For some reason, I completely forgot about the reunion shows and my excitement at being done with this show last week was premature.  My apologies.  How could I forget about the true star of this series, Dr. Drew?!

This episode will focus on Maci and Farrah, which surprises me since usually they save the most explosive mom for the 2nd reunion show.  Maybe Farrah doesn’t give us anything good?  I hope that’s not the case.

everyone on stage

Anyhow, we start off with all the moms, the kids and the fathers on the stage (minus dead daddy Derek, obviously).  Things we learn while everyone is on stage:

  • Amber and Maci thought the original show (I’m guessing 16 & pregnant) was going to be a one off, like an episode of True Life
  • Tyler and Catelynn are impressed at their castmates ability to be parents at such a young age. Ty and Cate are just now dealing with a baby full time and they are older and established and it’s still really hard.  Word up.  I’m 30 with an amazing partner and it is not easy.
  • Maci has followed Amber’s story the most and is so impressed with her growth and development.
  • Farrah says that she and producer Heather are so close that even if she weren’t on the show, they would still stay in touch. Um, no.  Heather would run as far away from the Farrah crazy train as possible if she weren’t being paid.
  • Bentley says that getting his tonsils taken out was not fun but he enjoyed all the ice cream, Sophia says that she likes to make potions. WITCH! Leah likes magic- specifically the magical ability to break cookies and then put them back together.  Bentley also has a crush on Leah, which is adorable and smart because his other option is Sophia who, as I already said, is a witch.
  • Tyler says that Teen Mom has been a movement and they are proud to be a part of it as well as advocates for adoption.

 

Dr. Drew plugs itsyoursexlife.com, tells us that teen pregnancy rates have dropped significantly but 1 in 4 girls still get pregnant before the age of 20.  Planned Parenthood says that it’s more like 30% but close enough.

We watch a montage of what’s happened over the past season and if you missed any of it, check out our Teen Mom OG section of the blog to catch yourself up.

We kick off the reunion with Maci and get another montage of Maci-specifics. It’s mostly scene after scene of “Ryan is a terrible dad” and then “Taylor is a lazy dude who won’t propose”.

maci reunion

After the clips, Maci has tears in her eyes and says that she and Ryan have been coparenting really well.  She tells us that Bentley adores Jade, which is very sweet. Maci is overwhelmed with the t-shirt company and the plan is for Taylor to quit his job and run the company full time.  What does Taylor do, and how successful is the t-shirt company?  Because I’ve never seen one of those leather pocket shirts outside of this show (Taylor is, of course, modeling one on this episode).  Dr. Drew asks Maci about her “Taylor won’t propose” storyline and she says that she loves him and he is an incredible father and life partner but ultimately she isn’t going to wait around forever.  I hate it when the reunions are filmed so far in advance of their air date because as we all know now, Maci and Taylor are engaged and she is pregnant with their second child.

taylor and maci

Taylor agrees with Dr. Drew that there has been a change in Ryan and they’ve all been together a lot more including, Maci says, in the green room today for the reunion shoot, which is something that would have never happened last year.

Ryan says that he realized how much he was missing out on and says that he has tried to become more involved with Maci if he wants to be more involved with Bentley.  Maci says that they were scared to be around each other and communicate because it had been bad for so long.  But they are both older and needed to realize that they don’t have to argue, that they can get along.  Maci says that Bentley is so positive and doesn’t play his parents off of each other so in that way, he sets a good example of how the adults should act.

ryan reunion

Dr. Drew asks Ryan about his new girlfriend, who Ryan says isn’t really his girlfriend, but Maci clearly really likes her and wants her to be Ryan’s girlfriend.  I’d ease back on that, Maci.  Ryan’s the type to not date someone just because people want him to.  Ryan clearly does not want to talk about her (smart, keep her away from this craziness) but Dr. Drew keeps pushing and goes so far as to ask Ryan if we can meet her (that’s a big no).  Maci tells us that she is cool and pretty and we are missing out.  Although, Maci just met this mystery girl today, so the jury is still out as far as I’m concerned.  However, I think Maci is smart enough to know that if she buddies up with the new girlfriend, Ryan will continue to be cooperative and ultimately it’s just better all-around for Bentley.  Dr. Drew says that he is very happy to see how these two have made it work.  Finally.

jen and larry

My favorite folks on this show, Ryan’s parents Jen and Larry finally get to join Ryan and Maci on their reunion segment!  They should have always been there.  If Randy, Chelsea’s dad gets to come on, so should they.  Maci immediately gives them credit for all they’ve done for her and for Bentley.  Again, I love Jen and Larry.  Especially Larry, even though I like him less all dressed up (jeans and a collared shirt) and without a beer in his hand.

Jen and Larry also agree that Ryan has changed but they can’t pinpoint exactly why.  Maci thinks it’s because Ryan sees everything that Bentley is involved in (baseball, etc) and realized that if he didn’t make more of an effort, he would miss out on so much.  Ryan looks so uncomfortable during these reunions, and on camera in general, but as Maci said, he doesn’t have a job so this is his only source of income.  Really, Ryan?  Go get a sales associates position at a Bass Pro Shop or something.

Jen and Larry say that being on the show and watching the show in the beginning was hard for them because their son was painted as the villain.  Yeah, I bet that is really hard.  Especially since they work so hard to make up for Ryan’s shortcomings, so it’s not like they don’t know that he wasn’t being his best, but they still love him and they love Bentley and I just can’t imagine how hard that must have been for them.  Larry isn’t on social media and doesn’t read the magazines (I heart Larry so much, you guys), so he doesn’t really care what people think, but you can tell that the negative press got to Jen and that she is proud of how far Ryan came this season and is happy that public opinion has shifted in a more positive direction.

So here comes the reason we are all here.  Because yes, it’s lovely to see Maci and catch up with Jen and Larry, but we all know why we set our DVR to record here.

farrah

So Dr. Drew runs the Farrah tape and my body shudders from all of the baby talk.  I know I talk that way to my dog, and to my ACTUAL BABY, but Sophia is 7 years old, and Debra is like…60 something (with a bunch of brand new parts), and she and Farrah do it constantly.

So after watching her disaster of a reel, Farrah says that’s she’s really proud of the growth she has made this year and says that she is in such a good place.  And upon hearing those words, I started violently coughing/choking and the boyfriend had to run in to the room and slap me on the back.  Dr. Drew says “what does that mean” but what he is trying to say is “huh, what bitch?”

Farrah tells us that she and Simon are over, but that happens a lot, so whatevs.  She is sad that it couldn’t work out.  Farrah’s family was “so welcoming” and “talked to him so much” (which is probably #426 why he left), but she never met his family.  Of course she didn’t.  Isn’t he Indian?  There is no way Simon (or any self-respecting son) would ever bring Farrah home to his Indian mother.

Dr. Drew asks Farrah what got her so angry and caused her to lash out at Larry.  Farrah is one of those delightful people who got enough fame and fortune that she thinks everyone should kowtow to her and never argue. She feels like people who “work with her” (read: FOR HER), even “elders” (cue shot of Larry smirking in the wings), should learn how to communicate with her “appropriately”.  Sorry for all of the “”, but I can’t have you all thinking that these are my words.  Farrah says that she and Larry and the rest of the crew are good now.

farrah cry

Dr. Drew says that because Farrah has had men exploit her in her past (what?) she will relive these traumas and that’s why she lashes out.  I know Farrah has claimed that her parents abused her when she was a child, I’m not sure I’ve heard about specific exploitation?  Frankly, I’m not sure I believe that she was really abused by her parents because she constantly lets them watch her daughter.  Secondly, if she is referring to being “exploited” by James Deen, the porn actor who was her costar in the “leaked sex tape” (bullshit), I also don’t believe any of that.  But Farrah starts to cry and Dr. Drew is being stupidly supportive.

Farrah says that she hates the arguing with her parents around Sophia, but she refuses to admit that she is responsible for 99% of it.  I’ve never seen Debra or Michael start shit with Farrah, but she goes from 0 to 90 in 2 seconds flat if they say anything she deems conversationally inappropriate.  Dr. Drew says that he has seen Farrah grow this past season, and I have no idea what he is talking about.  Farrah says that she is trying to be the best person she can be, but she isn’t able to do it because OTHER PEOPLE AREN’T ALLOWING HER.  Farrah is basically saying that she has been trying to be a better person, but it’s just so hard with all of these people (who are paid to film her and cater to her and are forced to shit in a box on her driveway) trying to keep her down.

Dr. Drew says that because Farrah put her hands on Larry, he isn’t sure that Farrah will be coming back if the show is coming back.  Farrah’s face gets as twisted as a botoxed face can get (you can see it a bit in the eyes), and she clearly doesn’t like being called out on what she has done.  She says that if the show is back and she is asked to come back, she will.  On a human level, I hope she is fucking fired.  But on a recapper/viewer level, there is no way this show gets as much attention without her.

Debra joins Farrah on the stage and she looks as young as a 60+ year old woman with extensive facial reconstructive surgery can look.  It’s always spring time on Debra’s brow.  But it is a cold and chilly winter on her neck.  Debra is dressed like a slutty communist school girl.

Dr. Drew addresses their main storyline through the season of “can grandma watch Sophia” and asks if Debra is allowed to watch her now.  Farrah says yes but that what we saw on the show was just remnants of her issues with the physical abuse that happened on season 1 of Teen mom.  For the record, I’m still not buying that Debra struck first.   I think she was in self-defense mode but Farrah had real injuries and used them to her advantage.  Farrah says that she still has trouble trusting her parents.

Debra, who is just as horrible as her daughter, shifts all the blame to Michael and says that Farrah’s issues with abuse are all from Michael and Michael is the real problem in their family.  I’m sorry, but I just don’t buy it.  Dr. Drew calls Debra out on the part she played on Farrah’s fucked up childhood.  The long and short of it is that Farrah feels like she wasn’t heard as a child and that no one has taken responsibility for what they did to Farrah.

farrah michael debra

Look, this family is fucked up, and I’m sure some fucked up shit happened, but ultimately, they are all such horrible people that I have no sympathy and I just don’t care.  Michael is asked to come out and he is pissed about what Debra said about him needing to see doctors.  Maybe I’m totally wrong here, and I’m not trying to say that Michael is in anyway innocent, because let’s get real- this whole family is a horror show, but there is not one of them who gets to be the Big Bad.

Farrah, by the way, has zero remorse for what she said to Larry.  When she is reminded that she repeatedly told Larry to “fuck off” and called him “white trash”, her only reply is “good.

Apparently, when the sex tape came out, it got portrayed that Michael handled the financial dealings with her sex tape.  He blames this on management but I believe it.  I do not buy his puppy dog eyes, and I do not believe that he got through it thanks to “prayer”.  Dr. Drew says that he is glad that the sex tape ended up being a positive thing for Farrah.

For the record, my boyfriend just asked if we won the lottery, how much money he thinks it would take for us to get Farrah to jerk off her dad on film.  He thought 1.2 million, but I think Farrah does alright for herself, so I said 20mil.  I think we’d have to pay Michael 4mil.  With a buffer of 1, I’m giving it 25 million dollars.  I asked what we’d do with the rest of our winnings, and he said nothing because the world would end itself.  He’s a good duck.

Recap written by Liz 

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