Kyle comes over the Villa Rosa and LVP has a bone to pick with her. Kyle is in mucho trouble for inviting the horrible Faye Resnick to her BBQ (you remember, the one that served no actual BBQ food) and not warning Lisa ahead of time. I’m usually on Vanderpump’s side with things, but I don’t think it was Kyle’s responsibility to inform LVP about the guest list, especially since Kyle and Faye are friends so it shouldn’t have been shocking. In a talking head, Kyle insists that Lisa is just holding a grudge and that she needs to let it go. What is it with these people? Not wanting to hang out with someone who treated you poorly in the past does not mean that you are holding a grudge or unable to move past things (cough cough SCHEANA cough cough).
I will give props to Kyle though for defending her friend Faye when Lisa referred to her as an orangutan (HA). Faye is also invited to the joint wedding anniversary that Kyle and Lisa are throwing so Lisa threatens to invite “witchy-poo”, aka Carlton Gebbia from Season 4. I really liked Carlton, so I hope that’s not a just a bluff (spoiler alert- it was a bluff. Bummer). Usually Kyle and Lisa start the season as friends and it’s typically around now when that relationship starts to implode so we are right on schedule.
Later, Lisa and Kyle meet up at the event location and discuss the guest list. Lisa is not happy about Faye coming and she brings it up as much as possible before deciding that she has been “naughty enough” and she drops it. The event space is awesome and they are having a Moulin Rouge themed party which Kyle says is just an excuse to wear fishnets and thigh-high boots and to look trashy in general. 10 bucks says Ericka will look the best.
Ericka comes over to Yolanda’s and the ladies walk on the beach because Yolanda is feeling better now that her toxic boobs have been removed. Ericka lets Yolanda know about newbie Kathryn’s beef with Faye and how they squashed it (we’ll see on that one). Ericka also tells Yo about the group discussing Bella and Anwar’s lyme disease or lack thereof. Yo is PIIIIIISSSSSSSED. But from what I can remember, LVP really didn’t want to talk about it but Kyle kept pushing, because Kyle is terrified of slipping into irrelevancy now that Kim is gone. Lisa Rinna, on the other hand, definitely HAS been talking about Yo and they make plans to meet up and discuss it.
Speaking of Lisa Rinna, she goes over to Ericka’s mansion to ask her advice about the impending talk with Yolanda. Rinna knows damn well that she has been stirring shit up but keeps playing like all she did was “engage in a conversation” about the Munchausen’s accusation. Lippy Lisa is very good at batting her eyelashes and playing innocent. This scene is also an excuse to see Casa de Girardi and I’m stoked. The furniture and décor aren’t my style at all but it reeks of money. Ericka has a chapel in her house. Not because she is religious, but because she collects religious art and needed a place to put it. I love her.
Newest housewife Kathryn goes to the gym with her husband who is super-hot. Kyle must be furious that there is a new sexy husband on this show. Like I said, the beef between Kathryn and Faye is “squashed” but it’s a ticking time bomb. I thought that Faye had written that Donnie, Kathryn’s current husband had cheated, but it was her ex-husband that Faye accused of sleeping with Nicole Simpson while Kathryn looked the other way. I like Donnie and I don’t want him involved in these shenanigans.
Boring as shit Eileen is back from Italy where she spread some of her deceased sister’s ashes. We see her briefly talk about how much of great team she and Vince are. I don’t care. You don’t care. Bravo doesn’t care because we only stay with her for about 2 minutes.
Lisa Rinna goes to Yolanda’s downtown condo to beg for some Dutch forgiveness. She talks a good game but I don’t believe it. The apology comes off as way too rehearsed to feel sincere to me. This whole scene is a giant let down because Yolanda forgives her which I can’t tell if that’s genuine or just because Yo feels too shitty and sick to put up a fight. Either way, the scene really goes nowhere.
I was right and Ericka looks bomb at the party and is dressed like the ringleader of the world’s sexiest circus. LVP is (correctly) blown away by how sexy Donnie is. Then, Kathryn has made an enemy for life in me by freaking out when Ericka says the word “cunt” which just happens to be one of my all-time favorite words. Whereas Ericka shoots to the top of my favorites list for her part in this exchange:
Kathryn: You don’t talk like that
Ericka: I kinda do
Kathryn: no, you don’t
Ericka: I won’t around you.
Kathryn: You’re too beautiful
Ericka: Thank you
Ericka (in a talking head):
She’s trying to correct me and first of all, I don’t care. And two, I’m still going to use the word cunt every time I can fucking say it.
I love Ericka almost as much as I hate Scheana.
Faye shows up to the party and tells LVP that she looks great, but Faye says it in a “never thought you could pull this off” sort of way which is stupid and bitchy but LVP doesn’t take the bait so there is no confrontation to be had. The weird thing is, this season has been so boring so far, that I was actually fine with this recycled Faye drama because I figured that meant that at least something would happen. But Faye keeps acting mature and avoiding conflict for the most part so she is serving zero purpose here. Kathryn so desperately wants Faye to engage her so that she can earn her keep and get a ticket to Season 7. Kyle continues to defend Faye and LVP clearly couldn’t care less about the whole thing. Fortunately for Kathryn, Kyle is pissed that Kathryn is talking shit about Faye, so that should hopefully develop into some sort of conflict. Unfortunately for Kathryn, the conflict may jump over her and be the root of Kyle and LVP’s season six break-up.
Not really much to say about this episode or even this season. Maybe Yolanda’s does-she-or-doesn’t-she plotline would have worked a year or so ago, but we literally just went through this with RHOC’s “Brooks is faking cancer” story that dominated the whole season and the news, so it sort of feels recycled and lame. There are also too many housewives this season. Any time you go over 5 or 6 women it just becomes way too cluttered. Too many stories to not care about. If it were up to me, I would cut Eileen and Kathryn out. It might not be fair to count out Kathryn so soon but she strikes me as a one-timer and I don’t think that she will be around next season. Yolanda I would demote to “friend” status mostly because I don’t care about her storyline. I think she is probably legit sick, but if she isn’t, then she is still sick but in a different way. Either way it’s sad, none of my business, and I just don’t care. Bring back Witchy-Poo Carlton!
Recap written by Liz