I get that Yolanda is Very Sick, and I get that this is not just a storyline on a tv show, but in fact, her life. That said, I am totally and completely over it.  Call me heartless, call me cruel, call me maybe, but I just don’t care.  I know she thinks that by staying on this show, she is bringing awareness to Lyme Disease, but I would have respected her so much more (and enjoyed one of my favorite tv shows so much more) if she had just stepped down and decided to dedicate her life to traveling around the country, doing speaking engagements talking about the disease, and taking sick/healthy selfies instead.

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Blargh.  Anyhow, we start things off at Yolanda’s downtown Condo of No Makeup and Casual Wear.  Yo calls Gigi to congratulate her on something (I’m guess a runway show) and then she calls David who is listed in her phone as “David Foster my Love”.  Ha! Although, sad.  Yolanda is nervous about her speech at the Lyme event in NYC, that Yo invited all the girls to.  She tells us that now that her brain is all Lyme-y, she has to think of things 100x over.  She’s been working on the speech for 2 weeks.  Just make Daisy, everyone’s favorite Health Advocate write it!

Next we head back to the doctor with Kathryn.  Jesus Christ.  It’s like the editors for this episode are mad at me or something.  Fortunately, SexyDonnie is also there, so at least I can watch something semi-pleasant.  Kathryn is getting fixed for an earpiece that will allow for both of her ears to be able to hear.  Kathryn has large, yet boney Man-Hands.  That doesn’t pertain to the show at all but I thought you all should know.  Kathryn blames her hearing loss for why she is a shouty bitch.  It’s not the volume of your voice, Kathryn, but the content of your words that you need to apologize for.

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YAY!  We leave the losers and head over to Camille’s house!  I love it when they bring Camille back.  Whose decision is it that she’s not on full time?  Camille had endometrial cancer and is now hosting a fundraiser to raise money for the disease.  Yolanda manages to crawl out of bed to show off her new haircut support Camille.  It’s some sort of diamond charity?  Anyhow, all the women look beautiful – except for Kyle who is wearing a dress that has a weird mesh cut-out part in the center.  Lisa Rinna is uncomfortable because Yolanda is there and Rinna has been talking hella shit.  Rinna will not be attending Yo’s event for Lyme in NYC, which is just as well since ultimately, Rinna doesn’t support Yo.  She shouldn’t be there.  Also- Kathryn calls LVP “Pumpy” and it makes me want to punch her in the face.

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Yolanda says that her illness has made her psychic and more in tune with people’s energy and she can feel that something is off with Rinna, so she goes to give her a hug.  It’s….oddly threatening?  Like a killing her with kindness thing.  Off to the side, Kyle and LVP question what is happening and LVP is jokingly miffed that the two of them never get to “hug it out”.

Rinna doesn’t like Yolanda.  She just doesn’t vibe with her and that’s fine.   But it really isnt any of Rinna’s business that Yolanda would go to a birthday lunch with Brandi and Kim the same day as Erika’s dinner party. And it really, REALLY, isn’t a big deal.  Erika didn’t care, and furthermore, the dinner was supposed to be a way for the ladies to meet Tom, and Yolanda already knows Tom.  I think Rinna is grasping at straws here.  She won’t directly confront Yolanda about using her illness manipulatively, so she is picking a fight about something else.  It’s kinda lame and Yolanda has every right to put Rinna in her place gracefully.

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But that’s not what Yo does.  Instead, she takes this opportunity to spout off about her continued “loyalty” to Brandi and Kim and how they have been more supportive than the rest of the women combined.  Kyle rightly identifies this as a dig.

Rinna and Yolanda go back and forth about who did what and their lack of trust and why can’t anyone on this show ever just say “hey, we aren’t friends, and that’s okay”?  Erika defends Yolanda by reiterating that she didn’t have a problem with Yo skipping dinner.  And that really should be the end of it.  But again, this has nothing to do with Rinna being mad that Yolanda wasn’t at dinner, and in fact, Rinna probably had a better time, and definitely got a better seat, BECAUSE Yo missed the dinner.

Back in my happy place, aka Villa Rosa, I immediately go from happy to furious as LVP answers the door and Kathryn is standing outside, but least LVP won’t let her hold Schnookie, just yet.  I will try to not hate on her too much in this scene though, because Kathryn is there to help with the Stop Yulin campaign.  I applaud LVP for all of her work to help stop that horrible “festive”.  Dogs are friends, not food.  LVP and Ken have spent months organizing a march to the Chinese embassy in LA to protest.

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OOOOOKAY- so this all starts to make sense when LVP asks Kathryn if she can ask SexyDonnie to ask his friends with large twitter followings to tweet about it.  It’s the actually influential people that LVP is after and Kathryn just got caught up in her web.  #VanderpumpsWeb #WannaBeCaughtInIt

I’m not going to talk about LVP complementing Kathryn.  I’m just not going to do it.

The group that volunteered building the house last week all meet up for dinner, minus Erika who doesnt feel well.  I hope someone checks her instagram and makes sure that she didn’t do anything but lie in bed today.  Kyle brings up the possible girls trip to Dubai, and everyone seems pretty into the idea.  I’m exceptionally jealous because Dubai is on my short list of places I’m desperate to see (others include Egypt, Tokyo, Thailand, and Dollywood).

So as it turns out, a lot of people in the group can’t go to LVP’s march, which is bullshit.  Eileen tells LVP that she can’t go, and LVP claims to have no problem with that and snits that she doesn’t want anyone to go if they don’t really care.  Eileen says that she wants to go, but needs the day off.  Oh yeah, Eileen?  The only day off from brutal torture that those dogs in Yulin get is the day they are finally killed and eaten.  You need a storyline, not a day off.

Now as per usual this whole season, because Eileen has no reason to be here, she once again feels the need to stir shit up.  This time, she brings up the fact that she knows that Rinna told LVP that Eileen said that LVP was manipulative.  Ugh.  Then Eileen says “I don’t think I’m reinventing the wheel here”.  And then the women bring up several examples that do not at all fit the definition of manipulation.  Is LVP suggestive? Absolutely.  But the other person always has the option to blow off her suggestion.

But really, it’s about that time in the season for everyone to gang up on LVP.  I do give props to Kyle for sticking up for LVP, because she doesn’t always do it.  BTW- Eileen refers to Lisa Vanderpump as “LVP” in her talking head and while I know we aren’t the only blog that does that, I choose to take it as a shout out.

Next up- it’s the day of the Yulin march and I swear to god, when this happened in real time, I actually looked up flights from Oakland to LA to see if I could go but I was 8 months pregnant and the only place I was marching to was from the couch to the fridge and back again.  For “months and months of planning”, no one seems to know where they are going, and the protest at one point ends up outside a church, which is certainly not the Chinese embassy.

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Kathryn, Erika, Kyle all get on Yolanda’s plane to head out to the Lyme Disease event in NYC.  Kathryn apologizes to Tom (who is just making use of the plane but then heading on to Charleston, SC), and okay okay okay, Kathryn has been less terrible this episode than normal.  At least so far.

At a luggage store, Eileen meets up with Rinna and admits that she sucks at picking out bags.   But ultimately they are both there to gossip about LVP.  Man, Rinna really sucks at picking sides…

On the plane- Kathryn starts up the Eileen/LVP conversation with Kyle, Erika, and Yolanda and we go back and forth between the Plane (P) and the Luggage Store (LS).

(P) Kyle says Eileen and LVP are like oil and water, and Kathryn (who has decided that she is LVP’s new pet), defends LVP by saying that LVP apologized 3 times but Eileen just won’t accept it.  Erika rightly points out that going further than a simple apology just isnt LVP’s way and that she won’t apologize for hurting Eileen’s feelings because she ultimately doesn’t think that she did hurt Eileen’s feelings.

(LS) Eileen moves quickly on from her issues and calls Rinna out on what she said at the beach, by saying that Rinna has all these issues with Yolanda, but then didn’t actually get into it with Yo at Camille’s event.  Rinna feigns innocence that it just wasn’t the right time, but Eileen TH’s that while Rinna has big balls around her, but clams up around the people she has real issues with.  Then, Eileen and Rinna get all whispery and conspiracy-theory-esque about how Kyle and LVP are controlling everything and I swear to god it’s like these women think that they just uncovered the Tuskegee Syphilis Experiment (google it).  Rinna decides to consult her pocket dictionary and reads us the definition for “scapegoat”.  Thanks, Rinna.  Can I take the SATs over?  Because I feel like I would do so much better in the vocabulary section now…

Cut to- NYC for Eileen’s Lyme Disease awareness event.  Erika loves NYC and so do I.  I’ve been going there yearly since I was a young girl because my favorite aunt lives in there and now, my little sister (you remember her, she’s the traitor who sold my My Little Ponies) lives there and actually works for a Broadway production company.  She’s, sadly for me, living a much cooler existence than I could ever hope to live; although my new house does have a garage, so that’s pretty exciting.

Everyone meets up in the “jewel suite” which is a room that an LA jeweler has decorated with uber fancy pieces. Yolanda spies the piano and begins to play Frère Jacques (Are You Sleeping).  David comes up behind her and plays the accompaniment.  Look, I get that David is a snob, but my mother is an incredible pianist (got a standing scholarship to Julliard when she was 14), and so I’m genetically engineered to find pianists endearing; not to mention that that’s exactly the kind of thing my mom would do when i had figured out how to plunk out on the piano.  She would come up behind me and play around me so that it sounded like a full song.  I like David and i think its really hard to take care of someone who is sick.  It’s tiring and yes, vows say “in sickness and in health” but from what I can tell, their entire marriage has been a load of “in sickness”.  And this is what, his 4th marriage?

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The group heads up to the roof, on Yolanda’s suggestion, and David makes a toast to his wife getting out of bed and his desire to burn her Robe of ImVeryVerySick and Yolanda toasts to our girl Daisy, as well as her husband David who is now her soon-to-be-ex-husband.  It’s kind of a bummer. Anyhow, the girls toast her and chit chat, and then this happens:

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…and that’s a wrap on this episode.  Divorce sucks. People who were in love no longer being in love is always sad.  But on the positive, they can now go find people who are better suited for their wants and needs?  And this marks the beginning of the end for Yolanda and MyLove.

Recap Written by Liz

10ThoughtsBlog@gmail.com

@10thoughtsblog

 

 

 

 

 

 

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