First off- a big thanks to Kerry for manning the live tweet last night, I hope you all were able to join her!

We pick this episode up right where we left off, with Bryan telling Hannah that she shouldn’t be having heated conversations with Tiffany right now because they are both absolutely wasted.  Hannah is pissed because she feels like Bryan shouldn’t talk to her like that, failing to see her own hypocrisy that she probably shouldn’t talk to Tiffany like that either, since technically with boat hierarchy, Bryan is a higher rank than her.

Ben comes over to try and break things up and I’m instantly reminded that I had a dream about ChefBen last night.  I was working on a boat, but my baby was there too?  And I was trying to get my boyfriend a job as Ben’s sous chef because he is also a great cook.  Ben was as equally hot in my dream as he is on TV.

Uh oh, Danny brought home girls to the boat.  I get that Danny is new, but how much experience do you have to have to know that you can’t bring home random bar floozies to the super yacht that you DO NOT OWN?  Did I miss that episode of Downton Abbey where a footman brought home two tavern wenches and showed them around the manor house?  What’s REALLY confusing to me is the Bryan and Hannah (and even Ben) aren’t shutting this down immediately.  You know Eddie from BelowDeckOG would never let his deckhand get this far out of line.


Hannah decides that since Bryan wanted to pull rank on her earlier, she isn’t going to pitch a fit about Danny bringing ladies back, and figures Bryan should take care of it.  Unfortunately, Bryan dropped the ball so Hannah drunkenly goes off to “handle it”.  This goes much better than I expected.  Hannah gives the group 5 minutes, and aside from a slurred “this is MY boat”, she’s pretty respectful about it.  Danny immediately clears the drinks, says he would never want to jeopardize his career, and escorts the women from the boat.

Down in the kitchen, Ben has made some sort of octopus dish that looks amazeballs.  I don’t typically eat octopus because it makes me uncomfortable to eat animals that can solve puzzles faster than I can, but I would make an exception for this dish.  Bryan apparently didn’t realize that there were girls on the boat (really?), but he plans to let the captain know what happened and will stick up for his crew when he does it, saying everyone makes mistakes.  Do you think he would stick up for Jen if she brought a lady home?

The crew all wakes up looking less-than-fresh: Tiffany doesn’t remember the details of what was said between her and Hannah, but is pretty sure they aren’t on great terms today; Hannah tells Julia that she can’t play favorites (huh?  Yes she can- and Julia is the 2nd stew anyhow, so it’s not like she and Tiff have the same rank) and Julia talking heads that for her, a ChiefStew with high standards is the norm, so Tiffany needs to pick up the pace.  I swear to God, you guys- I would have been a bomb stewardess.  I love tedious menial repetitive tasks and I’m good with authority.  Danny also asks Jen if she is going to make a move on Hannah, but Jen recognizes that Hannah is straight as an arrow.


Bryan approaches the Captain to “confirm his policy” on onboard guests.  The policy, of course, is no guests allowed, and while Bryan may have thought it was no big deal, Captain Mark sees it differently.  We all agree that Captain Lee would have fired Bobby and Danny for that, right?  And possibly Eddie for even letting it happen?  Captain Mark is a nice guy, but maybe a little too nice.  Bryan asks to be the one to break the news of Capt. Mark’s disappointment, but Mark thinks more than a slap on the wrist is required for this and says he will speak to Danny and Bobby himself.

Danny and Ben spend some time bonding in the kitchen, and Ben talking heads that he likes Danny and thinks he’s an underdog.  Ben likes underdogs and vows to “protect him”.  In the laundry room, Hannah approaches Tiffany but doesn’t mention their altercation at all, which Tiffany is totally cool with.  She talking heads that if Hannah wants to sweep things under the rug, that is just fine with her (SEE, EILEEN?! NOT EVERY ISSUE MUST BE RESOLVED RIGHT THEN AND THERE!)

Bobby and Danny get called into the wheelhouse by Captain Mark, and Bryan is there as well.  Capt. Mark is disappointed and definitely upset when he hears that the stranger girls were served some of the boats liquor.  The boys are assigned an extra shift of work and this is “strike one” for both of them.  Capt. Mark is mad that Bryan didn’t know that the guys were drinking the boats liquor and wasn’t able to relay the full story to him.  To Bobby’s credit, he talking heads that he never expected Bryan to cover for him and that he was prepared to “get [his] licks, whatever they may be”.  See, Jen?  That’s called taking responsibility for your actions.


Capt. Mark calls Hannah, Ben, and Bryan up to the wheelhouse to give them the skinny on the new charter guests.  A hooters-esque restaurant (Tilted Kilt) has chartered the yacht to use for a photo shoot for their waitresses who will be wrangled by a sort of “den-mother” (also the Primary),.  Bryan is excited to tell “the guys”, but Capt. Mark reminds them all that they are not there to fraternize with the guests.  Hannah snots a little in her talking head, saying that she’s used to “high end charters” and so guests like this are easy since they don’t know what to expect and would never notice if something went wrong.  The guests have requested a sushi dinner the last night and Ben is thrilled because while sushi is clean, contained, and impressive- it’s not actually that difficult to do.

Bryan shows his crew the info sheet on the guests, and Bobby and Danny start acting like those horny wolves from Looney Toons (see .gif below).  Jen looks on with disgust and talking heads that the way to get a girl is to not pay attention to her.  Bryan reminds the guys that they are not to fraternize with the guests.  Oh, and you should know that the three dudes are calling themselves “the wolfpack” now, which is stupid, but also makes my .gif funnier.


Danny skypes with his mom, who says she misses him because Danny is the fun one in their house.  Danny’s dad is an alcoholic (which makes him the “not fun” one) and so Danny has been responsible for his whole family for a long time.  His mom received the money he sent to her and he starts to cry.  And then I start to cry because to me, crying is like yawning and if you cry, I cry.  Danny’s a good egg.

Hannah, Julia, and Tiffany meet up and plan their meal and cocktail service.  Because these aren’t high-end clients, Hannah is letting Tiffany run a lunch service with her, which is the right call because Tiffany needs experience beyond cleaning and laundry, and a low stakes lunch is the way to get it.  Bryan divvies up deckhand assignments, pulling Jen aside afterwards asking why she looks so “disconnected”.  Jen tells Bryan that she just woke up, sooo….Bryan’s suggestion to her is to wake up earlier.  Again- I think Jen has a right to be pissed, because Bryan pretty clearly favors the guys on his crew even though Jen has far more experience.  But Jen also walks around with a pretty sour attitude, so it’s really a toss-up.


The charter guests arrive and I believe that we will all look back fondly on 2016 as the year that Bravo brought hula-hooping back into the mainstream.  Hannah tells us that this isn’t the first time she’s had charter guests who were beautiful with heads full of hair extensions, but those women were prostitutes, not sports bar waitresses.  The girls coo over Hannah’s “adorable” accent and ask if she brought them a koala bear to play with.  It probably feels weird to cater to someone who makes decidedly less money than you in a year.  Bryan gives Jen shit for not standing up straight and I’m starting to turn here in my feelings on this dynamic because yes, Jen’s attitude can suck sometimes, but Bryan is being a bit of a dick.  My attitude sucks too when my boss is a dick.

Ben brings the lunch out personally to the ladies, because of course he does, and one of the guests when asked by Julia if she would prefer sparkling or still water, asks what the difference is.  Oh, my.  This isn’t a “never been on a yacht” problem- it’s a waitressing problem.  Waitresses should know the difference between sparkling and still water.  Even sports bar waitresses.

The Tilted Kilt Girls (TKGs, from now on) are all in their plaid bikinis getting ready for a photo shoot while Danny gets his flirt on with one of the blonds, Morgan.  Hannah is told by one of the TKGs that it’s the Primary’s birthday tomorrow so they would like to do something and asks if Ben can make a cake or a “cupcake”, which is precious.  Ben is not a pastry chef but always welcomes a challenge, saying that every time he makes a cake he learns something new. The photographer, a boisterous man named Panos, arrives and the deck crew helps set up the furniture and props.

Danny is acting like he just got out of prison and hasn’t seen a women in years.  He is giddy from all of the lady parts around him and starts shirking his responsibilities because he’s too busy flirting with Morgan about astrology and fire signs.

Bryan keeps reminding his crew to keep things professional; except for Jen who doesn’t need that warning and thinks the guys are pigs (they are).  At dinner, the girls don’t know how to eat crawfish and I can’t judge them for it because I suck at that too.  The Primary asks Morgan what’s up with her and Danny before deeming Bobby as “hot, for real though”.   Danny feels like he made a really deep connection with Morgan and thinks it’s so cool to have met a girl with “that kind of energy”.  Jen’s response to this:

most waitresses

Well played, Jen.

Another funny thing to note- Tiffany is having a hard time sleeping because she can’t drink before bed.  Ha!  Alcoholism cracks me up.  Jen is frustrated with the way Bryan acts towards her and is homesick.  Jen’s been working on yachts for a long time, and it seems to me like she needs a break.  7 years is a lifetime to be out at sea and maybe a year or 6 months at home with her dogs and local starbucks would be the refresher she needs.  That said, I think Bryan could manager he better.  They both need a come-to-Jesus moment.

The TKGs are really sweet.  Three of them ask for some of the left over salmon and are blown away by the spread that Ben makes and Hannah delivers, saying they would have been happy with a fork and the blow of leftovers.  Their heads are full of hair extensions and their hearts are full of home-spun goodness.


Capt. Mark goes to bed, leaving the boat in the usually capable hands of Bobby and Danny.  I say “usually” because Danny has put aside his nightly chores to flirt some more with TKG Morgan.  His lines are vague and straight out of a bad movie: “I’ve never met anyone like you” and “I like your vibe”.  Bobby calls Danny out for his behavior and tells him to get his shit together because the boat is a mess and they have a long day ahead of them tomorrow.  ChefBen has also noticed Danny’s behavior and thinks he’s gone from “underdog” to “lapdog”.

All of the guests and crew have gone to bed except for Danny, Hannah, and three of the TKGs including Morgan.  The problem with this is that the only reason the TKGs are awake, is because Danny keeps talking to them, which rightfully pisses Hannah the fuck off.  She calls him into the kitchen and sweetly reminds him that he is the reason they all can’t go to bed and it’s 2:40am and dammit, Danny this isn’t cute anymore.

Bobby rats out Danny’s behavior to Bryan (as he should) and Bryan decides to go ahead and wake Danny up.  It’s 9:38am and Danny hadn’t started most of his work by 3am so I’m guessing he hasn’t caught much shut eye.  Legally, I believe that Danny is required to get 7-8 hours of sleep a night, but it’s his own damn fault for chatting up girls so to hell with the rules.  Danny also takes a selfie with the guests, which gets him scolded by Bryan for treating his job like summer camp.


Danny is like a dog with a bone when it comes to TKG Morgan and seems to lose all professionalism whenever he is near her.  One of the other TKGs comments to Jen that it’s only been 24 hours and suddenly these two are in love?  We also never get a straight answer out of Morgan when Julia asks if she has a boyfriend, so that’s interesting.

Morgan asks Danny if he wants to go climb on some rocks, which is clearly code for- let’s go have a sneaky makeout sesh.  Danny knows this isn’t right, but he has butterflies and probably a hard on, so he says fuck it, and kisses Morgan behind a rock.  They are acting like they are high on ecstasy and keep saying things like “I feel you” and “just be here”.

For the record- I like Danny.  I think he’s a good guy and I think he’s probably a good worker.  But I also think that he should 100% get fired.  What he is doing is unprofessional at best and it looks like it only gets worse in the next episode. Someone does typically get fired on every season, so if tradition holds, my money is on Danny for this season.

Until next week!

Recap written by Liz