whew. okay. here we go with my ‪#‎PumpRules‬ thoughts:

1. A- Scheana makes me so furious, I can’t handle it. You don’t get it both ways. You just don’t. If your husband is a person with a very serious addiction, one that warrants a massive crying session as well as several episodes of you spilling your husband’s private issues to mutual friends and your boss on national television, and a friend-tervention where you screamcry “WHY DID YOU MARRY ME”, then that means that you need to respect the severity of that situation. That means that your husband needs to go to rehab, or at minimum AA or NA meetings. That means that you stay home with him and watch Netflix and/or go to the gym with him because ‪#‎forbetterorforworsebitch‬. That does NOT mean that you get to tell him exactly how many tampon-tequila shots he can have, or that it’s mostly cool if he smokes weed because it’s not convenient for you to have a sober husband. Scheana is a selfish, terrible, cunt rag, twat waffle.
B-No. She was not “standing her ground”. She was once again being a TERRIBLE friend. Because ultimately, whether she thought that about Tom or not, she has a choice to make and the choice is this- Do you want to make it right or do you want to BE right? Because being a good friend isn’t about being right. ESPECIALLY if you can tell that your actions hurt your friend, even if you had the best intentions. Scheana was aggressive and hostile. But ultimately what does she care? She has Katie now, and you and I both know that Katie is a much easier friend to have than Ariana. Because while Queen of the Side-Eye Ariana has her many, many faults, she is not a follower; she is no Gretchen Wieners.
2. Lala is hands down my favorite female on the show right now. I wouldn’t have a problem if she took her top off in front of my boyfriend but I am a freak who is missing the jealous gene. I recognize that I’m generally in the minority with that though. Now, if my boyfriend took his pants off and went swimming and got all flirty flirty splashy splashy with her? Then yeah, we would have a serious problem. Not with her, mostly because I find pirates both hilarious and fascinating (‪#‎ThatHeadScarf‬), but with HIM. Which brings us to-
3. Brittany. COME ON GIRL. I’m all for ‪#‎TeamRelationship‬ and I generally applaud a girl for knowing how to stand by her man, but we are talking about Jax. Who has been on a TV show for the last 4 years. And even if Brittany hasn’t watched any of the show (not likely), she has friends. Even more likely, she has enemies (because all pretty girls do). And there is no way that none of her friends or enemies have given her a heads up that Jax is one of the least trust-worthy people on television who loves nothing more than to stick his dick in basically anything. Also, Brittany? Always ask yourself, who has motive. What’s Lala’s motive for lying? What’s Jax’s motive for lying? Which is more plausible?
4. I don’t understand the sunscreen/tequila thing. How do you get all of the sunscreen out? Does it matter since you are shooting the tequila anyhow?
5. No one is upset with Faith because she is in a VERY SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP with Max. You can tell, because they were in that (n)one scene together.
6. KATIE AND TOM2 STILL HAVE NOT HAD SEX. They’ve been engaged for at least a week now. How. Why.
7. I will tell you why. Because Tom2 does not love Katie. He loves Tom1. And he was genuinely shocked by the Scheana/Ariana’sMom texts. As he should be. Because he’s a good friend. UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE.
8. Also- Tom1 and Ariana are not always good tv, but they are, hands down, the best couple in this whole crew. They actually seem to like each other, and I’m guessing if one of them had a very serious pill addiction, the other wouldn’t make them drink just because sobriety doesn’t fit the construct of their social life.
9. You didn’t address it but I will. When Jax is backed into a corner, he gets exceptionally misogynistic. When he was caught in lies by both Kristen and Katie in the past, he went on the extreme offensive. The “handle your woman” comment was gross. But Jax is gross, so no huge shock there. Stassi is the only one who knew how to cut him down in the way he deserved. I miss her.
10. James was a non-issue this episode, but yes. He’s awful. Except he is not even close to being the worst person on this episode. SCHEANA.