1. I think the struggle with this season is that there is no main storyline. Season 1 was Stassi & Jax, Season 2 starts off with more of Stassi and Jax with him trying to win her back, but halfway through it takes a turn and becomes all about “did Kristen sleep with Jax”, culminating in the ultimate discovery that yes she did. Season 3 was all about the Miami girl situation and Kristen’s misguided need for “justice”. Season three’s b-plot was Scheana’s wedding, mostly because that’s all that Scheana would talk about and she put everything in terms of her wedding (“how could you do this the week of my wedding?!” “It’s my wedding month!” etc). There is no A-plot this season and several lame b-plots (aka the toms and LVP sangria). It started out like maybe the A-plot would be Shay’s addiction issues? but we’ve all but dropped that except for a camera’s long lingering shot of him drinking a beer ever now and again. The Lala vs OG girls seemed like it had legs, but now they all seem friendly. James and Kristen’s breakup was nasty but quick. Brittany moves in and other than some pretty inappropriate conversations with Lala, Jax seems to have been tamed (no cheating in vegas?! its like i don’t even know him anymore…).

2. I have no idea what Top Shop means. Should I? I’d say this is just a result of me being out of touch with what the youths are saying but im pretty sure 90% of this cast is older than me and I’m 30.

3. I didn’t hate Ariana right away, but once again, your first instincts have proven correct. That girl is such. a. bummer. She is in a perpetual state of side eye. That said, Scheana is being a pretty horrible friend to her. I think that sometimes when a girl dates someone, that guy becomes her “person” and she spends most of her time with him. I think Ariana is probably like that. She doesn’t strike me much as a “girls girl” (I’m similar to this model). Scheana is the exact opposite. I think she puts her friends above her boyfriend or husband in this case. I’m also not totally convinced that Scheana even likes Shay. I think she wanted to get married and be the boss of a relationship and Shay was available and weak. So I think Scheana got bitter about Ariana spending less time with her, and also about Ariana having her own storylines that don’t involve scheana. Katie is a perfect friend for Scheana because she is a total girl’s girl and also a complete and total follower. Still, Scheana shouldn’t be talking shit like she is.

4. It’s outrageous that Peter spends as much time in West Hollywood as he does for work but hasn’t had a gay friend fix his hair, which I agree is the one thing holding him back. That and his complete and utter lack of game (i still cringe thinking about that coffee/wine “date” with Vail and her face mole).

5. Lala is clearly one of those beautiful girls who has serious insecurity issues which is a bummer. She should know that she doesn’t need to wear that much makeup. I shudder to think of the stains that have to be all over her clothes. For the record, I think that you can be team Kristen and still like Lala. She wasnt friends with Kristen, so no reason for her to not hook up with James other than the obvious reason of him being vile.

6. James has gotten waaaaaaay too big for his britches. I firmly believe that he only dated Kristen in the first place to get on the show. I also think he only got himself hired at Sur to get on the show. Didn’t his mother beg LVP to hire him or something?

7. Faith and Max are dating. we know this because we saw that one shot of them sitting at the same table at a bar. So, obviously wedding bells are in their future. ‪#‎forevercouple‬. Side note- Is Max’s last name Vanderpump or Todd? I refuse to just go and look it up myself.

8. Kristen will end up in Hawaii solely because we, the viewers, want her in Hawaii. Zero reason for her to be there otherwise. I don’t have any bad relationships with my exes and all of them would be welcome on any birthday trip I planned, but I do have some bad breakups with past friends. And if someone were to suggest that one of them come on MY BIRTHDAY TRIP? I would lose my shit. Especially when the reasoning of “you should really just be over it by now…” is used. I AM over it. but that doesnt mean i want to spend vacation time with them.

9. I heard that the art that usually hangs up in Scheana’s house wasn’t cleared to be on tv. which begs the question, what “art” was up in her house? Was it trademarked stuff? like Hello Kitty posters? This also makes me ask, so where did the giant wedding photos come from? Did she have them in storage somewhere or did she have them made specifically for the episode?

10. Lastly, I stopped watching the aftershow because it is never good. i really like Brandy and Julie when they are on The People’s Couch and they are kinda cringe-y on this show; especially Julie who is usually a favorite of mine on TPC.

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