1. Catelynn says that adjusting to life after her wedding has been more difficult than she thought. This right off the bat concerns me because she’s been with Tyler for almost a decade, their daughter is almost 1, and they’ve lived together for the past…4 years? There should be basically no difference in their lives other than Cate having to make a trip to the dmv to change her name.  Tyler’s mom comes over to lay the smack down about how he is doing nothing and has no plans (no one feels the need to call Catelynn out on the same issues because she is the “stay at home mom”, which is a whole other gender issue that I could get into but it would be long winded and boring). Tyler recognizes that he doesn’t have a whole lot going on but he doesn’t know what he wants to do.  I am a lazy as fuck type of person so I totally get the whole concept of letting MTV pay your bills while you “write two books” and try to make a life out of “telling stories”. Do you, Ty…Do you.


  1. Farrah without makeup is the best I’ve seen her look in years. Farrah calls her mother (aka the most verbally abuse human in reality tv history), and Michael (her father, mind you) begs her to be nice but he can’t force the issue because yes, fellow recapper Lauren, he is definitely on her payroll.  Debra has decided to not purchase a return flight which sets Farrah off into a rant about how anything that is not part of the Farrah-approved itinerary is completely unacceptable.  Farr-bear is a brutally damaged control freak.  People ask me why I think that Scheana (#PumpRules) is the worst person on reality tv instead of Farrah, it’s because I don’t think Farrah can help it.  I think she is so brutally damaged and delusional that her constant state of anger and chaos is all that she has/knows.


  1. I’m going to say something controversial. I like Matt for Amber.  Yeah, he was a super fan and he contacted her via twitter, but I think he really loves her and she seems good around him and sure I might be an idiot for also buying what he’s selling but Matt also seems good around Leah.  The house flipping business is a good idea, and its not like he told her to put her money into some weird business venture of his.  So maybe he has a lot of kids….from what I’ve read, 5 of the 7 are much older so that’s….good I guess.  I dunno.  I just like Amber with someone who makes her happy and who isn’t Gary.  Speaking of Gary-the-Hut, I think he is by all accounts an excellent father to Leah.  He raised that girl while Amber was a hot mess and in prison.  Props to him.  And he has every right to look up dirt on the man who is part-time caring for his daughter.  But he was gleeful with the information.


  1. Full disclosure- I adore Ryan (Bentley’s dad)’s parents. They raised a fuck up, but they are delightful.  Ryan’s dad is always in a lawn chair, drinking a canned beer and telling Ryan that he’s fucking up but it’s always in this succinct manner, like “ah now that’s not good *sip*” And Ryan’s mom just wants to be around babies all the time so of course Maci plays right into that and gets her to watch Jade.  As fellow recapper Lauren pointed out – where are Maci’s parents?  I hope that they just refuse to be on camera but that they actually do help out and we just don’t see it.  But seriously though, props to Ryan’s mom who recognizes that family is family and she is willing to pitch in overboard especially since her son is sort of a “meh” dad.


  1. While I do sincerely think that Scheana is a worse person than Farrah, I will say that Farrah makes me much more uncomfortable. I have a distant family member who is very much like Farrah in that the people around her allow her to be horrible because they want to still have access to her kids.  Basically, every other family member does what this horrible Farrah-like person says because if they don’t, they will never see the kids again.  It’s pretty sick.  But both Michael and Debra know that if they truly stand up to Farrah, not only will they be off the payroll but they will lose access to Sophia.  And that kid is fuck up enough as it is.


  1. So I guess April (Catelynn’s mom) is taking Nova a day or two out of the week?  And Kim (Tyler’s mom) is questioning why this is happening at all.  I don’t know why Catelynn is letting her daughter stay with April one or two nights out of the week.  But I do know that when my mom was in town for two weeks after my baby was born I let her take over at 7am and I slept in until after 12 noon.  Because when you have your mom there to help out with your newborn or under 1 year old baby, you fucking let her help out.  And maybe Kim shouldn’t be asking why Cate is passing the baby off to her mom but asking herself why she isn’t there to take over and help out.  I just instantly bristle when I see someone call an obvious lack of sleep and exhaustion “post-partum depression”.  Tyler is walking a delicate line here and I appreciate and respect how careful he is when he is speaking to Catelynn about it.  Dammit.  That said, later on in the episode, Catelynn says that she is having Nova at her mom’s house to give her a break because she is the one who is waking up with her at night and at 7am, and she basically implies that Tyler is not helping with the middle of the night feedings.  This is complete and utter bullshit on Tylers part because he does not have a job and Cate stopped breast feeding a while ago and they are on formula.  My son’s father is working and I’m on maternity leave right now which means that during the week, I do handle all night and morning feedings and on weekends, he sure as fuck helps out and takes our kid in the mornings so that I can sleep in.  No wonder Cate is passing the buck onto April!  Tyler needs to step the fuck up.  We stopped breast feeding in my house pretty early though, so my kid’s dad was able to step in pretty early.  I think Tyler is dealing with the fact that Catelynn has done almost everything for so long that he doesn’t know where his place is.  But he is so sweet and eager to help. I never cease to be impressed by this couple.


  1. Oh Amber, the phrase “a lot of white and a lot of velvet…very elegant” doesn’t make me think of a wedding. It makes me think of a black light poster of a white tiger and Napoleon Dynamite’s Uncle Rico.  For the record, I think Amber looks awesome.  Also for the record, I think that Gary has every right to look very hard into anyone who spends time with his daughter. And Matt absolutely does not need to talk shit (“phony bastard”) about Leah’s dad while she is in the car. That said, Gary absolutely did not need to confront Amber on the multiple kid situation while Leah was in the car.  I get that this shit needs to get played out in front of the cameras, but it does not need to happen in front of the kid.  You don’t get to scream at your child’s father in front of her and then tell her “booboo don’t worry about that”.  Kids are smart than you know.    Amber and Matt go home where she lays into Matt about what’s true or not true, but I really respect that she had Matt’s back in public and in front of Gary.  That’s a sign of a truly good relationship, which is why I’m not counting these two out just yet.


  1. Bentley is 7 and I respect that he doesn’t have the bumpers on during his bowling party. Liz at 7 was not so brave.  Ryan asks to hold Jude and its actually very sweet.  My dad was always very sweet to my little sister (not his kid) and so this endears me to Ryan more than I have ever before.  I’m really touched byt this family gathering.  Bentley is a really lucky kid.  All of these people really love him and they all clearly want the best for him.  This is co-parenting done right.  Maci chalks this up to Ryan not having a girlfriend because he is nicer when he is single and doesn’t have to deal with another girl’s opinion.  Apparently Shelby wouldn’t let the annual family photo happen.  I chalk that up to Ryan being weak.


  1. Maybe if everyone in Farrah’s house would stop talking in baby-talk they could get something done. Or, that therapist should just move in full time because she has made more headway with these relationships in a 15 minute conversation than what has happened in years. Anyhow, at the very least it’s decided that both Debra and Michael can watch Sophia when Farrah is gone. I think that Farrah probably caused their divorce but she is probably also the reason that they get along and work together now.  So, Back-Door-Teen-Mom giveth, and Back-Door-Teen-Mom taketh away…


  1. So I know that as a born and bred north-central Floridian, it’s my long-standing record to be a champion for the south, but I just want to give props to the two true southern dads on this franchise, Ryan and Corey Simms (Teem Mom 2), for being so cool about their children’s stepdads. Both of these fathers seem to have great relationships with the men who have stepped up to help raise their kids and I truly believe that that has a lot to do with a general southern quality of respect and appreciation for family. I love that Ryan respects Taylor’s role in Bentley’s life.