The reunion picks right back up where it left off last week, with Yolanda running off to Andy Cohen’s dressing room and falling into the arms of everyone’s favorite Health Advocate, Daisy.  Yolanda calls the whole exchange between The Lisas “hurtful” and Erika, who followed Yo into the room, agrees that it’s hurtful.

Lisa Rinna keeps yammering on about how she never would have said what she said without LVP encouraging her to say it.  Can we all agree that this is bullshit? Rinna keeps talking about how she is “owning” her mistakes, but blaming someone else for what you said is not owning a damn thing…

Yolanda comes back, Andy catches her up on what The Lisas have been saying, and asks Yolanda who does she believe?  Yo wants to believe LVP (who apologizes for doubting Yolanda) but says that she’s watched LVP over the years manipulate the situations she has been in, whether that’s been intentional or not, and that LVP is great at what she does.  Yolanda calls LVP a beautiful, powerful person who has a past of manipulating situations in order to make great TV but Yo tells LVP that she “can’t run over dead bodies just to make a good show”.

yotalkstolvp

Hold on.  This has been, without a doubt, the worst season of RHOBH to date.  LVP is a master at maintaining her status as an audience favorite, and yes, some of that involves manipulation, but I refuse to blame her for this painfully boring storyline.  Rinna brought it up.  Rinna kept it going.  Rinna felt the tides turning against her and decided to throw LVP under the bus.  And again I would ask the women to consult their Housewives History.  They are not the first to try to dethrone The Queen, and they will not be the last.  And I’m so tired of Rinna and Eileen thinking that they are Warriors of Justice and Truth (especially when we all know that job belongs to RHOC’s Megan King Edmonds). To paraphrase what a friend of mine said recently, I just want to ship off Rinna and Eileen to a new show called The Real Housewives of Who Cares.  And throw in RHOA’s Kim Fields for good measure.

Andy asks about Muhammad saying that the kids didn’t have Lyme Disease to LVP, which has caused some friction in Muhammad and LVP’s relationship.  Muhammad only said “they’re fine” because he didn’t want to discuss it with LVP.  This sounds like a big misunderstanding, ultimately, and as we know from social media, LVP and Muhammad have already moved past this so it’s really a non-issue.  Yolanda is also pissed at Kyle for asking LVP about what Muhammad said when they all had that dinner, but that’s like being mad at a dog for barking.  Asking leading questions in an attempt to stir shit up is just The Kyle Richards Way.

Yolanda finally gets to the heart of the matter for her which is “who fucking cares who said it- it was about what was said.”  Andy gleefully jumps up and down in his chair when he hears Yo curse.  It’s cute.  Yolanda starts to cry and says that with what she’s had to go through, with desperately searching for a cure and spending time in the Lyme clinic with parents who’ve had to sell their homes just to afford medical treatment for their children, they would all feel ashamed of themselves for ever doubting her.  The women all rush around her and bleat out their apologies like sheep.

yosad

During the break, Lisa Rinna cozies up to Yolanda and waxes poetic about how sorry she is and she hopes that they can start over, etc etc etc and I’m just not buying any of it.  Not that long ago, Rinna sat on a beach with Eileen and spewed vitriolic hatred Yolanda’s way, calling her the worst manipulator on the show and questioning her intentions with sharing her “journey” and now Rinna is trying to be all cuddly and soft with her?  Rinna, you may be a star on QVC, but I am not buying what you are selling here.  And I don’t think Yolanda is either.

UGH.  Kim Richards is back after the commercial break and I just don’t care.  It’s sad that Monty died.  He seemed sweet, even if he was a total enabler.  We get a video recap package of everyone asking about Kim, and Kyle pouting about it, and Rinna gleefully gossiping about the arrest, etc. and again, I just don’t care.

Andy asks Kim where she is with her recovery, and Kim says that she’s decided to keep that private from now on.  Good, because I don’t care.  Kathryn is visibly worked up over this segment which makes sense considering her nephew’s recent overdose and death.  She can hardly muster up a sentence but throws Kim a double thumbs up.  It’s yet another sweet and genuine moment from Kathryn.  Kim says that watching everything back, she feels like she was really hard to love at times, but Kyle corrects her and says that Kim was always loved, but that it was definitely difficult to like her sometimes.  Kathryn says that she just wants the best for Kim (but then, she never interacted with KrazyKim so it’s easier for her), and Eileen says that she too just wants the best for Kim regardless of the issues they had last season.  Rinna, who can’t keep her damn mouth shut, pipes up that she feels the same way.

Bull. Motherfuckin. Shit.

kimcouch

Kim says that she was pretty hurt by what Rinna said and how she judged Kim over this season and Yolanda agrees that the judgment was so strong.  Andy asks Rinna if she apologizes for the words she used (“dangerous”, “gross”, etc.) and Rinna says that she was still angry since there was never any closure over the #WhatDidHarryDo moment last season.  Yolanda keeps pushing Rinna and asks why she wasn’t more sensitive to Kim’s issues considering Rinna lost her sister to addiction.  Ugh.  I’m begrudgingly on Rinna’s side here for the most part, but I would be there all the way if she just owned that fact that she doesn’t like Kim and actually does not wish her well, because I really think she doesn’t.  But Rinna can’t say that because that would put her in a feud with Kyle and it is bad business to be on bad terms with both the remaining OG housewives.

At least Eileen calls Kim out a bit and says that the opinion that Eileen has of Kim is based on Kim’s actions, addiction or not.  And Frankly, I think Kim should know better as an addict in recovery that she and only she can be held accountable for her actions.  Being in recovery doesn’t just mean that the sins of your past get washed away.  A HUGE part of the 12 step program is making a list of those you’ve wronged while in the throes of your addiction and making amends for your actions.  Has Kim ever apologized to Eileen for the way she behaved at her home?  Of course not.  Because Kim uses her addiction as a shield.  She’s publically stated that the show made her fall off the wagon before, and even here she is acting like this wounded animal.  I don’t buy it and think that she will continue to fail as long as she refuses to take full accountability for her actions.    It really speaks to how much I hate Kim and her bullshit that I’ve spent two paragraphs defending Rinna and Eileen.  There’s a bit more to this scene with Kim, but (all together now-) I DON’T CARE.  So I’m moving on.

partyshot

After the commercial break, we take a look back at the various parties that were hosted by the women this season and I’m reminded that none of them know what a real BBQ is.  I’m patiently waiting for #RHOD to solve this problem and give us a real Housewives BBQ since currently, I’d say that the DuBrow’s ground breaking hoe-down was probably the closest we’ve seen, but still not quite there.  Kyle says that her definition of a “BBQ” is when people eat outside. So I guess for Kyle, “BBQ” is just synonymous with “al fresco”.  Rinna says that next year she will host a REAL BBQ and I’m already exhausted by the thought of another full season of Rinna and her nonsense.

Oh lordy.  So we’ve just arrived at the portion of the reunion where Eileen is going to demand yet another apology out of LVP for daring to ask when Eileen and Vince’s affair started, even though it wasn’t “out of nowhere” like Eileen keeps insisting, but instead was totally within the context of the conversation at hand.  Ready?  Me neither.  Because at this point, Eileen and Vince have been married for 13 years, so who cares?  I will tell you who cares- Eileen.  Eileen has clearly never worked out her guilt over the situation and she really should have by now.  That’s why Eileen’s projecting all of her own insecurities on LVP and blaming LVP for making her feel uncomfortable.  It’s sad.  You had an affair and it resulted in a marriage that has lasted a long time.  It’s fine, and no one cares.  Own it, as Rinna would say.

eileen couch

After the video recap package (which I’m always tempted to abbreviate to VRP, but feel like that’s too close to VPR), Eileen looks smug and says “well, that says it all, doesn’t it”.  Look, I know I’m a stickler for apologies that aren’t sincere and I’ve taken other housewives to task on that before, but I think LVP is right to only feel like she needs to apologize for hurting Eileen’s feelings, and not for what she actually said.  Eileen says that she feels vindicated and spouts on about how it’s not even about what LVP said, it’s how she treated Eileen when Eileen came to LVP and “nicely” asked her about it.  UGH.

No, that’s NOT what this is about.  Eileen is uncomfortable with her own sordid past and is mad at LVP for airing her dirty laundry (even though it’s totally public record).   Kyle correctly identifies the affair as a “trigger” for Eileen and says that when she then didn’t get the apology the way she wanted, it just snowballed.  And on top of all of this, Eileen has decided that this whole incident is her “proof” that LVP is manipulative, which is just bananas.  The whole thing is bananas. LVP manages to suppress an eye roll and apologizes YET AGAIN, this time for the fact that Eileen thinks she’s manipulative.

Eileen sharing her history of abuse is brought up and it took me a minute to place that before I remembered that I had turned off the episode when that started.  Because like LVP, I felt like she was only bringing it up to benefit herself and to get screen time.  Again- CONSULT YOUR HOUSEWIVES HISTORY.  We’ve already had the domestic abuse plotline and that one was in real time, and ended tragically.  Eileen wants to be open and share her past only when she feels it will garner sympathy and LVP sees right through that.

lvpcry

Even though LVP clearly doesn’t want to talk about it, Andy asks her about her own history with domestic violence and LVP gets uncharacteristically emotional just in time for the episode to be over.  Looks like next week will be a rehash of everything I didn’t like about Kathryn, so we shall see if my warm feelings towards her survive that.

Until then-

Recap Written by Liz 

10thoughtsblog@gmail.com

@10thoughtsblog

Advertisements