When last we left our heroes, She By ShereeIsAllergicToFakeShit has just told Kim that last night the women were talking shit about her husband and gossiping about his alleged homosexuality. Nene makes an awesome “oh shit” face (see title photo) in her talking head and Kim is stone cold silent. Sheree says that the women googled Chris and that their internet search also turned up these rumors. Kenya, her voice dripping with self-satisfaction, says that the women don’t actually care if Chris is gay, or if Chris and Kim are having tax problems (nice, Kenya), but that they just want her to be real with them.
Kim’s talking heads show how furious she is, but she plays it calm and cool in front of the other women. Nene says that these kind of rumors can be damaging to children, and Kenya is pissed that around the pool with drinks in their hands, the women don’t have a problem talking shit, but they can’t say it to Kim’s face. Uh, yeah, that’s what talking shit is all about. Kim says that she “appreciates the comments” but that she is going to bed. +5 points to Kim for being a decent human being and not engaging. -10 points to Kim for not understanding the point of being on this show.
Look- say what you want about Kenya and her all around awfulness, but she’s right that all of the women (save Sheree and Cynthia) were a part of that conversation the night before and even if Phaedra wants to call it “joking around”, the fact that they are all backpedaling while in front of Kim means that they know they were wrong in the first place. Kenya has no problem talking about “Chrissy” in front of Kim because Kenya never thinks she is wrong so she has no self-awareness or shame.
The next morning, Kim and Nene are the first up for breakfast. Kim once again takes the high road and says she has had a lot of fun on this trip but feels like Kenya may be targeting her a little. A little? Oh, Kim…
Nene encourages her to confront Kenya (because Nene knows how to play this game), but Kim has no interest in stooping to Kenya’s level. And that is why this will be Kim’s last season. For the record, I think this will be a mutual split. I see no reason why Kim would want to go for Round 2 of this shit and she doesn’t bring enough drama to the table for Bravo and Supreme Ruler Andy Cohen to want to keep her on.
Phaedra shows up to breakfast dressed like it’s the 4th of July. Now, Phaedra absolutely contributed to the gossipy conversation with Kenya and the girls, but she jumps on TeamKim hella fast because Phae is no fool. She remembers Kenya’s “AIDS test” comments from reunions past and tells Kim that some snakes need to get their heads cut off. Kim says that she doesn’t want to stoop to Kenya’s level. This is unacceptable to Nene and Phaedra and they role play as Kim and Kenya, respectively, to show Kim how it’s done. It’s…not complementary to Kenya. Does anyone like Kenya? Even Brandi Glanville had Kim Richards and Yolanda. Cynthia already made it clear that there is no bestie status there. Who is in Kenya’s corner? Why is she still here? Anyhow, at the end of the conversation, Phaedra reminds Kim that she told her that they have her back. BULLSHIT. If Phaedra had Kim’s back, she would have said something during the first conversation. Kim, RUN. RUN, GIRL.
Back in Atlanda, Kandi and Todd are working on their restaurant. They are meeting with a chef to see if Kandi’s family’s style of food and cooking blends with this chef’s New Orleans style. Aunt Bertha and crew come to the meeting as well and Aunt Bertha is not feeling it. She wants nothing to do with the restaurant and is doing her best to sabotage the meeting. The food looks awesome and Aunt Bertha is a hater until the ribs come along and she says that they are off the chain. Ultimately, Bertha is too opinionated to stay out of the business, so she signs on. Those ribs did look awesome. Ladies, find yourself a man who knows how to cook ribs. Or learn how to cook them yourself. Either way. Life is too short to not have access to awesome home-cooked ribs any time you want.
Cut to Kim in Jamaica with her freakishly adorable kids, Kim tells us that she appreciates Phaedra and Nene’s advice, but going to battle with Kenya is just not her style. Kim calls her AWESOME husband Chris and tells him what happened with the women. Like Kim, Chris handles it incredibly maturely. Seriously, these people were not meant for reality TV. The greatest evidence of this is when Kim says “Why play dirty? I’d rather play grown”…Yes. That’s exactly the way a person should live their life. Unless they are on a reality TV show.
Peter takes the group to Dunn’s River falls. It looks AMAZEBALLS. The group is slip sliding their way up the rocks and Kenya makes her way up to the top first. The rest of the women (because let’s be honest, they all hate Kenya), fault her for making it up the falls so quickly. Nene says in a talking head that it’s not okay for Kim to not address her issues with Kenya because it’s effecting the whole group- basically implying that she is going to make sure it gets brought up. And THAT is why Nene got paid the big bucks on this show. Long Live The Queen.
Peter, who has frankly been delightful on this trip, brings the group to an authentic Jamaican outdoor restaurant for some jerk chicken and marijuana. The women are separate from the men at first and each respective group is giving Kenya and Matt a hard time about their relationship. Then, Porsha tells the ladies that Oliver is the “calm to her storm” and Oliver admits to the men that Porsha is “a lot of ass”. It’s like that scene in Friends where Rachel is describing her first kiss with Ross and she is being all passionate and Monica is way too into the conversation considering that Rachel is talking about her brother and then the scene shifts over to the guys and all Joeys asks is “tongue?” and Ross says “yeah” and the guys say “nice” and nod and keep eating their food.
Nene decides to bring up that morning’s conversation with the ladies because she knows what her bread is buttered (#Bravo). She tells Kim to confront Kenya and then that way, the whole group can talk about it. Kim respectfully says that they might have their differences but that she will not tolerate Kenya disrespecting her family or herself. She says this politely and maturely. And so naturally, Kenya apologizes and admits that she was out of line and she hopes that Kim will forgive her and that they can move forward. OH EXCEPT NOT SO MUCH. Kenya starts off the conversation disrespectful as hell, telling Kim that she congratulates her on speaking for herself. Cynthia tries to step in and say that this is where they go wrong, but Kenya is not having it. She says, and I quote, “You are not going to come for me time and time again, because I did not send for you.” Which, is a great line that I will remember in the future, but is a bitch ass move that Kim has done anything to warrant.
Cynthia tries to call Kenya out for her physical disrespect of Kim. Kenya apologizes for the moving the chair incident, but she keeps telling Kim that she will respect her ask long Kim respects Kenya back. Kim has literally never disrespected Kenya. Her issues are with CYNTHIA but she is taking it out on Kim and its immature and gross.
Cynthia HILARIOUSLY talking heads that she has a hard time believing that all this drama is about Kim and Kenya’s issues. DING DING DING! That is correct. All of these issues stem from your weak ass shit, Cynthia!
Nene is disappointed that all of this was settled in a dignified manner so she retires for the night, bored out of her mind.
Cynthia, Sheree, and Nene are back at the hotel eating desserts. Cynthia congratulates Nene on helping the group heal instead of being divisive. Cynthia says that she also has some issues with Kenya that she needs Nene’s help on. She literally has a list of grievances with Kenya. Like, it’s on a piece of paper that she’s reading off of. Nene basically suggests that Cynthia talk to Kenya. Good advice, Nene. What the hell is wrong with you, Cynthia?
Later at dinner, everyone compliments Peter on how put together he is and how he and Cynthia seem to have that spark back. I don’t know about all that, but this trip has definitely made Peter look like the good guy and Cynthia look like a weak ass bitch. Kenya and Matt are late to dinner and no one points it out because that would be rude and ruin the good time. HA, no. Everyone points it out.
Peter, delightfully, thanks everyone for coming and Kenya and Matt show up in the middle of his speech. Everything is going really well so far at this dinner. Peter teases Matt for saying that he loves Kenya, Porsha talks about how Jamaica just “does something to a couple”, and everyone laughs it up. Until Cynthia decides to ask Kim about the ‘Mercial and when she might see some footage. The camera shoots to Kenya who instantly has hate in her eyes (or it’s just good editing and at that actual moment Kenya had her mouth full of food and couldn’t have cared less).
Kim says that she should have a rough cut at the end of week. Porsha says that it was great that everyone was able to be involved and Cynthia, because she just can’t let shit be, says that the only thing missing in the ‘mercial was Kenya. Kenya says that she’s been hurt from the get-go with this whole situation because she had come up with 2 different pitches for the commercial (bullshit) and her feelings were hurt that Cynthia didn’t ask to hear them. Ummm, I’m sorry, but Kenya didn’t even bother to show up to the pitch meeting and never bothered to follow up with Cynthia. Kenya also says that she was upset about Cynthia denying their friendship which is actually totally fair.
Kenya says that she felt like Cynthia was the only person who had her back and to have her deny their friendship was hurtful and that that made Kenya act out and she is sorry. This is a mature moment from Miss Moore and Peter acts like a dick by asking her to repeat herself. Cynthia accepts her apology but doesn’t bother to apologize back. Because again, Cynthia is a weak ass bitch. At least Kenya isn’t sneaky about her awfulness- it’s all there on front street. Yes, Cynthia, you are worse than Kenya. Enjoy that.
Recap written by Liz