I want to apologize now for the delay we are going to have with recaps this week. My boss is back in town and he has this weird thing where he insists that I get my Real Job work done before I recap reality TV shows. He’s a real jerk. On top of that, Kerry’s son turned 1 last weekend (Happy Birthday little guy!) which means all of her family is out to visit and apparently it’s considered rude to ignore your houseguests to write about how awful strangers on the TV are. Anyhow, let’s get started, shall we?
We start the show with Whitney and GermanGirlfrieldLarissa (GGL from now on) in Whitney’s LA house. Does anyone else think this is a rental for the show? Whitney is a total slob, remember? And this place is spotless. I mean, sure I guess he could afford a maid service, but still. GGL tells Whitney, as he is making her breakfast, that men who cook are sexy. Amen to that, sister. I like GGL. She seems sweet, but matter of fact and like me, she thinks promise rings are stupid- which they are.
#KINGCOOP makes his triumphant return to the show as Kathryn’s spa day buddy. The pair have gone in for facials and Cooper asks Kat how she’s feeling with her due date fast approaching. Kathryn is excited but also nervous about taking on so much by herself. Back when she gave birth to Kensie, she and Thomas left the hospital together and were still sort of trying to make it work. With this baby, she knows she will be going home alone and that’s a really scary thought. Seriously. I have the most respect in the world for single parents who have to muck through all the early newborn stuff by themselves.
Kathryn still hopes that someday they will be able to make it work, while Cooper cautions her that Thomas is a 50 year old playboy and she needs to look out for herself above all else. It’s sound advice, but Kathryn says that she thinks Thomas is “doing his best” and she appreciates that.
Kathryn recognizes that Thomas went 50 years without having children and she thinks that he just didn’t get it together as quickly as she did. I don’t know about all that. He had the same 9 months that she had to figure it out. Cooper advices her to take her frustrations and turn them into strengths. I don’t care what the Twitter hater’s say- Cooper is a good friend to Kat and she’s lucky to have him.
JD and T-Rav drink some bourbon after a round of polo out at Thomas’s plantation home. Look, we here at 10thoughts have always been big fans of JD & Elizabeth so it pains me to say this, but JD sucks in this scene. As a woman and a mother I’m not happy with him. Basically, JD thinks that Kathryn moving the due date up has nothing to do with the fact that she’s having a high-risk pregnancy but because maybe she is trying to mess with the timeline and in fact, this isn’t Thomas’s baby. I get that as a friend, you may have some reservations, but I would have hoped that JD would have the decency to bring this up off camera. I take no issue with Thomas requesting a DNA test, especially since he and Kathryn were not exclusively together at the time of conception, but there is an actual child involved here. There is public record now that the godfather of that child’s sister questioned if his dad was really his dad. It’s gross.
To Thomas’s credit, while he agrees that “double checking” isn’t a bad idea, he says that regardless, the child is his.
edit- I read the Reality Tea recap (link after article) of Kathryn’s interview on Amy Phillips’ Reality Checked radio show where she said that they actually got a paternity test done at 8 weeks, hence the “double check” line above which just makes this scene even worse. Thomas knows he’s the father but is allowing his friend to question the paternity of his son. Gross. And there is no way that JD doesn’t already know the test was taken! I expect this out of Thomas but am very disappointed in JD.
Craig meets up with Naomie for after work drinks and dinner. Craig is excited to go on the LA trip with the boys, but tells Naomie that he won’t be back until the horse racing event that is launching the bourbon. Yikes. Obviously, this is a terrible idea and even Craig knows it because he keeps trying to poorly justify his actions by saying that he got all of his work done and JD isn’t treating him like a partner anyhow. Of course, Craig doesn’t bother to ask JD if he can go, because he knows what the answer would be. Craig seems to still be licking the wounds of his damaged ego from the bourbons tasting night. Oh Craig. Instead of taking this as an opportunity to prove your value, like Shep suggested, you are running off to LA? This is #ClassicCraig behavior and we were promised something new….
Landon and Cameran get together for a candle making class. You know what was awesome about last week’s episode? Barely any Landon. Cam feels bad for Landon because she went from being a Southern stereotype (married young, taken care of) to not having that anymore. Oh, boo hoo. Landon has been “working hard” on developing content for her online travel magazine, which keeps her out and about, meeting new people. This prompts Cam to ask if she has met anyone special, or if there’s a part of her that keeps holding back with men because deep down Landon believes she may have found what she wants in Shep. I read somewhere that Landon doesn’t actually have any interest in Shep but was asked by producers to say that she does. Is that possible? Absolutely. But it’s also certainly possible that she does have feelings, got rejected, and made up the producer story to feel better about herself.
Anyhow, Landon admits to Cam that she does sort of see Shep as someone she could really be with, and that he is everything her ex-husband wasn’t. It bothered Landon to see Shep get even slightly serious with Bailey because if he was going to grow up and be in a real relationship, she would hope that it would be with her. Landon is concerned though, that if they cross that line there’s a chance she will lose her friend. I actually doubt that. Shep strikes me as the type of guy who is perfectly comfortable with staying friendly with exes as long as they are cool about it. Cameran, who wants to get Shep married off with the desperation of a Jewish/Italian mother, tells Landon that if Shep is who she wants, she just needs to find a way to get him.
It’s time for the LA boy’s trip, and we see Shep and Craig arrive at Whitney’s house when Shep again cautions Craig to behave. Craig is understandably concerned about how their reconciliation, if there is to be one at all, will go down. Inside, Whitney can barely look at Craig and answers his questions with curt, short replies. Always one to get the hell away from drama, Shep makes a hasty exit, claiming that he needs a shower. You guys- It. Is. Awkward.
The Craig and Whitney sit down and Craig makes with the quick apology. Whitney explains that he just felt blindsided and wants to know why Craig felt like it was any of his business in the first place. Craig manages to skirt the questions by saying that he is sorry and promises to focus on himself from now on. And just like that- problem solved. Whitney tells Craig it’s water under the bridge but in a talking head he lets us know that while Craig’s apology has been accepted, Whitney is hesitant to trust him again. Fair enough. I like Whitney more when he’s in LA. I would still humbly request that he lose the pinky ring.
GGL wakes up from her jet-lag nap and she and the guys head out to cause some mayhem- LA style. For an moment, there’s a part of me that wants them to go to that club Area that the cast of The Hills always used to go to because I love reality TV crossover, but then I remember that the 10 year anniversary of that show is today and there is no way that club is still open (I checked and it’s most definitely closed). Instead of going to clubs, our male Charmers hit up a house party hosted by a friend of Whitney’s. Shep is excited to see if his southern game works on the ladies of LA, but he seems to be striking out. Whitney talking heads that the affable goofball demeanor that works so well for Shep in Charleston is not going to go over so easy out here.
Sidenote- this is the worst dressed we’ve ever seen Shep. His coat is way too big and he’s wearing what looks like a trucker hat. There’s definitely more “shit” than “Shep” here. Also- Whitney finds puke outside and Craig is excited to wake up at 11am, because he says that “normal Craig time”. But 11amPST is 2pmEST, sooooooo……where is #NewCraig?
I will tell you where #NewCraig is not, he is not in Charleston working on getting the Gentry Bourbon launch set up. JD is frustrated to hear from their liquor distributor (I think?) that Craig hasn’t been in touch with her all week and that she was waiting to hear back from him on a few things. Like all of us, JD is baffled that Craig would drop the ball on something so important, especially after how much he has talked about wanting to be involved with the bourbon business. Not only does Craig send JD’s call straight to voicemail, but his voice mailbox is full so JD is forced to call Shep.
Shep relays the message from JD, wondering why he’s involved in the first place. Craig talking heads that he’s being given all the bitch work and this trip is about cutting loose and getting away from all that. DAMMIT CRAIG. This is MAJOR character regression. I hope Naomie gave him hell when she watched this episode. Shep has never met a job he didn’t want to blow off, so he takes Craig’s word for it that everything is going to be fine. Is it just me or is Shep a little less hot in LA? It’s like he doesn’t match the scenery or something. Later, Craig orders an in-house massage and Shep promptly hits on the masseuse, striking out yet again.
Kathryn and Thomas meet up for coffee and Thomas can sense that Kathryn is scared about her impending delivery and how hard it’s going to be by herself after she gets back from the hospital. I know that #NannyDawn will probably be there too, but it’s not the same thing as the other parent. Kathryn is trying to express all of this to Thomas, with obvious fear and worry in her eyes, and Thomas decides to take a phone call from his decorator. Insert angry face emoji.
Thomas tells Kathryn that the birth of their child is really just terrible timing but that he wants to be there for her. They really should have scheduled their drunken hookup baby conception weekend to better fit Thomas’s renovation schedule. Kat tells Thomas that she needs him because he is a calming presence in her life (huh?). This scene is actually really sad. I think they are ultimately terrible for each other but watching this is making me want them to work it out.
It’s the day of the Charleston Cup which is also the day of the Gentry Bourbon launch and it is raining and cold. The Charleston Cup is a huge event, so JD is excited to showcase his family’s hooch but is frustrated, yet again, that Craig isn’t there to help. We cut to a quick shot of Craig still in bed and Naomie pestering him to get up and get ready. Jesus H. Christ. The boys on this show have egos that bruise like peaches. Except Shep. But Shep has mailbox money and a great head of hair so what’s there to ever get upset about? Of course, right as I typed that, we hear Shep take a call from Landon and he tells her that he will not be going to the Charleston Cup because his grandfather passed away. Shep’s grandfather was 94 and lived an incredible life so Shep hopes the funeral is a celebratory reflection of the great man his grandfather was. Aw. Back in Charleston, Shep is back to normal hotness levels.
Someone has rented a classy van for Landon, Danni, Craig, Naomie and #FriendJen to all take up to the Charleston Cup. I’m excited to see #FriendJen since we’ve had none of her for weeks, but we don’t really get that much from her still. Craig has “an upset stomach and a sinus infection” but I think Landon is correct in her “LA Flu” 2-day hangover diagnosis. Danni tries to drop some knowledge on Craig, as she is wont to do, but he isn’t having it. Send that boy to bed without supper.
Cameran arrives at the Cup and while she normally doesn’t drink so early in the day (really? I thought she was the cool chick…) it’s cold outside so bottom’s up! Cam asks JD where Craig is and all things considered, JD is pretty calm about it. He admits that he’s mad that he’s had to set everything by himself but he isn’t sure he wants to start off a party with yelling. JD’s Elizabeth doesn’t agree, but the trouble with man-children like Craig is that yelling doesn’t work on them. It’s like kicking a puppy for peeing on the rug. They just give you sad eyes and learn nothing.
Craig and company arrive and Craig maturely asks JD to step aside with him so that he can profusely apologize, beg forgiveness, and ask how he can help. HA. Nah, just kidding. Craig does everything in his power to avoid JD and barely makes eye contact with him when spoken to. Southern Charm producers- why are you so fickle?! Am I supposed to hate Craig or love him? Stop giving us 3 dimensional characters who have depth! JD calls everyone into the tent and begins a long round of thank yous, appropriately leaving Craig out them.
I love the horse races. In the bay area, we have Golden Gate Fields where on certain Sundays they have “Dollar Days” and everything is $1- parking, admission, hot dogs, BEERS- it’s a good time.
JD finally confronts Craig who is still trying to sell his “I’m sick” story which may have been more convincing if he were drinking water or tea, but the guy has a full glass of bourbon in his hand. I mean, I drink when I’m sick too, but not in front of my boss. JD doesn’t take Craig to task as much as we all probably want him to but the silver lining in all of this is that Craig now feels motivated to move forward with taking the bar and becoming a lawyer. Has he taken the bar yet? Last I heard he missed the February test date…
Thomas comes over to Kathryn’s house the night before she is going to be induced and once again, it’s sad to see them getting along so well when we know how bad things are now. Thomas is excited to be meeting his son soon and talking heads that he had always planned to have a big family instead of a big empty house. Kathryn is happy with how well she and Thomas are getting along right now and asks him to just ignore her if she says anything mean or hurtful tomorrow because she’s just nervous. They share a sweet moment where Thomas promises to be there for her as much as she wants. Seriously- the whole thing is really sad.
The next morning, Kathryn wakes up at 4:45, pours herself a bowl of cereal and waits for Thomas to arrive. He gets there and they are both nervous and excited. We see them hold hands in the car on the way to the hospital followed by a black screen that comes up telling us that 6 hours later, their son was born. They name him St. Julien Rembert Ravenel which is a fairly pretentious mouthful. It’s a Grand name as my great aunt would say. And that’s it for this week. It was a pretty uneventful episode but next week looks like it should be better. And by “better”, I mean Cam revisiting her “I don’t want to have a baby” storyline with her mother who tells her what we’ve been trying to say all season long- there is nothing wrong with not wanting children. We also get a room full of Thomas’s “friends” slut shaming the mother of his children, so that should be fun and rage-inducing.
As always, you can find us on Twitter but there won’t be any live-tweets this week due to Kerry’s familial obligations and my Real Job. Hopefully things will pick back up next week. Let us know what your thoughts were with your comments and tweets!
Recap written by Liz
RealityTea.com’s recap of the Kathryn Dennis interview :