Literally, everything.

Here at 10Thoughts, we have never been big fans of James.  He’s a too-big-for-his-britches whiny little prick.  That said, I think he’s actually very talented musically.  He wrote the only song Scheana ever “sang” that I didn’t hate and I’d probaby totally dig it if he were the dj at my local drunk brunch.

Should you hire him as the director of your music video?  well…you decide for yourself.  Definitely watch the video below.  Or just listen.  Listen if you want to just enjoy, watch if you are feeling snarky and in the mood for a laugh.  After that, I have my recap of all 3 minutes and 11 seconds of it complete with screenshots, so you won’t miss a thing if you decide to skip it all together (which would be a mistake).

 

James wakes up in an apartment that is way too nice for his busser salary and takes a shot of patron (the Chipotle of tequila).  We see him get out of bed in his skivvies and socks.

james shot 1

For no discernible reason (other than his mom probably paid for the location), Max Vanderpump-Todd is there and they cheers with another shot of Patron, and James does a bouncy finger guns dance for a few seconds.

james and max

These newfound video boys jump into a white Rolls Royce and if you weren’t totally sure what kind of car it was when it first rolled up, no worries, because there are about 7 shots of the logo.

rolls.png

Once in the car, the guys do a bunch of finger gun fist pumps.  And also, they roll back the sun roof and max stands up like they’re in a limo going to senior prom.

max outside of car

James, wearing skinny jeans and a tank top and holding flashlight/glow stick thingies IN BROAD DAYLIGHT, bounce-dances in the middle of a freeway tunnel.

james dances with lights

And then at minute 1:20, in between two rows of Tuscan Cypress trees, I shit you not, James raises his arms like he is Jesus Christ, the son of God, which is actually one step down from White Kanye.

james jesus

After which, we head back to the tunnel where he lights a cigarette.  As an ex-smoker who desperately misses it and loves loves loves smoking, I totally get it but it’s just not cool to smoke anymore and you look stupid when you do it.

james smokes

Briefly, they are back in the too-expensive-for-a-busser apartment where Max is conducting an invisible orchestra right outside the window.

max conducts

 

Then, at one point, there is a shot of James covered in blue paint that is being played in reverse so it looks like the paint is flying up and off of him. In other words, James blue himself.  Sadly, there is no sign of any denim cutoffs.

james blue 1

And then a confetti glitter bomb goes off.

james glitter bomb

And James silently screams.

james roar

And it is my everything.

Do you- White Kanye…Do you.

World’s Greatest Music Video Lovingly Recapped by Liz 

10thoughtsblog@gmail.com

@10thoughtsblog

 

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