1. First, a quick catch-up on last week, since I was out of town and couldn’t do my #10Thoughts: Lala’s makeup/clothing is gross (though I commend her for announcing on Twitter that she can’t own 100% of the game 100% of the time). Those are two enormous vats of wine in the background. I want that. But would the wine still be good? Probably, because I’d drink it before it would spoil. James is desperate and gross. Lisa’s outfit was weird. Scheana looks deathly, frighteningly skinny. Alright, now on with the show.

2. James makes me crazy. I don’t like him at all. He’s stupid and awful. He’s not charming, funny, talented, unique, attractive, or intelligent. Zero redeeming qualities. I blame his mom. She seems similarly awful. PS, breaking news: Allegedly, James’ mom stole Kristen’s credit card and bought Botox with it. What?! This was first announced by Stassi and confirmed by Kristen & Kristen’s mother. Mrs. Kennedy said she was Kristen’s “older sister” and the Botox was a gift. Apparently she gave Kristen the $400 back and no charges were filed. Stassi also claims his mom robbed a bank AND that Lala pulled a knife on Faith this season but it wasn’t shown.

3. Katie was never going to break up with Tom2 if he didn’t propose. Never ever. She gets to be in an asexual relationship with a pile of beautiful clay.

4. Brittany claims she never googled Jax. Bullshit. BULLSHIT.

5. Is anyone else disappointed Andy Cohen didn’t take James to task on treating women like garbage? Maybe it’s coming next week? Probably not. Andy sort of treats these people like they’re idiots. But with the exception of Stassi they are, so I guess that’s fair.

6. Tom1 essentially told LVP she needs to tell him what to do because SHE knows what he is good at. He doesn’t. Um. What?

7. Katie still has that nose ring.

8. Lisa needs to calm the fuck down telling Ariana to stop cursing.

9. Brittany made a good point when explaining why she stood by no-good Jax in Hawaii. She was going to stand by the man she loved over a girl she’d met two times. Word. Side with him publicly and hash it out later.

10. YES Stassi called James out immediately. Like, exactly what Andy should have done. He won’t cop to being a complete asshole because he literally is a complete asshole. I agree with Lisa that Stassi wouldn’t be around if there was no show.

#10Thoughts written by Kerry