hospital. Thomas stays for about three minutes before handing Kensie back to the nanny and promising to return later with food. NannyDawn jokes about how she and Kathryn are “domestic partners”. We all need a NannyDawn in our lives.
Thomas meets up with JD, Shep, and CreepyFriendJosh to smoke cigars and drink whiskey in celebration of the Ravenal name continuing on. I have a lot of things to say about this scene. The first of which is we find out later that Kathryn told him it was okay to go and party so I’m less upset about that now. But can someone explain to me a way in which Thomas referring to his daughter as a “derivative” is not an insult? I get that daughters often take their future husbands last names, but it feels so insulting and antiquated to hear Thomas talk about Julien as if he is the first Real Child.
Lastly, I get that circumcision can be a sensitive subject and it’s certainly a hot topic in pregnant lady message boards. I was once attacked so viciously that I had to unfollow a group all because I said I was leaving the decision up to my son’s father since he has the same equipment and knows better than I do. I didn’t even say if we decided to circumcise or not (we did), and I was called a baby mutilator. Ultimately, this is a personal decision that should be made between the parents and pediatrician so more power to you either way.
But I do have to say that it is completely unacceptable to compare circumcision to female genital mutilation. I recommend that anyone who says it is the same thing to read and listen to the stories of women who were pulled from their beds and had their clitoris’s cut off or their labia sown together only to be ripped apart on their wedding night. Check out the link below to hear one story if you don’t feel like googling, but do not come at me with any bullshit that says it’s the same thing. There are, also, medical reasons for circumcision that are valid, and the AMA’s official stance on circumcision is that the health benefits outweigh the risks, but that the benefits are not great enough to recommend universal circumcision; meaning what I said earlier about it being a personal decision.
Anyhow, the men cheers to “little uncircumcised” Julien, who Thomas hopes will be a leader of this great nation someday. I’m fine with that assuming Julien continues to be raised by NannyDawn.
Shep meets up with Whitney (The Poor Man’s Jason Bateman) for drinks where Shep doesn’t know that a lamb is a baby sheep, and not a baby goat. HA! Whitney tells Shep that QueenPat is throwing a “welcome baby” party for Thomas and Shep is invited. Kathryn, of course, is not. Shep admits that he may have screwed things up with Bailey and Whitney tries to impress upon him the importance of stability and long term commitments.
I see Shep as being similar to Cam a little with this. The thought of having a baby brings negative connotations for Cameran. She sees motherhood as meaning she will be missing out on something and we’ve all defended her saying that it’s her choice and she doesn’t have to be a mother if she doesn’t want to be. I think it’s the same with Shep. Shep (similar to the girl from Say Yes to the Dress who’s gone to 10 stores and tried on 100 dresses) feels like settling down will mean that he misses out on something or someone. And that’s okay. Plenty of people live happy, fulfilled lives while staying single and childless. And if he’s really meant to have a baby, someday the universe will give him a broken condom.
Domestic partners, Kathryn & NannyDawn, are hanging out with the kids trying to get Julien’s bassinet at the right height. Sidenote- St. Julien is actually a family name. I googled it and St. Julien Ravenel was a doctor and agricultural chemist who designed the torpedo boat CSS David in the American Civil War which alleviates my annoyance with the pretentious nature of naming a child “Saint”. Anyhow, Kathryn says that she is trying to “let Thomas be Thomas” in the hopes that the two of them can get along and co-parent better. Like us, Kathryn can see how having a son is a much bigger deal to Thomas because of the “heir” concept. I get it but it’s gross to me. #TeamKensie
Shep was conveniently driving around Landon’s neighborhood and because he hasn’t suffered enough during this episode, Landon has decided to tell him about her crush. Shep is seemingly blindsided and confused. I have a hard time believing this scene after what I heard about the producers pushing this storyline and Landon not actually being interested in Shep; although I can’t find a source for that after a basic google search so who knows.
Let’s just assume it’s not for show and she actually does have feelings for him- Shep does not return them. If anything, he seems to feel bad that he is disappointing another girl with his commitment-phobia. According to Shep on twitter, he stayed much longer than the cameras showed and they talked for a long time. Shep sucks at being a boyfriend, but you can’t deny that he seems like a great friend to the guys and gals in his life.
Lockhart Steele (the Editorial Director at Vox Media who Landon met with in NYC) is in town to hear Landon’s pitch. Landon isn’t afraid of failing, she’s afraid of not even being given the chance to fail or something like that. When last we saw Lockhart, he was making a series of awesome faces at Landon’s terribly unprepared pitch. This time, he just looks annoyed that almost nothing has been done with the development of the website. Landon has focused solely on content and not at all on the website, which Lockhart says he would need to present to investors. Landon’s disheartened but she has no one to blame but herself. This is why you shouldn’t tell children that they can be anything they want to be regardless of hard work or talent. FYI- the website is up now, except that it’s just one page asking for partners and employees and content. http://www.roam-guide.com/
Thomas comes over to Kathryn’s house to spend time with his new baby. It’s been hard to watch these scenes because they represent a clear picture of what could be if these two ever managed to get it together. Thomas talking heads that he would get back together with Kathryn in a heartbeat if every day where like this one. Kathryn feels like when they aren’t together, people get in Thomas’s ear and head and turn him against her. Thomas takes this as an opportunity to try and turn everything around on Kathryn by blaming #FriendJen for being a bad influence and a negative person in their lives. FUCK. OFF. THOMAS.
Kathryn talking heads that she can read people pretty well and feels confident that #FriendJen actually cares about her, but if it’s between her friend and the chance to have a family with Thomas, she will always pick the latter. I’m angry with Thomas for making her feel like she has to choose. Especially since there is no way he would be okay with her demanding that he not speak with Whitney for the sake of their family. This is manipulative and abusive behavior that is taking advantage of a hormone riddled young woman.
It’s the night of Patricia’s party to honor Thomas and his new baby (but not Kathryn). I know fellow recapper Kerry took issue with this, but it doesn’t bother me as much since Patricia hates Kathryn and has no reason in invite her into her home. But Thomas is her friend and a new 2nd-time father and I guess she has the right to celebrate that. Again- I take no issue with what’s happening. Yet.
Shep, Craig, Whitney, T-Rav, JD (who’s being a right prick in this episode) and some random dude named Tommy arrive and the shit talking gets underway almost immediately with JD asking Thomas if Kathryn is a bad cook, followed by everyone shitting on the “Founder’s Ball” that Cooper threw last season (right? Or was it in the first season?). From what I recall, everyone enjoyed the Founder’s ball so it seems like this is more of a dig on Cooper than it is on the event itself now that QueenP and Coop are no longer friendly.
The dinner portion of the evening ends fairly friendly enough with Patricia questioning Shep about his love life. Shep decides to tell the group about Landon’s love confession and that’s kinda not cool, right? I mean I guess what Landon said couldn’t be considered “in confidence” since the camera crew was there, but still. In a talking head, Patricia applauds Landon for going after what she wants and in real time, moves the party out to the living room for after dinner drinks.
I need to know if JD was offered some sort of bonus for stirring shit up because that seems to be all he is doing this season. For the second time, he brings up Kathryn out of nowhere, knowing that the rest of the room is not Kat-friendly and that discussion is going to turn against her. JD decides that it’s appropriate to bring up the paternity testing again and Thomas says that the first test that they got, at 8 weeks along was inconclusive. This is a party to celebrate the birth of Thomas’s son, right? Then WHY THE FUCK IS THIS EVEN A TOPIC OF CONVERSATION?
The person I’m most disappointed with is Craig who says that Thomas is the type of guy who just wants to believe that people are telling the truth and that allows him to get manipulated. And then in a talking head, Craig flat out says that he doesn’t believe Julien is Thomas’s baby. Wasn’t Craig supposed to be Kathryn’s friend? Is NO ONE thinking of this child who will have to grow up with a public record of all of his parents friends doubting if he is his father’s son? This is hateful and outrageous.
Anyhow, the next episode looks insane and I am looking forward to that I guess. That dinner party rustled my jimmies. Again, super disappointed in Craig. I get that he decided to stop sticking up for Kathryn, but did he have to tear her down? Hard. Bummer.
As always you can find us on twitter or sound off in the comments with your thoughts on this week’s episode!
Recap written by Liz