1. You guys. I do not like Eileen. I mean, I don’t dislike her either. She’s just a bore, and I don’t know why she’s on the show. However, watching this episode… I think I might be Eileen. I watched her go to lunch with that awful (was it really that awful?) handbag and seriously awful hair (that brown streak!) and I thought, “I bet Kathryn’s going to get a lot of shit for being so rude to her, but I would totally want my friend to tell me if I look like a mess.” I mean, I don’t think Kathryn is that close enough of a friend to tell her that yet and I certainly don’t think she needs to buy a $3000-5000 handbag to be stylish. However, the point remains I’d be the one with the bad bag and I would want my friends to let me know.
2. I had already started to think of myself as the Eileen of the group when I saw that denim jumpsuit walk out of that car. I about peed myself. NOOOOOO. I think I would know better than that, right? But let’s flash forward to her terrible, terrible, awful terrible shoes. That’s when I knew: I don’t know what shoes to wear with anything, ever and I refuse to spend money on footwear. I AM EILEEN. GOD DAMMIT.
3. Let’s rewind to the beginning of this episode. In my #10Thoughts about Dance Moms, I mentioned the producers’ meddling is getting old. Why would Yolanda go to cryotherapy gleefully, then lunch begrudgingly? I suppose begrudgingly isn’t the best term, because she had an agenda for that lunch. Producer meddling or not, I loved how direct she was. Her message was clear, her syntax was on point, and I always love it when the ladies bring evidence (flashback to Brooks’ “cancer”). The only thing I didn’t enjoy was the use of the word homies.
4. I know this is out of order, but we need to talk about Erika Jayne. First, let me just say she. is. awesome. However, I take issue with she and LVP battling about who knows gay people better. Neither of them are a spokesperson for the community. One gay person isn’t even a spokesperson for the community. Don’t get me wrong; I LOVE that they are advocates. I have been one for 14 years now. It just makes me think about when they had a party last season where everyone was saying they were going to bring “their gays.” You guys. They are people! Not props.
5. That being said, I think LVP was trying to tell Erika Jayne to not generalize by saying all gay people love the word cunty and I loved EJ firing back that’s this ain’t Pump. Can I feel both of those thoughts at the same time? Yes. Yes I can.
6. Why why why would you KNOW EJ said the Yolanda thing and then bring it up right after her show? That is some rude ish. I usually wouldn’t be behind someone for lying to a group’s respective faces, but if ever there was a time to lie, that was it. I’ll let it slide. Speaking of EJ…her interview talking heads are so bizarre. That weird one with the barrette on the top of her head is a hard no for me. I love the gold Barbie look, though. I’d normally think it was a little sad for a 44 year old to be doing that, but she’s an anomaly. Do you, Erika Jane. Do you.
7. Why was Kyle’s friend the ONLY one appropriately dressed for the club? Cute, simple T-shirt and jeans. All the other women were wearing jumpsuits sans bras or formal wear. Come to think of it, does anyone besides LVP even own jeans? And all of LVP’s go up to her nipples so I’m not even sure that counts.
8. A little more LVP light bashing: a nude bottom is not an invitation to touch said nude bottom. Ok, I understand those people LIKELY wanted LVP to touch them (she “spanked” one male and one female in tonight’s episode, both completely un-verbally-invited). LVP can touch me whenever and wherever she damn well chooses. I just thought it was a bit presumptuous/gross that just because someone is scantily clad that LVP feels like it’s totally cool for her to touch them. That’s another hard no for me.
9. Remember that scene before Erika Jayne went on stage where they were in a prayer circle? Ok, they weren’t praying but that was totally a prayer circle. One that must set some sort of record for most leather/least amount of clothing worn in a prayer circle.
10. I’ll end on the final scene when the women are WASTED. And not sad Taylor wasted. Just fun girlfriends wasted. I liked that. Rinna misquoted two different Shakespeare quotes, one multiple times. Then she couldn’t find her room when she was standing RIGHT in front of her door. LVP and Kyle’s friendship seems fake most of the time, but it seemed real when they were trashing plates and smearing ketchup and mustard on random hotel walls. I’d have totally bolted too…but I don’t have LVP’s cash. She should have left a couple bucks, no??
10Thoughts written by Kerry