Thanks for joining us on twitter last night, and my apologies if the sass factor got upped a bit too much.  My train got delayed by a couple of hours and did you know they serve booze on Amtrak?  Many train beers were had by yours truly.  If I remember correctly, most of my arrows were pointed at Leeanne Locken from #RHOD, but the whole evening is a bit fuzzy.  Let’s get started, shall we?

We pick up right where we left off from last week with Craig dropping truth bombs on Whitney and the rest of the Charmers.  Cam and Whitney start FREAKING. OUT.  Cameran demands that Craig retract his statement while Whitney insists he only slept with Kat one time.  Craig keeps asking valid questions only to have Whitney spin his wheels, furious that Craig is believing Kathryn over him.  Cameran just makes a series of stank faces.

Cameran reminds Craig that he called Kathryn a whore to her face two years ago, which is true but they are friends now.  I’m a little disappointed to see Craig deflect by saying this is just payback for Whitney calling Craig out in front of his parents.  Defending Kathryn because you are friends should be enough of a reason to say what Craig is saying.  Whitney is losing it and keeps calling Kathryn a liar.  Shep talking heads that it gives him pause to watch Whitney so adamantly deny these accusations.   Mmmhmmm!

Craig keeps asking Whitney a basic simple question- what is it that Kathryn did to offend you so much? But he never really answers it- Whitney just keeps repeating that Kathryn is lying crazy whore with two kids out of wedlock.  What year is it, again?  Naomie disappoints me when she asks Craig to stop, but I get it; people yelling can be stressful and it doesn’t look like this fight has the chance to end on a good note.  Whitney really shouldn’t have talked shit about Craig’s steaks (which I will remind you, looked delicious).  Whitney storms off, insisting that this has “affected [their] friendship”.

Quick question- since when are Whitney and Craig actually friends?  I know they were friendly the first season, but that all went super south in Season 2 and I haven’t seen Whitney have one genuine friendship moment with Craig since.  Whitney consistently picks on and belittles Craig, for no apparent reason, and Craig was right to be pissed about that dinner at his parents.  I’m not sure it needed to get brought up in this context, but Whitney has had almost zero screen time this season, so maybe Craig did him a favor.

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Craig looks smug and talking heads that Whitney going around being a bully and picking on people was bound to bite him in the ass eventually.  The rest of the group sits in stunned silence except for Cameran who tells Craig he should be ashamed of himself.  We’re all completely over Cam at this point, yes?  Yes.  Cameran asks Craig if he has ever seen Whitney be upset over a girl (!) and if he really thinks Kathryn is going to be the first one who does that too him?

A word about the veiled comments made all season regarding Whitney’s sexual orientation.  I don’t really care one way or the other but if he is gay, I hope he has the strength to accept his true self and can manage to live happily ever after.  I wouldn’t even bring this up, but between a few choice tweets that Cooper has sent** and some brief innuendos this season (which I will be noting with an “!” from now on), could there be more to the story here?  As friendly with the LGBT community as Pat may claim to be, she is still old southern money* and bad habits and prejudices die hard.  Not to mention, Whitney is her only child and only shot at a grandchild.  Not that gay couples can’t and don’t have children, but even in a moderately progressive town like Charleston a gay son could be a tough egg to swallow.  Totally just a fan theory I’ve heard bouncing around out there, don’t angrytweet at me about it…

*EDIT- Twitter user @Haehlkathleen reminded me that Pat is neither Southern Old Money or Old Money in general.  Due to the many airs Miss P puts on, I momentarily forgot this…

**The one and only #KingCoop reached out to say that he never meant to insinuate that Whitney is gay, adding that if he were, he would be self-aware/rebel enough to be true to himself.  

As previously stated, this is only a fan theory that’s bounced around for a while so I thought I would address it.  The cast of the show certainly know Whitney better than any of us do so it’s the last time I will mention it.

This theory, of course, changes the dynamic of Whitney and Kathryn’s relationship, but I think Cam’s right.  I don’t think Whitney was upset over losing the girl, but I do think he was upset over losing in general.  It was a pride issue, not an unrequited love problem.  When I was in the 6th grade, Dennis K asked me to be his girlfriend.  For whatever reason, I said no and he lost it.  He was instantly very cruel to me and even started a club called the “LSL” aka the “Let’s Slap Lizzie” Club.  He printed out signs from his computer and put them around the middle school.  It was a completely overblown reaction to what was, if I remember, a polite rejection.  All of this is to say that Dennis and I are good friends now and I look forward to meeting his boyfriend next time I visit them in NYC.

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Anyhow, back to the show.  Shep is over it and goes to grab champagne (because every moment of Shep’s life is worth celebration, even the awkward ones).  Cameran is still in disbelief over what just happened but Danni brings up an excellent point.  Why does the group forgive Thomas but blast Kathryn?   Thomas has made equally as many public scenes, Thomas was an active participant in creating those “out of wedlock” children, and yet none of them give him shit for it.  It’s total hypocrisy and I’m glad Danni said something.  I am bummed though, to see that Elizabeth says nothing.  It’s definitely possible that this is due to editing and I will choose to believe that’s why because otherwise her teary reconciliation with Kat a few episodes back is going to ring false for me.

Craig comes into the kitchen after Shep, trying to keep the conversation going.  Shep does not have any fucks left to give and just wants to find the damn champagne and for everyone to stop shouting.  He repeatedly and hilariously shhh’s Craig and tells him to stop because everyone is mad at him.  I’m not.  The viewers are not.  Good for Craig!  Shep is drunk but manages to pull together a bottle of bubbly and what looks like a cheese plate?  He talking heads that while he too wants to bring Kathryn back into the fold, this is not the time or place for it to happen.

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Cam snots that she’s lost 30 points of her IQ score just from listening to this conversation and demands that Craig apologize to Whitney.  Why?  Why does Craig need to apologize for this?  Craig says that even if he apologizes, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t believe Kathryn’s story.  Cameran calls Whitney back out onto the couch and Craig says he’s sorry if he upset Whitney (that’s the first time in reality tv history that an apology with the word “if” in it hasn’t bothered me), but he’s always felt like there was more to the story.  Cam and Whit gang up on Craig, calling him a moron and saying if he truly believes what Kathryn said, then they don’t know him anymore.

Everyone goes to bed except for Naomie and Craig.  Naomie is PISSED.  Naomie is pissed because Naomie is a real person who forgot that she’s on a reality tv show.  She doesn’t understand why Craig had to corner Whitney and confront him in front of all of them, ruining their night.  Oh sweet Naomie- Craig may have ruined your night, but he made ours.  Craig talking heads that he knows what he did was right, and even if standing up for Kathryn gets him blackballed in the group- Craig believes that you should always stand up for people who need it.

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Early the next morning, Whitney, Cameran, & Landon are all on the porch and Whitney says he woke up angry.  Whitney and Cameran have decided to leave early because they are both poor sports.  Cam talking heads that she and Whitney have grown very close over the last few years and that while many people see Whitney has this emotionless guy with a tough skin, deep down he’s actually very sensitive and cares greatly what other people think of him.  That, I agree with.  Whitney is ridiculously sensitive, and spoiled, like all only children all.  Cameran says that this group has been her “circle of trust” but that Craig is now well outside the circle.

Out of the mountains, and over to Kathryn’s house, we see her with the nanny and Kensie, trying to get Kensie to keep a bow in her hair without much luck.  Kathryn calls Thomas to tell him that she will be induced in 11 days.  Kat’s doctors have decided to make the birth as controlled as possible, and due to Kathryn’s high blood pressure, this is considered a high-risk pregnancy.  Thomas is actually relieved, because he says that his top priority has been the health of his baby.  Sure, that makes sense, but it would also be nice if he would say he cares about the health of his baby’s mother as well.  T-Rav says he is excited to meet his son.

Back in North Carolina, Shep and Landon are in the kitchen and Landon utters the funniest line I’ve ever heard on the show when she tells Shep, “you know me, I don’t like the drama.”  I’ve only ever heard one other person say that to me, and that person happens to be the single most dramatic man I’ve ever known in real life.  This is a man who currently has me blocked on facebook because I jokingly suggested to him that he should stop publically ranting about how much he hates the current Radiohead album (there were at least three separate posts about it).   Fuck me, right?  Anyhow, never trust a person who emphatically tells you they hate drama.

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Craig and Naomie join them in the kitchen and we learn that everyone else has gone home, or as Landon puts it – “fled”.  Craig talking heads that its childish guilty-person behavior to abruptly leave like that, but I guess everyone was leaving that day anyhow and Whitney and Cam just got a jump on things, so I don’t know how much of a statement that really made.  One more thing I would like to point out about all of this: can you think of any other reality tv show where there wouldn’t be a camera in Whitney and Cam’s car for their conversation on the ride back?  Whitney either needs to go off camera completely as a producer on this show, or start being more transparent.

Back in Charleston, QueenPat is showing up at Whitney’s downtown loft unannounced (although Whitney had to know the film crew was there for a reason, since “watch Whitney play shitty guitar” is no reason to call Action).  We get a quick look around Whitney’s gorgeous, beautifully decorated (!) loft as QueenPat denounces the place, saying it looks like an ISIS prison camp.  And that, my friends, is exactly how you get the audience to turn on you.   It’s not cute and it’s not funny.  What it is, is unspeakably rude, belittling to the majority of the audience who will never live in a place so nice, and over all, highly insensitive.  Fuck off, QueenPat.

Patricia asks Whitney about the trip and he gets visibly upset.  Whitney refuses to speak about it, and Pat talking heads that Southern WASPs (white anglo saxon protestants) don’t talk about their feelings.  Do we see now, why Whitney is so fucked up?  Patricia moves the conversation along, asking him what’s “next on the agenda”.  Whitney is headed back to LA where he will get to spend time with model girlfriend Larissa.  Every time Whitney talks about his relationship with Larissa, he gets this weird tone to his voice and plasters the creepiest fake smile onto his face.

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Also worth noting- Whitney is planning a “Boy’s Trip” (!) to LA and Craig is officially off the guest list.  Speaking of-

Thomas calls #NannyDawn because he is trying to track down Kathryn so that he can set up the changing table.  Thomas has called Kat multiple times but she isn’t answering.  Dawn tells T-Rav that Kathryn is upset about Whitney’s “boy’s trip”.  Thomas is shocked, since Kathryn isn’t being induced for a week, why should he stick around?  ASSHOLE.  Kathryn has a high risk pregnancy that is resulting in an early induction.  If it were me, I’d ban all travel for at least a month.  And people yell at Kathryn about her lack of priorities?  Thomas talking heads that Kathryn is acting crazy and illogical.  My jimmies are rustled so hard right now.  Serious credit goes to #NannyDawn for sticking up for Kathryn here.  This was yet another situation that could have been avoided, and I’m glad she told Thomas that.

At Craig & Naomie’s house, Craig makes them both some tea and says he is going to get lunch with Cam later.  He is hurt that Cameran stuck up for Whitney so vehemently, to the point of putting down Craig.  Naomie says that she’s never seen Whitney so hurt and vulnerable, but I agree with Craig that if Kathryn had been lying (and since we saw the video, we know she isn’t), Whitney wouldn’t have reacted like that.  I’m disappointed that Naomie is so adamant about Craig putting this whole thing to rest.  Craig talking heads that he still believes what he said, but it’s not worth losing two friendships over it.  Eh….how good of friendships were these in the first place?  I know all the guys think Cameran is their buddy but she’s kind of a shitty, judgmental friend to them.  I get what they are saying though.

We head off to LA with Whitney and get to see his beautiful mid-century modern LA home (Tiffany from RHOD would love it).  He talking heads that there really isn’t much keeping him in Charleston except for his mom and you know, that TV show that he insists on being on even though we all hate him.  Thomas gives him a call to break the bad news- he won’t be leaving Charleston during the last week (THE LAST WEEK, PEOPLE!) of Kathryn’s pregnancy.  But instead of just telling Whitney that he is putting his family first, Thomas throws Kathryn under the bus, saying that the idea of the trip got her into a “tizzy”.  BECAUSE OF COURSE IT DID.

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Whitney doesn’t understand why either of them care at all since they are not together and I immediately pray to the great spaghetti monster that Whitney never has children.  Or a dog.  Or even a house plant that he needs to think about.  Thomas feels manipulated.  THE MEN ON THIS SHOW!  UGH. (Apologies to #NewCraig, Shep and Michael the butler for that last statement).  Also- Whitney says he hates Kathryn because she messed up his relationship with Thomas.  Um, I’m pretty sure the stress of Thomas’s campaign and firing Whitney has a campaign consultant was what hurt their friendship.

Craig and Cameran meet up and it’s immediately awkward, even though Cam calls Craig “Buddy” when she first arrives.  Cameran has Bitch-face on and sits silently waiting for Craig to make the first move.  Craig says that he’s just trying to figure out what the residual effects were from his “accusations”, as Cam calls them.  Cameran guilts the shit out of Craig by saying that Whitney is just so hurt and sad that Craig would take Kathryn’s word over Whitney’s.  I think Whitney was just butt-hurt that someone finally called him out for his bullshit.

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Cameran talking heads that Kathryn is a “hot button” for Whitney, not because he has the hots for her but because he doesn’t like her.  Cam says this isn’t that hard to understand.  Um, no.  The question was WHY Whitney has such hatred for Kathryn, so saying that he just doesn’t like her isn’t the answer.  Now, Cam, is that so hard to understand?

Back in LA, Whitney calls Shep to tell him that Thomas won’t be joining them but Shep has no interest in going on a solo trip with Whitney so he suggest that Craig come along to bury the hatchet.  Whitney says Craig is just annoying now and talking heads that if Craig is going to make things right, he needs to get on all fours (!) and apologize.  Shep tells Whitney to “be the bigger man” and to invite Craig out with the hope that Craig knows better than to insult Whitney in his own home.

Craig comes over to Kathryn’s house to check in on her.  Craig tells Kathryn about Whitney’s meltdown in the mountains and Kathryn isn’t surprised.  Craig calls the look on Whitney’s face “panic”, and he’s exactly right.  I was trying to figure that out, so thanks Craig!  Craig tells Kathryn that he is dropping his crusade on her behalf because it feels like a lost cause with Cam and Whitney.  This looks like it wounds Kathryn momentarily but she bounces back quickly and thanks Craig for sticking up for her as much as he has.  I know Cooper was pissed about this on twitter and called Craig weak, but I don’t agree.  Craig doesn’t need to ruin his own relationships by being a one-man Kathryn army forever and he was man enough to come to her and let her know what’s going on.  I applaud that.

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Larissa shows up to LA and leaps into Whitney’s arms.  She keeps planting kisses on him and he just giggles awkwardly (!).  Every time Whitney calls Larissa “baby”, I get really uncomfortable.  Larissa seems like a very nice girl and Whitney talking heads that he has been in love many times but they usually don’t go for him.  Becoming a mother has clearly softened me because I actually felt sad for Whitney for a sec.  Poor little rich boy.  Oh God.  Whitney wrote Larissa a song call “I love you, I love you so fucking much”.  It’s basically a bad Elvis rip-off.  Whitney plays the guitar SO AGGRESSIVELY!

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Craig heads over to the Palace Hotel to see Shep and check in with him after the mountain trip.  Shep tells Craig that it takes a lot for him to lose friends and so while their friendship is not broken, it does now have a dent.  Shep talking heads that men will just drink shots all night and fight out their problems but that women have it much harder (!).  Craig is excited to hear that Shep has been working behind the scenes and has secured his spot on the LA trip.  Craig says he would never cause a scene in Whitney’s home (like Whitney did in Craig’s parent’s house), and Shep tells him that he is in charge of Craig for the weekend.

“Monday night football is the best excuse to drink on a Monday night.”  ß this is why we all love Shep.

Thomas comes over to Kathryn’s house to set up the baby furniture, and NannyDawn hightails it out of there, taking Kensie to the park.  Thomas is all business as he tries to put together the changing table, while Kathryn keeps trying to get him to talk to her.  Finally, she decides on baiting him by bringing up Whitney.  It’s not the smoothest of moves, but I can see why she went there.  Kathryn tells Thomas that she’s hurt that Whitney is still able to cause problems between them and asks what the trip to LA was for anyhow.  Thomas says the trip was to “celebrate the birth of [his] child.”

/cue rage face from Liz/

This is it right here.  This is why we hate Thomas and are on #TeamKat.  Why would he say that to her?  Why would he try to spin the LA trip into something that had anything to do with their child?  It’s low, it’s manipulative and it’s childish bullshit.  Fortunately, Kathryn is smart enough to see through this and says she knows exactly what a trip to LA means.  Kat tells Thomas that they are finally getting to a place where they are able to co-parent and she’s disappointed that Whitney still has influence over Thomas.   She says that Thomas needs to be around people who want him to be the best version of himself.

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Kathryn is in the last week of a difficult, high risk pregnancy.  She just wants the father of her child to be as keyed in and invested as she is, and I don’t think that’s too much to ask.  Give us your comments on this week’s episode and don’t forget to follow us on twitter!

EDIT-  I have been informed by Shep Rose via twitter that I am “fantastically wrong on several key points here” and have been cautioned by him that “There’s 3 sides to every story. careful backing anyone to heavily. Especially those espousing silly theories.”  I will stand by everything I said, however, because that’s how I’m seeing it on TV now.  I take my reality TV with a grain of salt and have never been one to believe that what I seen on the screen should be taken as Gospel.  Ultimately, my major complaints with his pals, Cam and Whitney come down to a lack of transparency this season.  I will remind you all that I’ve always really liked Cam and Whit, but have grown impatient with them these last few weeks because we only see drips and drabs.  It all feels very calculated.  We’ve been told several times by Landon that she will be redeemed later on this season and I’ve always said that the second Kathryn and T-Rav can start getting drunk together again, the wind is not going to blow quite so heavily in Kat’s favor.  Like you, I will have to wait and see.  I trust and respect Shep’s opinion and he actually lived it so he certainly knows better than I do, but all I have to go on is what they show me, right?  I look forward to seeing more and developing a broader picture of our favorite Charmers.

Recap written by Liz 

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